It has been said that every cloud has a silver lining. If this is indeed true, it can also be assumed the converse is also just as factual, and every silver lining must have a cloud.
We here at Mania like to think of ourselves as glass half full kind of guys, and to that end, we pride ourselves in finding shiny metallic elements in each atmospheric mass of water particles floating high above. And so, ever the optimist, we present 10 GREAT SCENES FROM AWFUL MOVIES
10. Neo Vs. Smith
From: Matrix Revolutions
The first Matrix was sci-fi perfection, so maybe we were setting ourselves up for failure to expect the third one to be as intellectually rewarding. That said, sweet fight scenes are sometimes worth the price of admission, and in this case, while we can’t completely shake off the sting of disappointment of the film overall, Agent Smith and Neo do their level best to show us how the Superman vs. Captain Marvel climax should go down if they ever get around to filming Kingdom Come.
9. Russell Gets Eaten
From: Deep Blue Sea
Samuel L. Jackson wanted those muther-effin’ sharks off his muther-effin’ top secret floating, remote muther-effin’ scientific muther-effin’ aquatic research facility. What was so muther-effin’ hard to understand about that?
8. Darth Maul Duel
From: Star Wars Ep 1
Yeah, you’ve heard it all before, but you’re going to hear it again. Darth Maul is potentially the greatest never-realized villain in the entire history of motion pictures. He had the attitude, he had the charisma and he had the skills… sadly, and at the time surprisingly, we discovered George was suddenly lacking in that department.
As cool as the fight scene was, and as shocking as Qui Gon’s death was, Darth Maul deserved so much more. Of course so did the audience who had waited 16 years for this unmitigated crapfest. We know some of you liked this flick, but most of us would have rather been sliced in half.
7. Asteroid Shower
Sure the movie was a tad predictable and there were more than an acceptable amount of gaps in logic for our taste, but for pure outer space visual brilliance, let’s give it up for Harry Stamper’s stunning and spacey sacrificial suicide scene. There was never any doubt, Harry is da man.
6. Everyone Gets Cut In Half
From: Ghost Ship
There are pros and cons when you’re smaller than the average sized adult. When you’re only four feet tall, you can’t get on the cool rides at the local amusement park, but you also don’t get sliced neatly in two by the cable of death. Still it sucks when you’ve witnessed that much bloody carnage, and you’re still not deemed mature enough to go on Space Mountain.
5. Creation of Sandman
From: Spider-Man 3
Escaped prisoner Flint Marko falls into the particle accelerator and becomes the tragic figure known as Sandman. We didn’t need Harry Osborn getting all Goblin-y, we didn’t need the kid from That 70’s Show getting all Venom-y, and we certainly didn’t need Peter Parker getting all Travolta-y. The scene where Flint Marko tried to pick up his daughter’s locket was hauntingly beautiful. That kind of exquisite filmmaking is too often only part of a high-end animation festival.
We would have paid $12 if they had the good sense to stop the film right there.
4. Drew Barrymore Taunts While Tied Down
From: Charlie's Angels
It’s not exactly Citizen Kane, and good thing too, because no one wants to see Orson Welles tied up in a chair with his legs spread wider than his legendary ego. Of course we’ll sacrifice intelligent plot, and revolutionary story-telling technique to watch Lucy Lui straddle a phallic-shaped rocket. And it doesn’t even need to be named Rosebud.
3. Arrival of the Silver Surfer
From: Fantastic Four 2
Shooting the tube through Manhattan skyline, passing through buildings and snuffing Johnny’s torch – the Silver Surfer’s first appearance seemed like everything we hoped for. Unfortunately as cool as the Sentinel of the Spaceways was, Galactus was at least as lame. We’d have preferred to see his gigantic purple hat/antenna on the big screen. A cosmic cloud indeed. Harumph!
2. Kitty vs. Juggernaut
From: X-Men 3
Compared to the first two, X-Men III seemed like watching a really cool video game. Action replaced genuine emotion, and special effects substituted for substance, but some of that punching and exploding was pretty bitchin’ – as in, “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch.”
Good thing it was Kitty Pryde fighting the rampaging behemoth and not the wise-cracking teenage mom, Juno. She would have launched Chinese babies at helmet-headed heavy from one of those sporting event t-shirt guns.
1. Hulk Smash Tanks
From: The Hulk
We’ve seen bullets bounce of Superman’s chest since the black and white serials, but this is the first time we noticed the slugs making an impression on the skin. The bullets seemed more like really annoying mosquitoes than life-ending projectiles, but the mortar from the tank sincerely seemed to piss off the big green galoot.
While in real life, we all support the troops, we completely understand the Hulk’s agitation at our fine service men in this instance.
Here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wrNMPRriwc
Joe Oesterle is an animator of some note. An animated short he produced has been on display at the Smithsonian since 2001. Surely you can spare 45 seconds to watch his latest Ani-Rant. Be sure to pass the link to any of your friends who work for themselves. Post it on Your FaceBook page. Joe would do it for you... Really.
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