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10 Actors In Need of a Comeback
We like you, where did you go?
June 24, 2010
We recently came to the realization that some actors that we once constantly watched no longer grace our screens. This makes us sad and because we love a good comeback story, today we take a look at 10 actors that are in need of one.
10. Harrison Ford
Quick, what was Ford’s last good film? What Lies Beneath? Maybe Air Force One? That’s a 10 to 13 year dry spell for one of the biggest movie stars to ever grace our screens. Granted Ford hasn’t really disappeared--after all, he reprised his iconic Indiana Jones in 2008 but that film was a letdown. Then he followed that up with Crossing Over & Extraordinary Measures. We have no idea what those are or why he’s in them. With that said, can we get Harrison Ford in some quality flicks? At the age of 68, we can’t expect him to still kick ass nor do we want him to, seeing the elderly get beaten up in film is just wrong. We do however expect him to have a comeback by taking quality supporting roles and we’re hoping his role in Cowboys & Aliens is the beginning of having more Ford in our lives.
9. Paul Reubens
Is masturbating in a public place really such a bad thing when that public place is a porn theater? Apparently society wants people to go to those theatres for the plot but when the plot of the film is the non-stop riding of the baloney pony there really isn’t much to do except making the bald man cry. That’s exactly what Pee Wee was doing when the po-po busted him and effectively ended his acting career. He’s been doing voice work ever since but he did give a nice performance in the movie Blow a couple of years ago. That performance showcased a more serious side to Reubens, one we want to see more of.
8. Carrie Ann Moss
She’s hot, why aren’t we seeing more of her? With all the cougar talk going on today you’d think she could get a few more roles. Carrie Ann Moss was Trinity in the Matrix films, she worked with Chris Nolan and then she vanished till she popped up as Shia Lebeouf’s mother in Disturbia. That was three years ago. We need to see a woman that can kick ass on screen and look good doing it; those roles can’t be exclusively for Angelina Jolie. Someone bring Carrie Ann Moss back!
7. Barry Pepper
You may remember Barry Pepper from Saving Private Ryan, Enemy of the State and The Green Mile. Then he almost destroyed his career by starring in Lord Xenu’s Battlefield Earth. We will forgive him for it because the man is a good character actor and if John Travolta can still make movies after Battlefield Earth then why can’t him? Pepper has stayed away from genre fare and who can blame him when his first experience featured John Travolta in dreads but we hope he overcomes his fear because we could really use him on the genre side of the fence. He probably won’t be leading any films but we bet he can be the white version of Chiwetel Ejiofor, you know a solid actor who does great supporting work.
6. Christian Slater
Christian Slater used to matter back in the day and has worked with people like Tony Scott, John Woo and starred in films like Heathers, Interview with the Vampire. Slater was headlining his own films and then made the worst possible decision an actor can make, he teamed up with Uwe Boll for a video game movie. Why Slater, why would you do that when you know Ben Kinglsey is the only one to make it out alive from the deep soul draining depression hole that is an Uwe Boll movie? Five years have gone by since that horrible tragedy and the man has tried a few times to make a comeback most notably on TV. NBC didn’t give My Own Worst Enemy a chance and his latest, The Forgotten; well we haven’t met a single person that watches it. He no longer can carry his own film but we would like to see him doing some supporting work because he’s a cool cat.
5. Wesley Snipes
Here is another cat that was everywhere in the ‘90s but has mostly been MIA in the 2000s. Wesley Snipes last big screen movie was Blade Trinity, after that he mostly did straight to video flicks till he recently showed up in Brooklyn’s Finest. We gotta get Wesley Snipes back on the big screen before he goes to jail cause right now he’s out on bail for tax evasion. If he goes to jail that’s it for Snipes, he’ll be stuck there for at least three years with no acting opportunities and living in constant fear of getting raped. Snipes in prison is just wrong, here is a guy that gave us Nino Brown, Blade, Simon Phoenix and John “Always bet on black” Cutter, don’t send him to prison. So he didn’t pay his taxes why must the court sentence him to prison rape? Surely the IRS can work something out and give him some sort of payment plan for what he owes so he can be kept out of jail. Damn you IRS don’t deny us Wesley Snipes. At 48-years-old, the man still can kick ass and we would like for him to enjoy a nice comeback like his friend Woody Harrelson has enjoyed the last couple of years.
4. Cuba Gooding Jr.
He was money in the ‘90s, scoring an Oscar for his role as Rod Tidwell in Cameron Crowe’s Jerry Maguire. The 2000s came along and he’s been on a steady decline into hell that started with Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor. It got so bad for Cuba that he took over Eddie Murphy in the Daddy Day Care sequel titled Daddy Day Camp. Think about that, Eddie Murphy a mofo that made Meet Dave and The Haunted Mansion thought Daddy Day Camp was so bad that he didn’t want to be involve with it and poor Cuba had to say yes in order to get some coin thrown his way. Now Cuba is stuck doing straight to DVD films. However, we believe that his talent is still there. Gooding Jr. had an excellent cameo in Ridley Scott’s American Gangster and we’d like for him to associate himself with other top-notch directors that can make him shine once again.
3. Jean Claude Van Damme
The Muscles from Brussels came out of nowhere to show he had some acting talent in him with the movie JCVD. We were hoping this would’ve given him a shot at a comeback and joining the B-movie talent and action stars from yesteryear in The Expendables would’ve gotten him some notice but he decided to pass on the film. Why? Van Damme is a thespian of the highest caliber and won’t simply sign to a movie without seeing the script. Instead of The Expendables, Van Damme opted to return, we kid you not, to the fourth installment of the Universal Soldier franchise, titled Universal Soldier: Regeneration. The film teams him up again with Dolph Lundgren and even though the film is a straight to DVD flick its actually pretty decent for what it is. Still the decision probably set Van Damme back, the cat needs better decision making if he’s to become relevant again but were pulling him to do so because we want to witness some sweet roundhouse kicks in our local cinema.
2. Val Kilmer
Iceman right now looks like he ate Johan Hill. Dude has put on tons of weight which added to his rumored diva attitude has probably cost him some jobs. Looking back in the past 10 years his talent was just wasted to the point he was doing voice work for KITT on NBC’s Knight Rider reboot. That’s how low he got. Kilmer’s recent turn as Dieter Von Cunth in Macgruber probably didn’t help his shot at a comeback either. How could this happen to such a talented actor? Still, Kilmer is a very talented and would be an asset to any film he’s involved with.
1. Michael Keaton
He was Batman, Beetlejuice and worked with Quentin Tarantino. In the 2000s he’s been gone, forgotten and only turning up in things like Herbie Fully Loaded, a Lindsay Lohan flick. This must be rectified; he needs to get another shot. 2008 gave us Robert Downey Jr., in 2009 it was Mickey Rourke and 2010 apparently has given us Betty White. Seriously how in the hell did Betty White become relevant again? You mean to tell us that Betty White matters but Michael Keaton doesn’t? We refuse to live in a world where this is acceptable. Keaton is currently voicing Ken in Toy Story 3 and will be in The Other Guys later this summer. It’s good to see him back on the big screen and hopefully these roles are enough to make him the success story of 2010.