
If a tree falls over in the woods, does it make a sound? If you pen a story and no one's around to read it, are you still a writer? If you plot a manga or an anime and no one sees it, isn't it, y'know, better that way?
With the rise of the Internet and its ability to connect like-minded people, "Fans" has become a four-letter word. People have always shrieked over rock stars or Star Trek. But until the Internet really herded everyone together, anime and manga fans were a scattered, nomadic bunch who sustained themselves by pawing through sale boxes at small gatherings and cons.
Now there are countless websites, mailing groups, message boards, and chat rooms dedicated to all things otaku. This is excellent in one respect: it's a great way for a fan to access the material he wants, and the eased means of communication makes life easier for manga artists and writers. On the other hand, said message boards breed blind fans like a damp jar breeds bacteria. The "fandom" surrounding a popular series might surround it like a moat of piranhas and discourage newcomers from coming over. It's not uncommon to hear, "I'm curious about anime X, but the fans scare me away." Or more unfortunate, "Anime X must be overrated. The fandom is stupid, so there's no way anyone intelligent could be bothered with it."
There are certainly artists and writers who lock themselves in squalor to purge their demons, burn the canvas and start over, but many creative types do like to share their work and interact with the people who enjoy it. Simply put, artists need a fandom because they like to express themselves to an audience, and fans obviously need something to "fan" about. Is there a happy medium?
Probably not. Certain demographics hover around specific series, and as the fandom gets larger, it gets louder. It's admittedly kind of fun to be loud and brash when the time calls for it, when it's time to cosplay or run around Otakon yelling slogans and waving signs, but the remaining 362 days of the year call for Quiet Shut Up time. There should be an agreement all new inductees to the anime fandom must sign: Do Not Scare the Outsiders.
If your co-worker asks you about your Inuyasha pin, by all means mention its origin. If he then wishes to know more about the anime itself, you might be on your way to making a new friend. Go slowly and be gentle. Do not gush; remember to swallow and breathe occasionally. Do not summarise every plot of every episode; you'll both die before you're finished. You don't build up a fire by peeing on the spark.
In the same vein, anime pins are cool to wear to work unless you work under a militant dress code, but wearing the same Evangelion shirt for a month is uncool.
While most anime fans have the sense to practise basic hygiene and do quite well with civilised conversation in the workplace, the same can't always be said for message boards, which are usually as calm and organised as a house fire. One of the saddest things we humans do is divide ourselves in times of strife; not only will Side A fight against Side B, but Side A might further divide into people who like puffy pants versus those who don't, etc. The same trend can be witnessed when anime fans get to talking about how the original Dragon Ball is classic, but Dragon Ball Z is for hyper little boys and has ruined the series / fandom entirely.
It's not just the differing opinions that can ruin the atmosphere. Every message board has at least one "Comic Book Guy," the snarky shut-in who never misses an opportunity to out-wit the 13-year-old n00b who loves netspeak and wants to know "wat goku's power level iz." There's the person who doesn't know how to use the board's "Search" function (or Google) to find out what number Pikachu is on the Pokemon roster, and then there's everyone else who jumps on him for not knowing.
It's a sad testament to the state of humanity. Let's face it, most of us probably weren't the Homecoming Queen in high school and the Internet allowed our shy, pathetic selves to interact with other shy people on topics we actually like. Why fly at each other's throats? Because that's the way we're built, apparently. And because of fandom. It's like a dark magic that brings out the odd bits of our personality.
So how do you act as a good steward or stewardess to your fandom? Simply by not being a jackass. When interacting with other members of your species, set an example. Be courteous, even if you don't agree with someone's opinion. Use proper grammar and punctuation--you are not e.e. cummings. If you do get into a tiff with another member, don't try and end the fight by saying, "Unlike you, I have a life and no time for this conversation." No one in the history of the world has ever successfully left that as their last word, because anyone who's taken the time to get into an argument about Full Metal Alchemist in the first place probably isn't burning up Wall Street in the daylight hours.