10,000 B.C DVD Box(2008).
© Warner Home Video

Mania Grade: C-
DVD: 10,000 B.C
Rating: PG-13
Starring: Camilla Belle, Steven Strait, Cliff Curtis, Joel Virgel, Mo Zinal
Written By: Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser
Directed By: Roland Emmerich
Original Year of Release: 2008
Extras: alternate ending and deleted scenes

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10,000 B.C

A young warrior named D’Leh (Steven Strait) is on a quest to rescue his beloved Evolet (Camilla Belle) and lead his people into the next age. Evolet has been taken, along with many others, to a far off land to work as a slave for the Almighty (Tim Barlow). On his quest D’Leh learns to become a leader. He forms a lasting bond with his mentor Tic Tic (Cliff Curtis) and rallies others to his cause by bearing the mark of being the chosen one. 

10,000 B.C. is obviously not a new concept in storytelling. We see the same plot played out over and over. The hero is on a quest. He finds others with similar troubles then rallies all to vanquish their common enemy. The challenge is to find something that will bring a different twist to the story so we don’t all roll our eyes every fifteen minutes and shout out, “I saw that in such and such!”. Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto accomplishes this with its simple story about a man trying to save his family after witnessing the brutality of the world when he steps outside the safety of his surroundings. Gibson gives us camaraderie, a spectacular foot chase, a decadent civilization and a hint to where it (historically) all falls into place.   

10,000 B.C. really is a low brow, big budgeted, snore fest version of Apocalypto. It is a shame because there were a few moments where Roland Emmerich could have really given fans of his work, Stargate in particular, a great ride. D’Leh and his people strike a resemblance to those that Daniel Jackson (James Spader) and Col. O’Neil (Kurt Russell) found on the other side of the Stargate. Even the Almighty in 10,000 B.C. borea similar resemblance to Ra (Jaye Davidson). That at least would have been something to get excited about. To have the Almighty be more than what he was would have given the film a great twist. Instead, it ended with a bit of unrealistic mysticism and a hokey, love lorn smile fest. 

In the midst of it, I never thought the film was all bad. There are a few choice moments that stand out. Cliff Curtis shines in a brilliant scene with Steven Strait about what it means to be a leader and a hero. The saber tooth tiger moment in the pit is an incredible scene and every special effect is erased as the tension builds and the rain pounds on the actor and the creature. Ten minutes later though this scene is ruined when the saber tooth tiger re-emerges in broad daylight. The love story is also very believable. If only Strait and Belle could have played it out in a romantic comedy setting. If only they would have starred in Caveman 2.

The man to blame for this dull film has to be Ronald Emmerich. Stargate landed him his first success, both critically and commercially. It spawned a TV show and launched his career. After Stargate his films take a nose dive. Independence Day, though a box office success, taught many people that too much hype usually means a disappointing movie. The Patriot had a lot hype, was historically inaccurate and had two, then, heart throbs as leads. Yet, where is The Patriot now? The Day After Tomorrow was an incredible premise but it was over before it really got started. Stories about displaced American Citizens living in Mexico would have been great fiction. The world adapting to the new Ice Age and the balance of power changing, again would have made a better story than Dennis Quaid saving his son Jake Gyllenhaal. Then there is Emmerich’s take on Godzilla. Nothing else needs to be said. Who is giving Emmerich money to make films and how many more films like 10,000 B.C. have to litter the DVD bins?

There is nothing unique about this film to set it apart from the numerous “before recorded time” that have come before it. The only thing in the film that was exciting was the possibility that this could have been a prequel to Stargate. 10,000 B.C. was about has thrilling as a single scoop of vanilla ice cream.