5 Reasons Why GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra Will Suck Comments - Mania.com


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shadowprime 8/5/2009 5:46:57 AM


I am withholding judgment until I SEE the movie (radical idea, I know!)... it may well stink. OR it may be silly fun (no offense, but I don't see anything wrong with that - know that idea sets some folks' teeth on edge!).

I do find it a bit tiresome that, in 2009, it is apparently not PC, or not acceptable, to have GI JOE be "a real American hero". Whether a purely pragmatic cave to worries over international box office, or a more political move, the JOEs are no longer an America team, but an "international" blah blah blah UN blah blah blah PC group of ..er.. can we say soldiers? Note that even the JOE logos (at least the ones I have seen) have carefully purged the Red White and Blue colors used in earlier incarnataions.

Will that stop me from seeing the movie? Nah. Tiresome? Yeah.


Darkknight2280 8/5/2009 6:07:27 AM

I wa sjust reading on yahoo that latino review and aint it cool news gave it possitive reviews. Both said it was better then transformers (i know many of you are thingkin ghtat isnt saying much) But i know many many many people who enjoyed it. $400 million worth in the USA.! I think this movie will be fun to watch and be at least just as good (in my eyes) as transformers.

But i am WAYYY more excited for District 9 and Basterds!

Darkknight2280 8/5/2009 6:10:03 AM

yeah alot of peeps on here are very judgemental of movies that havent even been released yet...lol I find it funny.

hanso 8/5/2009 6:13:02 AM

Let me bring in a comment I left for Wiseguy.

Those reviews and that score on Rotten Tomatoes are bullshit.  Example of a positive review for JOE:

"And in spite of many misgivings, including ropey CGI, convoluted storytelling and a smattering of horribly over-the-top performances, G.I. Joe is a blast from start-to-finish."

How the fuck is that a good review!? Every single review is giving the film a pass and looking the other way with the flaws. It's like, sure the kid is a mental midget, can't speak correctly and pees on himself but hey he can write his name real pretty. What I find perplexing is that critics didn't give Transformers 2 a pass.

What's sad is people will turn out for JOE but then what looks like an original film opening a week later like District 9 will probably not get a turnout since it's different, set in South Africa, low budget, unknown cast and unknown director. Then the same people that paid for JOE but skipped District 9 will complain about the shit Hollywood keeps pumping out, or the remakes, reboots, needless sequels. Well no shit they keep making those films, the fucking masses keep saying it's ok by giving them their money.

ponyboy76 8/5/2009 6:19:48 AM

  To me this article is more like a "5 ways GI:JOE could have been done better" I said from jump street that I was not high on my expectations for this movie. The trailers to most movies like this leave me with an excited feeling."The goosebump phenomena". These trailers left me cold, thinking "WTF?" I don't know why they did, but they did. It might be the suits or the fact that Marlon Wayans has only been in one movie where he wasn't a total asshat. God knows why they picked Ripcord and Heavy Duty, considering Road Block was the most noticeable and popular black GI:JOE in the cartoons, but whatever.
  I'm probably going to see it this weekend and maybe I'll be proved wrong. Maybe it won't suck and maybe it will be a steaming elephant turd. I guess we will see. I`m just looking forward to Snake Eyes v Storm Shadow.

ponyboy76 8/5/2009 6:22:06 AM

Just think Hanso, in November/December all will be right with the world when Avatar comes out!


hanso 8/5/2009 6:39:55 AM

Yes it will Ponyboy, yes it will :)

Check this, people making excuses for the film because of the cartoon. God forbid that after 20 some years someone took the time to better the source material. I mean, how insane is that!? If it was crap then, keep at a crap level now cause people will still pay for it.

Sure, there are comics that people say are way better than the 80s cartoon but screw that, don't use that for the movie. Pick the worst out of the two. Or how bout still in cartoon form, someone made it more mature with GI JOE Resolute? Is that better than the original cartoon? Yes? Well then don't use it for the movie, pick the shit instead.

It's like someone setting out to make a Batman movie and then picking from the 60s comics or Adam West show and ending up with something along the lines of Batman & Robin when they could've gone with some 80s comics and ended up with The Dark Knight.

TheSleeper 8/5/2009 6:39:57 AM

I liked the line in the article about how geeks always shout, "What'd you expect?  Shakespeare?" whenever they enthusiastically endorse something they probably shouldn't.  Too, too, true.

But yeah, this movie's going to suck.

ponyboy76 8/5/2009 6:51:33 AM

The thing is, pointing out what we think should have been in it or who, just sound slike fan boy wish fulfilment, but its also accurate. Hanso is definitely right, because they could have done so much better with the so many different pieces of source material but they decided to go with the lowest common denominator. No, I don't expect Shakespeare but I do expect some quality. And that dude Hama, must have either gotten a boat load of cash to not only endorse the film but to give it high praise or he has just been waiting so long for someone to do a GIJOE movie that he figures its just better than nothing.

Matador 8/5/2009 6:52:13 AM

Yes GI Joe cartoon was cool back in the day and cheesy at times guess what it was the 80s and most of grew up in that time period. Sucks to be the kids that grew up in the 90s they had crap cartoons. And if anyone has even bothered to check out GI Joe Resolution will find out that it can be turned serious. It was allot more closer to the comic books as well. Yeah it sucked to have seen Bazooka dead but hey most of the Joe's died in the books as well thats part of the reality of being a soldier.

It is possible to create a fun action serious GI Joe flick they just happened to use a shitty director. And I'm tired of Hollowood trashing as well as the directors mucking every fanboy's dreams and guess what we give them the money to do it too. I don't know about you but I was serously pissed off with Dragonball and Streetfighter movie this year. Fuck no do I want to spend money on every pile of shit movie that Hollywood thinks will sell this to the dumb masses. Well kudos for the masses becuase you just opened the flood gates for more cluster fuck flaming shit at our theaters.

So you all have fun with this piece of crap Sommers is selling you this summer I'm sticking my hard earned cash some where else. By the way GI Joe Resolution was written by Warren Ellis hope they sell that on Blue-Ray soon too cause that's where my money going!

Peace out!


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