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10 Ingenious Ways to Get Rid of a Dead Body In Movies
The Ways Disposing of the Dead In Movies
By Dirk Sonniksen
February 03, 2010
10 Ingenious Ways to Get Rid of a Dead Body In Movies
© Mania/Bob Trate
Unloading a stiff can be a tricky business. From the gruesome to the more ceremonial, it takes planning, a keen eye for detail, and in some cases, a very strong constitution. While there are a plethora of unique and fascinating ways the dead have been disposed of in film, we’ve picked ten of our favorites for your enjoyment.
10. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Disposal Method: Eat it, Wear it, Sell it, Decorate/Build with it.
The Sawyer clan keeps it all in the family, from the killing to the cooking to sprucing up the homestead with some human bones. Big, dumb, lovable Leatherface dons the skin of his victims in the form of really poorly-designed masks, while Leatherface’s older bro Drayton sells human bar-b-que and chili at the Last Chance gas station. Considered to be the Great Granddaddy of slasher flicks, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is truly sick and twisted, with the Sawyers getting an honorable mention for being super-dysfunctional, and for once again painting Texas as a terrible place to live.
9. Donnie Brasco
Disposal Method: Sliced, Diced, and Sawed into Bits
Paying tribute to one our favorite gangster films, Donnie Brasco exceeded all expectations with a great script, great cinematography, great director (Mike Newell, the same guy who directed Four Weddings and a Funeral), and great casting. One also has to appreciate the basement scene where the boys play operation on their rivals. There’s no telling where the bodies ended up, but we can only guess that their final resting place was, well... not in one place. We also give a moment of pause for Nicky, who got one in the head for not really being a rat. But hey, “Nicky was a rat, because Sonny Black says he was a rat.” Forget about it!
Disposal Method: Stuffing
In Terry Gilliam’s odd tale of a little girl trapped inside a very strange reality, little Jeliza-Rose lives with her junkie parents (Jeff Bridges and Jennifer Tilly), helping dad tie off for his daily dose and listening to his ramblings concerning his fascination with all things Scandinavian. After mom overdoses, Jeliza and dad venture off to his childhood home, where things get really crazy. Jeliza-Rose seems to deal with her turbulent life by communicating through her doll(s), but what she wasn’t prepared for was dad becoming a life-sized doll after his high-school sweetie turns out to be a rather sinister taxidermist.
Disposal Method: Ejection into Space
When you’re in deep space, using your ship as a cemetery is not only creepy, it’s a complete waste of much-needed elbow room. Unless you’ve got an extra meat locker to store your dead guys and girls, there’s only one logical answer: jettison their asses into space! Such was the case with Kane, the unfortunate host for the creepy-as-hell little space critter in Alien. Alien is by far not the only film to feature space burial, with other notables including Starship Troopers, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and The Black Hole, to name a few. It’s economical, efficient, and a really cool way to meet the hereafter.
Disposal Method: Feed ‘em to the Pigs.
Snatch features Brick Top, played by Alan Ford, one of the genre’s most notable bad guys. Anyone who has seen Snatch knows Brick Top is a sadistic bastard with a taste for blood, but Brick Top has a softer side: he’s an animal lover! Yes, this murderous old fart keeps a sounder of swine on hand, and when the dead bodies of his foes begin to pile up, what better way to dispose of your unwanted guests than by feeding them to the pigs! Brick Top gets a nod for ingenuity and doing his part to promote sustainable agriculture.
5. Soylent Green
Disposal Method: Ingestion on a Global Scale
In Soylent Green, Charlton Heston plays detective Robert Thorn, who is on the trail of a murderer but manages to get himself in deep when he learns of the diabolical dealings of the Soylent Corporation. What’s more amazing than Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson being paired in a 1970s’ apocalyptic B movie? It’s Soylent Green, and it’s people, that’s what! Yes, it’s the year 2022, and corporate-run cannibalism is all the rage, but the hapless inhabitants of this futuristic wasteland have no idea what they are consuming. If the green wafers aren’t your thing, try Soylent Red or Yellow, but beware, we can’t vouch for the ingredients!
4. Pulp Fiction
Disposal Method: Call “The Wolf”
If you’re ever in Hollywood and you happen to blow someone’s head off in the back seat of your car, look no further than Winston Wolfe. He’ll get there in a flash, he’ll have all the answers, as long as you have some t-shirts, a garden hose, and plenty of spare quilts and blankets from the linen closet. Wolfe has connections and he can “solve problems,” this problem in particular concerning one bloody car, which he hands over to Monster Joe’s for disposal. Just don’t ask him to say please.
3. La Femme Nikita
Disposal Method: Acid Bath
The acid bath is a nifty way to get rid of the evidence, but a bit a spasmodic mess when the victims are still among the here and now. In La Femme Nikita (also known simply as Nikita), Jean Reno plays Victor, The Cleaner, a man at the ready with a suitcase full of bottles of acid which dissolves his victims into goo. This 1990 French classic by director Luc Besson inspired the less-than-classic American counterpart, Point of No Return and the TV Series, “La Femme Nikita.” This grizzly disposal method was also used in “Breaking Bad,” but we prefer to give full credit where it is due.
2. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Disposal Method: Bake Them in Pies.
Sweeney Todd has a grudge, and many will pay until he can get to his intended target. Set to glorious “musical thriller” tunes, Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett have a thing going on, and not just one thing. Sure, they’re smitten with each other (Mrs. Lovett seemingly more so than Todd), but while Todd is upstairs slitting some throats, Mrs. Lovett is downstairs making meat pies...out of Sweeney Todd’s victims that fall through a chute in the floor of the barbershop. Now that is an assembly line (or disassembly line) we can all appreciate. Sweeney Todd is one our favorite freaky, bloody musicals (it might be the only one), and Tim Burton is one our favorite freaky directors.
Disposal Method: Wood Chipper
The Coen Brothers. Always the innovators with interesting takes on old themes (O Brother, Where Art Thou?, True Grit), and using everyday machinery to create a truly lasting impression. Enter the wood chipper. A piece of equipment normally reserved for that guy that trims your trees, it now sends shivers down the spines of those fortunate enough to have seen Fargo. While not the cleanest method of disposal, the wood chipper proves quite effective in getting rid of unwanted human remains. Human remains also make for very colorful compost, particularly when sprayed across the stark, wintery landscape of North Dakota. “Oh Ya Betcha!”