To quote JC...

“Whatever the public blames you for, cultivate it; it is yourself”

Ah, so that's what I'm doing wrong - I should be cultivating the nutcases instead of trying to rid my life of them!

How are The Mice? We needed you to translate for us last week, but I couldn't find you so I had to go straight to The Termites. They've explained to Mania's techie how to re-program the site to accept Newton Coordinates, so we're in synch now. 

A Secret Squirrel may gather some Nuts along the way, but it is the hidden Acorns that are to be truly valued.

Aha! The fabled Termites now there's an idea. I suspect that they are proving useful with their taste for number crunching.

I had better find my magnifying glass and stethoscope so that I can track down a suitable colony.

As for the Mice, they are still tucked away in their underground multiverse but I do still hear their scampering little feet in the dark of night...

Mort, please be very careful if you use your magnifying glass with the Termites.  They are very sensitive and once they were very badly hurt by inquiring scientist.  They went up in smoke.  I have heard that they burn at 160 degrees C!  Anyhow, hope you had great Christmas and that there were plenty of left-overs for your four-legged friends...  As for me, because acorn-hunting is major hobby in Caucasus region, I shall be out hunting on what you call Boxing Day. Privyet!

Kam

Yes, the hidden Acorns are even rarer than the Newtons...

In the meantime, a convenient colony of Termites currently resides in my family's old Victorian sideboard in the Library, and can be coaxed out in an emergency. Therefore, I don't need to use a magnifying glass, I just talk into the holes... which explains why I can sometimes be found sitting on the floor arguing with a piece of furniture!

 Who tends to win the arguments?

The furniture always wins, of course... because it is inhabited by The Termites, who are one degree smarter than I am!