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5 Reasons Why Rob Zombie Must Be Stopped

A Plea to Halloween 2 Director Rob Zombie

By Matt Hoffman     August 28, 2009


5 Reasons Why Rob Zombie Must Be Stopped
© Bob Trate

Musician-turned-filmmaker Rob Zombie certainly has his fans, but he’s always had his detractors as well. From the release of his first feature, 2003’s House of 1000 Corpses, to this summer’s premiere of his Halloween II, Zombie has been taken to task by many critics for his graphic depictions of sex and violence. Personally, we love graphic depictions of sex and violence, so we’d rather focus on other, more important reasons why Zombie needs to have his directing license revoked. Namely:
 

5. Nepotism

 Blood is thicker than water, and a quick search of IMDb will show that this proverb’s spirit is alive and well in Hollywood. Director Ron Howard often casts his brother Clint in his films, and comedy mogul Judd Apatow consistently gives roles to his wife, Leslie Mann and their children. So why should we blink when Rob Zombie’s wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, shows up prominently in all her husband’s movies?
 
Well, for one thing, Clint and Leslie both have acting careers outside of their familial relationships. Ms. Zombie, on the other hand, has only appeared in one movie not directed by her husband (2003’s Toolbox Murders), and has stated that she never “actively pursued” a showbiz profession. It seems that for the Zombies, filmmaking is kind of a fun couples’ activity, like yoga or pottery-making.
 
Still, Mr. Zombie makes quite an effort to keep his wife onscreen. You might think that the death of her character in Zombie’s Halloween would preclude her involvement in the sequel, but Halloween II’s previews reveal that she’ll return as some sort of ghost or hallucination. So when the posters proclaim that “Family Is Forever,” they aren’t just referring to the Myers clan.
 

4. Narcissism

Rob Zombie is a shaggy guy, and hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve got no beef with his long, scraggly hair and big ol’ beard; that’s his style, and it works for him. However, sometimes his fashion tastes become way too prominent in his films.

This problem began innocuously enough. It was okay for characters in House of 1000 Corpses or The Devil’s Rejects to have hippie manes and untamed facial hair because those films were based around an exaggerated ‘70s/hillbilly aesthetic. Zombie’s Halloween, however, takes things to the extreme. The new Michael Myers for some reason has the hair of an ‘80s metal guitarist, and so does every single one of the main girls’ boyfriends (as well as Michael’s dad, for that matter). We’re surprised Dr. Loomis wasn’t sporting dreadlocks. Was Zombie living vicariously through his characters, or is he just unaware that other hairstyles exist? Either way, dudes with crew cuts have to be feeling left out.
 

3. Releasing Halloween in August

Okay, so Zombie didn’t start this trend. Halloween movies have premiered in the summer ever since 1998, when Halloween H20 opened on August 5 and went on to earn huge profits. Still, a series reboot would’ve been the perfect time to return to an October release date, and Zombie’s film missed out on that opportunity.
 
There are probably two main reasons for this. The first is the previously-mentioned financial success of Halloween H20, and the second is the Saw series’ dominance over October ticket sales (which could also be the reason why Trick ‘R Treat never got a theatrical release). All we can say is that if you’re not sure your Halloween movie can beat one of the Saw sequels, it might be time to go back to the drawing board.
 
 

2. Being Unclear on the Whole “Remake” Concept

No, Zombie’s Halloween isn’t a terrible movie. Yes, it does have some effective parts, but those are the parts which are furthest from the intent of the original film. The remake has a completely different story structure and, more importantly, a significantly altered view of Michael Myers. In response to fans who were offended by these changes, Zombie has stated, “I don’t think it’s sacrilege. I think what is sacrilege is all of the shitty sequels. I mean… Is that what they want more of?
 
Well, in a word, yes! Of course we wanted to see the same thing over again; that’s why we bought tickets to a remake. When a movie poster shows the name “Halloween” under a picture of Michael Myers, it’s not saying, “You’ll like this because it’s something totally new that you’ve never seen before.” Rather, it’s blatantly appealing to brand loyalty: “You’ll like this because it’s exactly like that other thing you already know you like.” If Zombie really thought we wanted to see an original story, he’d have written one, and given it its own title. But, as Zombie well knows, original horror movies don’t pay as well these days—that is, if they even get released at all. So he tried to have it both ways: He cashed Dimension Films’ check, split his movie between intriguing new ideas and clumsy imitation, and then disingenuously presented himself as a staunch defender of originality in storytelling.
 
And, to quote one of the taglines for the original Halloween II, the nightmare isn’t over…
 
 

1. He Could Strike Again

In a move which should surprise no one, Dimension Films (the company that released Zombie’s Halloween) has acquired the rights to remake John Landis’s 1981 movie An American Werewolf in London.[
 
We don’t have any evidence that Zombie would be the first choice to direct this project, but he’d probably be a main contender, given that his last remake made plenty of money. Don’t be surprised if a preview shows up featuring a bearded werewolf, a hard rock soundtrack and Sheri Moon Zombie. After all, if there’s one thing Hollywood knows how to do, it’s repeat itself.
 
 
 
 
 
 
***************************************************************************************************************
 
Matt Hoffman grew up in Connecticut and is currently studying film and international relations in Boston.  He contributes regularly to the blog Pegleg Spinners.

 

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 47
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MrJawbreakingEquilibrium 8/28/2009 2:36:52 AM

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch...

Whine, whine, whine, whine, whine...

Stupid reason after stupid reason after stupid reason after stupid reason.

First of all - so what she didn't actively pursue an acting career?  She is one now.  She's an actress.  I think three or four movies would entitle you that role.  She isn't too bad either; there has been worse.  And nepotism runs thick in Hollywood - I don't see you bitching about Coppolla stopping making movies because of Nicolas Cage, who aside from a few movies is a horrible actor.  But I guess it's okay since he 'pursued' acting.  Whatever that means or has to do with anything.

Second of all - Narcissism?  Really?  Has is having all the characters in the film look alike narcissistic.  These fools hang out together.  I don't know where you're from but people that hang out together usually have similar qualities and those qualities certainly are determined by the era they are taking place in.  Do you know what narcissistic means?  And if you're going to blame him for being narcissistic - well, blame almost everybody in Hollywood.  Hell, have everyone there stop working now, DAMNIT,  Right this minute!

Third of all - So what it's in August and not October? It doesn't make the movie any better or worst.  Oh, it does make it better...I get to see it earlier.  But it still doesn't change the film.  Is October going to make me more susceptible to scare?  And to top it all of it's probably not even his decision.  You ever hear of this thing called a studio?  Yeah, they make those decisions for him.  LIke  how to edit the trailers , which he hated and a lot of other things you should know - you're the "journalist".

Fourth of all - You really want a shot for shot remake?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Then what would be the point of making another movie?  Have you seen Van Sant's Psycho?   I bet you bitched about that movie.  But it was shot for shot of it except for the jacking part - you know what I mean.  Nobody liked that movie.  And if you knew anything he had to keep much of it the same because of the studio's pandering but he did make enough changes to make it his own and he did a fantastic job.   Fuck the haters.  They were born with a cock up their ass.  Oh, did I mean stick?

Fifth of all - He should be stopped because of your stupid speculation that has no basis in fact at all?  First of all he said he is through with remakes and he only did the first period so that they could see what he's made of and allow him to more of his own stuff with a higher budget.  I know you read the same articles as me and if you don't well you should probably do more research before you open up your fat fingers.  See what I did there?  Fingers...ha ha.  Big fat orange Cheeto dust fingers. 

I dunno.  That's just my opinion.  At least mine are reasonable.

Bmfstunner 8/28/2009 4:02:07 AM

I agree, he's like the Uwe Boll of Horror films.

Chopsaki 8/28/2009 4:06:37 AM

I'm no Rob Zombie fan but I thought he did a solid job on Halloween (John Carpenter is still the man) and who dosn't love his faux trailer for "Werewolf Women of the S.S".

You do have some valid criticisms though I must say the one about narcissism was a bit of a stretch. It's quite an extrapolation to say that liking the aesthetics of long hair is an obvious play on self admiration. You did find a great picture though to reinforce your point. :)

Rob Zombie has clearly found a niche making horror movies. Though Im wondering if he has decided to branch out because the plot for his next movie didn't sound like a horror movie per se.

Tyrannosaurus Rex: A 1970s-set story of an ex-con boxer with self-tendencies who gets caught up in an underground fight ring.

It is set in the 70's though so that will explain the long hair. But I'm sure you can guess who is already cast in it. :)

 

Darkknight2280 8/28/2009 5:01:33 AM

Um Stunner..he is FARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SO FARRRRRRR from Uwe Boll. they dont even exsist on the same planet of movie making. His movies arent horrible and i enjoyed the halloween remake/reimagining and i plan on going to see Halloween II tonight. Now i will say i am not happy with the appearance of Michael Myers in this sequel (from the shots i have seen in ther trailers), not liking the hoodie and torn mask look. But thats minor and i will get over it. 

Darkknight2280 8/28/2009 5:08:54 AM

The reason Sheri Moon Zombie is his films is because she is SMOKIN HOT!! Sure her acting ability isnt that great compared to most actresses. But she is hot and she is banging the director who happens to be her husband too.. so she has those things going for her :) She was soo dirty hot in House of 1000 corpses..yum!

Rotciv 8/28/2009 5:39:43 AM

LOL MrJawbreakingEquilibrium , your points are very vailid and i agree completely on your points the author not so much just a bunch of nitpicking observations that hold no water.

CardinalSin 8/28/2009 6:20:41 AM

I don't understand the hate?  House of a 1000 Corpses is in my top 5 favorite horrors.  Zombies Halloween was great.  I look forward to seeing Halloween 2 and Sheri Moons sweet, sweet ass once again.  Dam the haters  and the dude that put together this article/blog.

ponyboy76 8/28/2009 6:21:53 AM

There have been some really useless, put to together at the last minute articles on this site but this one is pretty bad. Pretty much every reason you have up there to stop Rob Zombie from directing could be used for more than half the big name directors working in the business. Narcissism? Have you ever heard of Micheal Bay? And you already mentioned Ron Howard, and you can add Sam Raimi and a few others to the list of nepotistic directors, but so what? Those are the perks of being the guy in charge. This was just an extremely lame article
FAIL!

And Rob Zombie is Mozart compared to Uwe Boll who is more reminiscient of a retarded, blind  monkey banging his head on a piano.

johnnykricardo 8/28/2009 6:25:52 AM

My problem with Zombie is that he's just become the symbol of the 80's horror remake trend. I find it really sad. His own movies were entertaining, they had some interesting ideas.  Halloween was OK, but it wasn't meant to happen.  The only thing left of the style he had is the white trash superficial fashion.

I'd rather see the full movie of WWW of the SS with Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu than yet another sequel or remake.

scytheofluna 8/28/2009 6:52:20 AM

Gee the most obvious reason is that he was actually a pretty great musical performer, and since his turn as a mediocre filmmaker he hasn't made any good music.  White Zombie was one of the greatest metal/industrial outfits of all time, and now he's wasting his time with this crap.  I House of a thousand yawns, and aside from Zombie's trademark visual style, I just didn't see any reason to come back for more.  I still listen to La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1 and Astrocreep 2000 from time to time.   In the end I hope he's remembered for that, and not these cinematic abortions.

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