5 Worst Japanese Monster Movies of all time - Mania.com



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5 Worst Japanese Monster Movies of all time

By Dirk Sonniksen     March 19, 2010


5 Worst Japanese Monster Movies of all time
© Mania/Bob Trate

 

 
Today we pay homage to some of the most ridiculous Japanese movie monsters ever. These creatures are complete abominations not only for their hilarious appearance, but for the sheer overkill of weaponry and insane acrobatic skills many of them possess. Although this list could possibly go on forever, we have chosen five of our favorite lame monsters for your enjoyment.
 
 

5. Mothra

While Mothra is one of the more popular Japanese monsters, it doesn’t excuse it from being really lame. Mothra is a female moth (although Mothra Leo is apparently a boy moth) that can be a really sweet giant moth when protecting the folks on Infant Island, or she can be a super kick-ass destructive moth, often battling Godzilla (her on-again-off-again friend) or other ridiculous monsters like Gigan (we’ll get to him later). Besting Mothra will do no good as her larvae will ultimately hatch, thus bringing about a brand new Mothra and another monster film.
 
Mothra makes the list mainly for her appearance. Mothra resembles a huge stuffed animal flying through the sky, a kind of moth/butterfly hybrid that induces more laughter than horror. Mothra does have a lot of destructive power, the most humorous being her ability to destroy buildings with the gusts of wind created by her cute, mammoth, butterfly wings. Mothra also has the distinction of being the best pick for an Olympic mascot.
 

4. Gigan

Gigan appears to be an extremely ambitious inbreeding experiment gone terribly wrong. He’s a combo lizard-bird-robot thing and has the ability to fly super-fast, sometimes at mach speed. Gigan sports strange hooked-claw things as hands, appendages that seem highly problematic for anything other than tearing Godzilla a new one, which Gigan has been known to do. In addition, Gigan has a chainsaw built into his belly that also proves a very formidable weapon.
 
Gigan gets a lame nod mainly for the overabundance of crap he is outfitted with and his completely stupid appearance. This interstellar monster’s arsenal includes grappling hooks, razor discs, eye beams, explosive charges, and antigravity flight, just to name a few. It’s no wonder this freak of nature has been known to kick the crap out of Godzilla and is considered one of his worst enemies.
 

 

3. Frankenstein
From Frankenstein Conquers the World

Leave it to the Japanese to attempt a remake of Frankenstein that is absolutely nothing like the original. Truth be told, the name Frankenstein is simply a name given to a giant boy by a TV crew when they find the giant boy running around Japan... and a scientist finds the heart of the real Frankenstein monster, which then ends up in the possession of the Japanese. Ok, there’s a connection here? Sure, why not. 
 
Frankenstein Conquers the World is a ridiculous film that features a crazy, normal-sized boy who suddenly begins to grow to into a giant boy. He eats animals and throws trees at birds: the type of silly, pent-up emotions you’d find dwelling within a giant boy. It’s a very predictable film in a really surreal way, from the giant monster, Baragon, that begins terrorizing villages, to Frankenstein’s love-interest. Frankenstein (aka, the giant boy) would have been much more interesting had he been loaded down with some of Gigan’s weapons.
 

2. Minilla (Son of Godzilla)

Minilla was a seemingly desperate attempt by Japanese filmmakers to come up with something (anything!) to appease monster movie audiences. Minilla is technically the first offspring of Godzilla, but there were more that followed, some of which were also referred to as Minilla. Minilla fought side-by-side with Godzilla to defeat King Ghidorah (actually a really cool Japanese monster), and has lived on islands with very Nickelodeon-esque names like Monster Island and Monsterland.
 
Minilla is incredibly cute, one of the main reasons this little guy makes the lame list. Simply put, Japanese movie monsters shouldn’t be cute. Minilla’s body looks like a large bland rock, but his poor body features are offset by a really sweet, innocent face. It’s hard to watch Minilla battling other monsters, as you just want to give it a hug and cradle it in your arms... were it not a giant monster.
 

1. King Caesar (or King Seesar)

King Caesar is a rock/statue that turns into a giant dog monster who comes to life to fight Mechagodzilla. Indeed, there is nothing more pleasing to the eye than a giant dog fighting a Godzilla-shaped robot. King Caesar has no funky weapons to speak of, but instead relies on his incredible strength and super-kick-ass martial arts abilities. King Caesar has big, floppy ears, a pathetically unkempt coat, and, when standing in full attack mode, vaguely resembles a really hairy transvestite.  
 
King Caesar takes top honors on the lame Japanese monster list for being a dog that is apparently part lion, a terrible combination that didn’t work well at all. In all honesty, King Caesar is actually kind of cute, much like Minilla, and brings to mind a drunk guy wearing the worst Halloween costume ever.
 
 
If you are a fan of Japanese films, you should check out 5 Awesome Asian Horror Movies. We all love Godzilla, but the latest movie was a big green turd. Godzilla is listed in 6 Movies That Didn't Meet the Hype. The rest you'll have to read to see who made it. If you liked Dirk Sonniksen's article, try 6 Aliens From Movies That Actually Looked Alien.
 

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COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 10 of 31
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Wiseguy 3/19/2010 8:28:49 AM

LOL. I used to love all these films to death as a kid. Back in the day channel 9 used to run a Godzilla marathon on Thanksgiving and the day after and I'd be glued to my seat enjoying all the mayhem. Unfortunately these films have not aged well and now I don't find anything about them appealing beyond 10 or 20 minutes of reminiscing

axia777 3/19/2010 8:29:18 AM

THIS LIST IS FAIL.  Mothra RULES.  I hate these lists and am going to stop reading them.  They ussually suck ass.

Tashiro 3/19/2010 8:34:45 AM

 I might have to disagree about Mothra, but oh gods the other ones hurt my brain.

metalpause 3/19/2010 8:50:42 AM

That was fun, but GODZILLA: FINAL WARS rocked!!!

SelectiveRealism 3/19/2010 9:01:54 AM

 I remember watching MechaGodzilla as a kid and waiting the entire movie for King Caesar and then he is in the movie for about 90 seconds.   

 

Have to disagree about Gigan though.  

superrichtheman 3/19/2010 9:14:44 AM

I gotta admit, I thought Gigan was pretty sweet as a 8 year old.


wolfmanX 3/19/2010 9:17:32 AM

Gigan is badass I dont care what this list says. Especially in FINAL WARS. And Mothra can be badass at times to. Sorry guy but your list isnt 100 percent right.

MrOptimusPrime 3/19/2010 9:50:25 AM

Maybe you should have included some of the less popular monsters on the island!!  I do remember lots of Giant Ants, Grasshoppers etc. that were lame too.  You just knew that any of these monsters were going to get it by one of the monsters listed above. 

I do have to agree with some of the other posters here....when I was a kid these movies did kick ass but have not aged well.   

 

 

OmegaDean 3/19/2010 10:30:15 AM

I love these movies even now... But c'mon guys what about the smog monster (completely lame) and King Ceaser could redirect energy blast back at his enemies through his eyes.

Hedorah4hire just so you know Toho is not supposed to be making a Godzilla movie for at least 10 years after Godzilla Final War... which by the way was brilliant.  They gave them the biggest budget ever for a Godzilla movie and they just lost there minds.

gauleyboy420 3/19/2010 10:31:53 AM

Sweet list, I used to love these movies and periodically go on a giant destructo rampaging monster movie fest.

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