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10 Other Islands Besides Shutter Island Not Worth Visiting

Think dysentery and rude concierges are bad? Try vacationing on one of these islands.

By Rob Vaux     February 17, 2010


10 Other Islands Besides Shutter Island Not Worth Visiting
© Mania/Bob Trate

 

 
Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island reminds us that when trouble comes, you really don't want to be stuck on a rock in the middle of the sea. His is hardly the first island to pose such a danger, however, nor the most frightening. From the earliest days of cinema, filmmakers have warned us to stay away from those little dots on the map. Here are 10 island getaways you most definitely want to cross off your vacation list.
 
 

10. Little Tall Island

From: Stephen King's Storm of the Century
Putting aside the periodic deadly blizzards and appearances by infernal forces out to steal the local children, this place seethes with the sort of backbiting, small town hatefulness at which Stephen King stories excel. Everyone on Little Tall talks a lot about sticking together, but when the chips are down, they turn on each other like a troop of screeching howler monkeys. Save yourself the headache and just take a trip to Pismo Beach instead.
 
 

9. Ship-Trap Island

From: The Most Dangerous Game
The owner of this quaint little tropical paradise has a standing policy: tourists provide the entertainment. And juggling or doing impressions just won't cut it. He's more interested in setting you loose in the jungle, then hunting you down and shooting you like a rabid mongrel. The good news is you won't be around for the "stuffing and mounting" stage of the proceedings. The bad news is that your luggage is all going straight up on eBay regardless.
 
 
 

8. Manhattan Island

From: Escape From New York
Not even the President of the United States is sufficiently bad-ass to handle a tour of New York once it becomes "the one maximum security prison for the entire country." Warring street gangs, cannibals in the sewers, cab drivers with a fixation on American Bandstand and the worst musical number this side of Nine… it's enough to make you beg for a couple of timed explosives planted in your neck.
 
 

7. Matool

From: Zombie II
Forget for the moment that you're stuck in an Italian horror film--analogous to the Ninth Circle of Hell straight off the bat,but this particular model features an island where the dead rise from the grave. Take note of the impromptu ocular surgery class and cross it off your to-do list. And swimming? Forget it. The sharks eat anything that comes within chomping range regardless of whether it's dead or not.
 
 

6. The Island of Dr. Moreau

From: Uh, really?
When they say the head waitress is a pussycat, they really mean it.And while you may have official lawgiver status on your side, it means very little when the natives decide to stick it to the man once and for all. Plus, you get to watch Marlon Brando eat. Try to keep your gorge from rising unduly.
 
 

5. Isla Nublar

From: Jurassic Park
Granted, it may be worth the risk just to watch the T-rexes chow down on lawyer tartar, but the natives and their razor-sharp fangs aren't apt to stop there. Add to that the frequent computer meltdowns, dodgy accommodations and a truly ghastly introductory video, and your best bet is to strap yourself to the chopper and refuse to get out.
 
 

4. The Island

From: LOST
The unnamed island on Lostcan stick it to you no matter when you arrive. Dharma Initiative flunkies tend to shoot first and ask questions later, while unexploded hydrogen bombs don't exactly make for enticing décor. The fences cause fatal hemorrhages, there's a hatch with a button that could destroy the whole world, and the crazy French chick running around in the jungle is apt to put a bullet in your head just to see if the gun works. Oh, and did I mention Ben Linus? Yeah, let's join his little luau for awhile; what's the worst that could happen?
 
 

3. Summerisle

From: The Wicker Man
If the island consists entirely of women, relax. You're in the crappy remake rather than the terrifying original. Just buy a jar of honey and casually enquire if you can borrow a rowboat home. If, on the other hand, the locals are teaching their children age-inappropriate anatomy lessons, animal masks are being passed out with relish, and Christopher Lee keeps giving you with that disturbingly hungry look the way he does, then you're in the original film. Head straight to the nearest beach and start swimming. Don't eat the chocolate, ignore the pleas for help from the little girls and make mad, passionate love to someone--anyone--before you arrive. Trust us, it's for the best.
 
 

2. Skull Island

From: King Kong
The horrifying racial stereotypes waiting for you at the front desk are basically a giant red warning sign to turn around. Fay Wray can visit when she likes; the guy in charge is sweet on her and seems to have her best interests at heart. The rest of us basically get to decide which monster we'd most like to get eaten by. There's no shortage to choose from, and if the 50-foot maitre d' doesn't like your looks, he's apt to skip the meal entirely and just chuck you right off your log.
 
 
 

1. R'lyeh

From: The Call of Cthulhu
How much more can you say about an island whose existence heralds the end of the world? Thankfully, R'lyeh lies deep beneath the waves, in a remote part of the South Pacific thousands of miles from land. But while it definitely redefines the term "getting away from it all," it declines to mention where it takes you to in the process. Built by strange beings from between the stars while man was still fermenting in the primordial soup, its non-Euclidean geometry means that even the wall decorations are enough to drive you mad. As for its best-known resident--an immortal cephalopod with a penchant for stargazing--getting him out of bed early is apt to end in tears and hurt feelings for… well, everybody.
 

 

 
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COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 15
1 2 >  >>  
jppintar326 2/17/2010 4:52:00 AM

I don't know.  Maybe it would be fun to go to Skull Island or Jurassic Park. 

Wiseguy 2/17/2010 5:50:20 AM

Han's island from Enter the Dragon, unless you're a martial arts expert

The island from "No Escape" Absom or something like that.

The island from The Condemned

Karate Island from Spongebob, where they try to trick you into buying a time share

Gilligan's Island, of course unless Mary Ann is still there. I wouldn't mind being stranded with her

 

littlemikey979 2/17/2010 6:51:31 AM

What about Harper's Island. Sure its nice and great for a wedding, but when eveyone starts getting killed for one mad dudes revenge plan just for being there.

I agree with jppintar, with the vast knowlegde movies have provided use with monsters and dinosaurs, i think skull island or the jurassic park island would be cool to visit.

midwest216 2/17/2010 7:32:38 AM

Monster Island.....Godzilla anyone? or how about visiting Fantasy Island that would be cool. " Mr. Rork, Da plane da plane! "

FerretJohn 2/17/2010 8:37:55 AM

Ah, Gilligans Island, where 7 castaways are trapped for 14  years and everyone's still wearing the same clothes, where after 14 years Mary Ann is STILL a virgin, and where the Professor can build a nuclear reactor with coconuts and bamboo but can't repair a three foot hole in the side of a boat.  Such a fun place!

Of course if you're going to count Isla Nublar then you gotta mention it's nastier sister Isla Sorna.

Rheul_home 2/17/2010 10:02:55 AM

Glad to see R'lyeh got No. 1. That what I immediately thought of when I saw this list. Did anyone mention the Isle of Misfit Toys?

FerretJohn 2/17/2010 12:47:23 PM

Actually I was thinking about the Isle of Misfit Toys.  Stuck on a frozen island with a bunch of intelligent defective toys engaged in the worlds longest pity-party?  Halfway through that damned song I'd be jumping into the icy waters and seeing how far down I can swim!

NDorado 2/17/2010 2:17:40 PM

I vote for Monster Island as number 1.  Godzilla, Rodan, Mothra all on one chunk of water-surrounded land?  Come on, you can't beat that.  Watch "Destroy All Monsters" and tell me if I'm wrong.

-- Nick

from City of Kik

http://nickleshi.blogspot.com

MrJawbreakingEquilibrium 2/17/2010 3:31:43 PM

Where can I find that movie called Ugh, Really?  I've never heard of it before.

cromulentcat 2/17/2010 4:18:33 PM

How about the island from Battle Royal?! 43 delinquint students get collars slaped on them those said collars go boom in 3 days unless they kill each other untill one survives! Plus throughout the days certain spots on the island will cause theyre collars to explode(..basically you have to run, kill, and know geography or die!)!

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