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10 Worst Vacations Ever

Spring break never hurt so much.

By Stephen Lackey     March 22, 2011


10 Worst Vacations Ever
© 20th Century Fox/Robert Trate

 Did you ever have a vacation where everything just went horribly wrong? Your bags got lost at the airport, you took a wrong turn, you got bit by a werewolf, your mind got wiped and you don’t know if the trip was even real or not? It happens all the time right? Here are 10 classic films featuring really bad vacations:

 

10. Westworld

In the future there will be theme parks where you can play a role such as cowboy alongside robot actors that will help fulfill the fantasy. What would happen if the robots started malfunctioning though? Westworld answers that question as a group of people take a vacation as old west cowboys and they end up facing off against robots that begin really killing vacationers. The film was written and directed by Michael Crichton and stars Yul Brynner, James Brolin, and Richard Benjamin.

 

9. Hostel

Everyone has dreamed of backpacking his or her way across Europe right? Well three young backpackers find their way into a Slovakian city where they are told about a Hostel they can stay in cheap that is full of beautiful women who love Americans. The problem is that this Hostel is bait to lure in victims for rich men to enjoy killing and torturing in some really creative ways. So, still dreaming about that vacation? Eli Roth directed the film.

 

8. Friday the 13th

It seems like a great idea, a gig as a camp counselor at a summer camp for kids. There’s fun outside and a little time here and there for some hanky-panky. The problem is this is camp blood and someone wants revenge on every camp counselor that sets foot in this camp. This vacation gets bloody quick! Look for Kevin Bacon to get one of the better kills in the movie!

 

7. Total Recall

Doug (Arnold Schwarzenegger) hates his job and wants to change it but his wife (Sharon Stone) is against any change in their lives. Doug comes up with a compromise; he visits a company that implants vacations in the minds of their clients. He takes a trip to Mars as a secret agent. Then all Hell breaks loose! Was it a vacation or was it all in his head? You decide. The movie was loosely based on a story by Philip K. Dick.

 

6. An American Werewolf in London

A werewolf that the local townspeople refuse to admit exists attacks two American tourists in Britain. One of the Americans finds himself becoming a werewolf too. The film features some quirky humor but overall it’s a dark and melancholy story. The film was directed by John Landis but it’s more known for the breakthrough special fx of Rick Baker who crafted a signature werewolf transformation sequence.

 

5. The Shining

Working vacations can be great if you can make them happen. Jack and his family agree to babysit a mysterious hotel through the blizzard season while it’s closed. Jack will write and his wife and son will, well, find something to do. The problem is that the combination of a haunted hotel and the isolation gets to Jack and he gets a little testy. This vacation definitely does not end well. The film was directed by Stanley Kubrick and stars Jack Nicholson and Shelly Duvall.

 

4. Die Hard

Officer John McLane (Bruce Willis) leaves L.A. at Christmas to visit his estranged wife and kids in NYC for Christmas. It’s not a comfortable vacation to begin with but when criminals invade his wife’s office building and John has to fight them with no shoes on the trip can be considered a failure. Die Hard gave us one of the greatest one-liners in film history so at least something good came from that vacation. The film is directed by John McTiernan and was Willis’ first foray into action films.

 

3. Deliverance

A group of city dwellers set out on their annual vacation for some canoeing and fishing in the deep woods. The locals don’t really appreciate these outsiders in their space and when they come across a couple of brothers that are set out to have some fun with these city boys things go from bad to worse. The film stars Jon Voight, Burt Reynolds, and Ned Beatty in easily one of his most memorable roles ever.

 

2. National Lampoon’s Vacation

Clark (Chevy Chase) sets out on a cross-country trip to take his family to the Walley world theme park. Along the way there’s the death of a family member and a pet, pee sandwiches, lost money, a destroyed car, and tons more trouble. You have to admire Clark’s determination though. He refused to give up until he got his family to that park. The movie also stars Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, and Anthony Michael Hall.

 

1. Jaws

Everyone loves the beach so a vacation to a warm sunny climate and ocean breezes is just what the doctor ordered. There’s sand castles and swimming in the ocean until a hungry shark comes along and notices the buffet! Everyone’s summer vacation was cut short at best or they were shark dinner at worst. Director Stephen Spielberg changed the way people looked at the ocean for years after his movie came out. The film stars Roy Scheider and Richard Dreyfuss and features one of the most popular film scores ever recorded.

 

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 28
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johnwhitetoledo 3/22/2011 12:29:57 AM

Hostel is nine?  Shoot I'd rather have Bruce the Shark go Om Nom NOM! It was over quicker.

Johnnyathm1 3/22/2011 1:12:30 AM

Not exactly a vacation...Picture yourself waking up from hyper sleep, only to find that you are strapped down and immobile...and staring at the egg of a face-hugger less than a foot away. I consider that a bad day, vacation or not. You poor miner (maybe on vacation) in transit, you only had a chance to scream, before lights out...and that panic of suffocation as something is forced down your throat.

therockdltj 3/22/2011 3:29:31 AM

Don't forget about then waking back up and having a alien burst out of your stomach while your still alive . I would imagine that is some serious stomach pain!

GundamWingMan 3/22/2011 4:11:28 AM

Say, Stephen, I'm afraid you got it backwards on Die Hard. McLane leaves New York to visit his estranged wife in L.A. Tsk, tsk!

Darkknight2280 3/22/2011 4:14:44 AM

Im sorry but Ned Beaty had the worst vacation ever!! The guy got butt raped byt a mountain man hillbilly! How is that not #1 or #2? I think Butt rape is worse then a stressful family vacation to Wally World! #1 Hostel #2 Deliverance!! Torture and butt rape; cant get worse then that!

swtattoo21776 3/22/2011 4:52:24 AM

WRONG!!! In Die Hard McLane is a NYC police officer who goes to L.A. for vacation......bad bad bad.

stanandkylerule 3/22/2011 5:15:11 AM

Vacations are overrated. VACTIONS are where it's at!

DarkXid 3/22/2011 5:31:52 AM

Have you ever seen Die Hard???  And why is Hostel on this list, I mean if you're the one killing obnoxious oversexed hedonistic teenagers that sounds like an ideal vacation.  Have you got the number for that Hostel, cause I want me some eyeballs!

And why is vacation on this list.  I agree with someone else on this list.  Butt rape and they eye gouging killing thing (if you're the recipeint) is much worse than getting lost on the way to a theme park.

swtattoo21776 3/22/2011 5:35:34 AM

WRONG!!! In Die Hard McLane is a NYC police officer who goes to L.A. for vacation......bad bad bad.

jackwagon 3/22/2011 5:43:20 AM

I find it super hard to argue with any of the movies on this list, though I'd say Jurassic Park would belong on an Honorable Mention.  I don't know about you, but the concept of seeing live dinosaurs at a zoo sounds fun, but it's just bound to go horribly, horribly wrong.

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