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20 Most Loathsome Star Wars Figures

Sentences delegated to all!

By Robert T. Trate     January 06, 2012
Source: Mania.com


20 Most Loathsome Star Wars Figures
© Lucasfilm/ Disney
With the return of Star Wars the Clone Wars tonight on Cartoon Network, the Toy Maniac wants to discuss his favorite toy line, Star Wars. Now in all fairness to the flowing scrapes of plastic, they weren’t all given a fair chance. There are by far way cooler Star Wars figures and characters out there that shine better than these. Many of these figures, Dengar in particular, have even had better versions produced. Each figure on the list is analyzed by design, character, and portrayal. Anything and everything is taken into consideration to place a figure on our 20 Most Loathsome Star Wars Figures list.
 
20. Emperor’s Royal Guard (1997)
Emperor’s Royal Guard
Charges: The original figure is better.
Exhibit A: No feet to stand on, literally.
Sentence: To be repainted and made into a Black Hole figure.  
 
19. Jedi Luke Skywalker Theater Edition (1997)
Jedi Luke Skywalker Theater Edition
Charges: Being too limited and not handed out properly.
Exhibit A: The lecherous old man that offered the 8 year old in front of me $40 for his. 
Sentence: To lose your luster for all time.
 
18. Anakin Skywalker (Tatootine) Phantom Menace (1999)
Anakin Skywalker (Tatootine) Phantom Menace
Charges: For reducing the great Darth Vader to whiney kid who said “yippee” and “wizard”.
Exhibit A: This figure is the first of several lame figures of Jake Lloyd. The next few figures come with different accessories, that’s all. 
Sentence: To be buried in the sand and forgotten. 
 
17. R5-D4 (1996)
R5-D4
Charges: For a character that only blew his top in the first movie he barely deserves a figure. 
Exhibit A: For having weapons added to his hull. 
Sentence: To be sold into a group lot sale at your local flea market (minus the rocket of course). 
 
16. Dengar (1981)
Dengar
Charges: Being incredibly lame. 
Exhibit A: He looks as if he was a broken Stormtrooper dressed as the Mummy for a Halloween party. 
Sentence: To only be played with by the goofy cousin who didn’t know any better.
 
15. Prune Face (1984)
Prune Face
Charges: For only having a few frames of screen time. 
Exhibit A: He is dressed for Endor but never turns up during the fighting.
Sentence: To have his identity questioned as either a Battlestar Galactica or Buck Rogers figure.
 
14. Snaggletooth (1979)
Snaggletooth
Charges: You aren’t the Blue one. 
Exhibit A: This was the run of the mill Snaggletooth figure. The Sears exclusive is way cooler. 
Sentence: Your gun will be taken away and given to a much cooler figure. Now stand in the background for atmosphere. 
 
13. R3-T7 Power of the Jedi Sneak Peak Attack of the Clones (2002)
R3-T7 Power of the Jedi
Charges: For being the lamest of all the sneak preview figures. 
Exhibit A: Who cares about a background Droid?
Sentence: To be taped to the back of another figure and sold as a two pack at Wal-Mart.
 
12. Jar Jar Binks (Tatootine) Power of the Jedi (2001)
Jar Jar Binks (Tatootine)
Charges: For being an even dumber version of a character we only ever needed one of. 
Exhibit A: The tongue. Did kids really want recreate that scene?
Sentence: To be incased in plastic forever and never know the joys of being played with. 
 
11. Han Solo Power of the Force (1995)
Han Solo Power of the Force
Charges: Those shoulders and his inability to ride in the cockpit of his own ship. 
Exhibit A: The first Han Solo figures in year and he looks as if he is on steroids. 
Sentence: To be stuck outside your own ship and watch it fly away without you. 
 
10. Luke Skywalker Power of the Force (1995)
Luke Skywalker Power of the Force
Charges: For looking like Mark Hamill after the accident even though the character’s costume is before the accident. 
Exhibit A: The face and the Ceremonial Luke figure which got it right. 
Sentence: To be discarded to a shoe box and live out your final days in darkness. 
 
9. Super Battle Droid Attack of the Clones (2002)
Super Battle Droid Attack of the Clones
Charges: It does not have the ability to stand (the picture is an optical illusion). 
Exhibit A: Simple physics, as this figure is too top heavy. 
Sentence: To forever be the first to fall in an attack.
 
8. Anakin Skywalker (Hanger Duel) Attack of the Clones (2002)
Anakin Skywalker (Hanger Duel)
Charges: For being an incredible figure that cannot hold his lightsaber. 
Exhibit A: The missing arm and lame magnet gimmick. 
Sentence: To be placed under a magnifying glass and melted into the sidewalk. 
 
7. C-3PO with Battle Droid Head Attack of the Clones (2006)
C-3PO with Battle Droid Head
Charges: Unnecessary humor during an epic battle. 
Exhibit A: The Battle Droid Head. 
Sentence: To have no place in the Republic or the Trade Federation. 
 
6. Jango Fett (Final Battle) Attack of the Clones (2002)
Jango Fett (Final Battle)
Charges: For having the weakest magnet in the world placed between your shoulders. 
Exhibit A: The now headless figure.  
Sentence: Permanently headless for all time as the dog ate the head.
 
5. Holiday Darth Vader (2005)
Holiday Darth Vader
Charges: Being a villain and attempting holiday cheer.
Exhibit A: Having been painted red and packaged with a holiday cheer.
Sentence: To only be removed from storage for one month of the year. 
 
4. Anakin Skywalker (Lightsaber Attack) Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Anakin Skywalker (Lightsaber Attack)
Charges: For being the one figure we always wanted (Anakin pre-Vader) and not living up to the dream. 
Exhibit A: The bad mullet and poor sculpt. 
Sentence: To have your remaining arm severed and both your legs lopped off. 
 
3. Darth Vader (Rebuild Vader) Revenge of the Sith (2005)
Darth Vader (Rebuild Vader)
Charges: Recreating the worst moment in Star Wars history. 
Exhibit A: The burnt potato head. 
Sentence: To sit on the shelf at comic book convention and have no one buy you. 
 
2. WA-7 (Dexter's Diner) Attack of the Clones (2003)
WA-7 (Dexter's Diner)
Charges: For saying the words “Jawa Juice”.
Exhibit A: This is actually the figure of a waitress robot, not kidding. 
Sentence: To sit in the storage locker of a collector and never know the touch of a human child. 
 
1. Yarna D’al Gargan Legacy Edition (2008)
Yarna D’al Gargan
Charges: For dancing poorly and making Jabba look pretty.
Exhibit A: Looking like Mrs. Potato Head. 
Sentence: Making the number one spot on the 20 Most Loathsome Star Wars Figures.

Check out Robert’s “Top 100 Star Wars Figures” here on Mania. Special thanks for Rebelscum.com for having the most comprehensive list of Star Wars figures on the Internet. 

Robert Trate writes three weekly columns for Mania: the DVD Shopping Bag, the Toy Maniac, and The Geek Life. Follow Robert on Twitter for his for Geek ramblings, Cosplay photos and film criticisms.

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 8 of 8
1 
noahbody 1/6/2012 8:42:18 AM

Clone troopers... for just being repaint money grabs.

Monkey Face Leia from the original POTF

renderman72 1/6/2012 11:08:51 AM

um yeah it's JAVA JUICE not JAWA JUICE dude.

monkeyfoot 1/6/2012 12:30:45 PM

Why can't it be JAWA JUICE? Who knows what tangy sweet goodness can be squeezed out of one of those little fellas?

themovielord 1/6/2012 1:06:34 PM

I heard Jawa Juice

SarcasticCaveman 1/6/2012 2:08:24 PM

 Apparently it is Jawa Juice...ugh...Jawa Juice is actually a nickname for an alcoholic beverage called Ardees...damn, Obi Wan drinks on the job!  Sorry, renderman, I wanted to be with you on this one, but this info comes from Wookiepedia.

mosgza 1/6/2012 2:14:50 PM

Every one of those damn 'action posed' Jedi from the Attack of the Clones line could have made this list.  Rubbish!

Fun article.  Thanks for reminding me of the money I've wasted over the years.

Wyldstaar 1/6/2012 3:45:01 PM

I'm so glad I stopped buying SW figures.  For a while there, I was getting every one of them.  Once I began to have trouble getting them all, I just quit.  I have an all or nothing mentality on that sort of thing.  Sadly, I did have a number of these figures, including most of the POTF line.  I prefered to think of the POTF Luke figure as being the movie poster version of the character, since the Hildebrandts gave him a broad chest with an open shirt as well.  I didn't mind the face so much.  Back then, almost nobody made 3 3/4" figures with faces that looked like the actors.  They were certainly better looking than the figures from the 70s and 80s.

demonfire 1/8/2012 4:04:07 PM

nice list glad i am not  the only one who felt both the pof the force han and luke got screwed up Han for not being albe to fit into the falcon and Luke for his big  new look the jake figure should also add creepy for collectors winding up buying a little kid. jango with removable head talk about a way to put kids into thearapy. Jar jar should have been number one for not only getting a figure but existing. as for Yarna true her head looks like a potoe but she does hold the history of almost being one of the last star wars figures made for the original line before it died plus she is the star wars universe own  lovely hooker.

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