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15 Worst Taglines in Horror Film History
The worst of the worst Horror Movie taglines.
By Tim Janson
October 27, 2010
Appearing on posters or in film trailers, movie taglines are designed to give film fans that one catchphrase that producer’s hope will stick in their memories. The best ones can go down in pop culture history and the worst ones can make a bad picture even more laughable. In honor of Halloween, we have put together our list of the 15 best and worst taglines in horror film history. We’ve culled 80 years of history to come up with our list. Yesterday, we showed you the cream of the crop. Today, we’ll give you the bottom of the barrel. Be sure to leave a comment on some of your best and worst picks as well.
15. SEE! Men Turned Into Zombies! SEE! Woman-Eating Cobra Plants! SEE! Strange Voodoo Rituals! SEE! The Bridge Of Death! Voodoo Island (1957)
See us use a lot of exclamation points to try and get you to see our crappy movie! On the plus side this film did have Boris Karloff in it. On the minus side, there was everything else…
14. Before your funeral...Before you are buried...Before you are covered with the last shovelful of dirt...Be sure you are really dead! Mortuary (1984)
Well hey that’s great advice but how about telling us SOMETHING about the film???
13. Don't miss this shock-crammed punch-packed double thriller-chiller terror program! King of the Zombies (1941)
This is a classic example of marketing over-indulgence. It says virtually nothing about the film and gives you not the slightest hint of what its about. Is it an action film? A horror? A thriller? In reality this snoozefest was those hypnotized zombies and not the flesh-eating ghouls we know and love today.
12. Rest in Beast! Werewolf (1996)
If you never saw this wretched 1996 werewolf film don’t worry…not many people did. The film is as horrible as its tagline pun is bad. If you’re going to for humor your film better be good, or so bad it’s funny.
11. The most amazing motion picture of our time! I was a Teenage Werewolf (1957)
This 1957 horror film launched the career of a young Michael Landon as the teenage werewolf of the title. But not only does the tagline tell you nothing about the film but it’s a ridiculously bold claim.
10. “Carrie" meets "Friday the 13th.” Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Sleepaway Camp is one of the most underrated slasher films on the 1980s. However you simply don’t want to compare your film to other films in your tagline, especially two classics of the genre. It smacks of desperation and is fairly inaccurate, especially the comparison to Carrie.
9. She Gives You that Weird Feeling. Dracula’s Daughter (1936)
Weird? Like what? Like you just ate bad chili? Like you realized you left the house with the sink running? Like the guy with the cross eyes staring at you from across the room? This 1936 film was the sequel to the 1931 horror classic Dracula.
8. The film that will satisfy every over-sexagesimal adult! Orgy of the Dead (1965)
This is yet another “classic” film from Ed Wood, one of the best, worst directors of all time. What in the hell is “Sexagesimal”? I looked it up, it’s a real word whose meaning is “pertaining to or based upon the number 60.” So the tagline means it will satisfy adults over 60? I tend to believe they thought this word had another meaning.
7. He’ll Sleigh You! Christmas Evil (1980)
Now there have been a number of Christmas-themed horror films where the word “Sleigh” is replaced with “Slay”. Okay, it’s a bad pun but we get it. But here they use the word Sleigh…which means what? Santa’s going to run his sled roughshod over us? On the plus side, this Santa slasher actually predates the Silent Night Deadly Night series by several years.
6. They were born that tragic moment when science made its great mistake... now from behind the shroud of night they come, a scuttling, shambling horde of creatures destroying all in their path. Night of the Lepus (1972)
First off this tagline is WAY too long. No one is going to remember this thing. Secondly, as ominous as it sounds it is laughable when you find out the film is about giant, killer rabbits. That’s right! Giant Mutant Bunnies!
5. Based on a True Story The Amityville Horror (2005)
A lot of films claim to be based on a true story, which is pointedly meaningless. “Based” doesn’t mean it’s portraying the actual events. The Amityville Horror is one of the most egregious abusers of the “based on a true story” assertion in history, as most of the claims made by the Lutz family have been refuted. Those that owned the house after the Lutz’s never had a problem and today it’s widely believed to have been a hoax.
4. Not to be Confused with King Kong! APE (1976)
No, we would NOT want to confuse this Korean film about a giant ape that escapes and comes ashore destroying buildings and kidnapping a actress before being killed by the military with King Kong. Not hard to do at all considering this film makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like an Academy Award winner.
3. A screamin' demon rages inside, turnin' him into Mr. Hyde... don't give him no sass or he'll kick yo' ass! Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde (1976)
Ah yes…there is nothing better than some good ol’ fashion 1970’s racial stereotyping. This was the Blaxploitation version of Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel that starred Bernie Casey as the doctor that transforms into a monster who kills pimps and prostitutes. Seriously people, I can’t make this stuff up!
2. As the screen's greatest shock star Bela Lugosi is back to haunt the Earth in a terrifying revelation of things to come! Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958)
Not only is this regarded as one of the worst films of all time but it also has one of the worst taglines. Why? Well “star” Bela Lugosi died TWO years before the film came out. Director Ed Wood used some old stock footage he had shot of Lugosi a few years earlier for another film.
1. Not For Sissies! The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies (1964)
Okay, seriously, with a title like this, do you really need a tagline? The title (the longest title in history at the time) pretty much says it all but the producers still came up with the brilliant “not for sissies.” As if anything that was billed as the first “monster musical” was going to scare anyone to begin with…