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7 Characters That Screwed People Like Lebron James Did Cleveland
The LBJ's of the movie world
July 13, 2010
In a cold calculated event that could’ve only been worse had he worn a t-shirt that read “F.U. Cleveland”, the self proclaimed “King”, LeBron James went on live television to rip out the hearts of every Cleveland Cavaliers fan. This heartless betrayal got us thinking about similar acts that have taken place on film and today we take a quick look at some characters that have pulled a LeBron.
7. Jake Sully
This deceiving douchebag managed to screw two races over. First, Mr. Sully shows up on Pandora to join the Avatar program and maybe score his legs back. Once he joins the Avatar program he begins a sneaky mission of spying on the native Na’vi. Jake gains their trust, learns their ways, eats their food and bangs their women all the while betraying them by giving the humans information on how to get rid of the Na’vi. At some point along the way, probably after some mind-blowing sex under the Tree of Souls, Jake has a change of heart and decides he doesn’t want to screw the Na’vi anymore. Oops too late! The Na’vi lost their home and tons of their people thanks to Jake’s spying info. Ashamed of his actions Jake turns around to screw over his own people and picks up arms against the humans. Adding insult to injury, after defeating the humans Jake kicks them off the planet like LeBron James kicked every Clevelander’s feelings.
6. Fernand Mondego
From: The Count of Monte Cristo
This backstabbing rat right here was Edmond Dante’s best friend till he decided to throw away his friendship and screw Dante over a woman. Mondego wanted to bang Dante’s girl, Mercedes, but she wasn’t having any of that. To make matters for Mondego worse, Dante had received a promotion that put him in an excellent financial position to marry his girl. Knowing his time to bang Mercedes was coming to an end, Mondego sets up Dante to be a spy but not only does he set him up he later stabs Dante so he can get arrested by the authorities. An ice-cold act to be sure and one LeBron James knows all about.
5. Colin Sullivan/ Billy Costigan
From: The Departed
These two betraying cats have the innate ability to lie and screw people over. Colin Sullivan gained the Boston Police’s trust but he was really a mole for mobster Frank Costello and aided him in by throwing the police of his scent. Billy Costigan gained the trust of Frank Costello and his crew but he was really an undercover police officer who kept the police on Costello’s scent. We’re gonna give Costigan a pass because his deceiving was for good. Sullivan however is the true LeBron James of this picture. Colin’s deceit was responsible for allowing Costello to run amok and the death of Captain Queenan. As if his lies weren’t bad enough Colin then goes on and kills Costello who was responsible for giving him pretty much everything in his life. It reminds us of LeBron James not even giving a courtesy call to Cavs owner Dan Gilbert to let him know of his decision to leave.
From: The Matrix
This two-faced baldie was part of the Nebuchadnezzer team and he spent his days riding along on the ship helping free people of the Matrix. However, Cypher realized that living outside the Matrix was worse than Shirley Manson’s acting and the poor guy just couldn’t take it anymore. Taking a page from the King James book on how to betray your team, he decides to screw the entire Nebuchadnezzer in order to score a chance of getting plugged back into the Matrix. Cypher does his backstabbing by giving Morpheus’s location to the agents and then proceeds to start killing the Neb crew one by one by unplugging them. Each time Cypher unplugged someone it was similar to LeBron James unplugging a Clevelander’s hope and dreams.
3. Vesper Lynd
From: Casino Royale
This hot and beautiful beeyotch played Britain’s most famous spy, James Bond, like a fiddle. Proving women aren’t above spreading their legs to get what they want, Lynd used her body and good looks to get Mr. Bond to fall in love with her. It was all a clever ruse of course; she was really working for the bad guys so she could save her true love, Mr. We Forgot His Name ‘Cause He’s Not Really Important. When Bond finds out the truth he is completely heartbroken just like millions of Cavalier fans on July 8, 2010.
2. Carter Burke
This company man took a group of space marines and Ripley back to LV-426 with the hidden agenda of bringing an alien back to Earth. When his attempt to bring the alien back isn’t successful he lets loose a face-hugger with the hopes it releases its alien spawn into Ripley or the little girl Newt. If sacrificing a woman or little girl for his own personal gain wasn’t bad enough, later in the midst of an alien attack the cowardly two-faced mofo shows once again he only cares about himself when he runs away from the battle and locks out the entire team behind him, leaving them to fend for themselves. We’re almost positive that Carter Burke is related to LeBron James because if it’s one thing James knows it’s turning your back on your team for your own personal gains.
1. Anakin Skywalker
From: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
This midochlorian filled bastard had the fortune of being rescued from slavery as kid when he was saved by Jedi Qui Gonn Jinn and Obi Wan Kenobi. Skywalker went on to have a pretty nice life learning the ways of the Jedi and how to use the Force. He quickly became the best prospect the Jedi Order had ever seen. As we all know, when you one of the best Jedi you start being recruited by Pat Riley err Darth Sidious. Sidious pitched Skywalker on lights, weather, women and glamour of South Beach… we’re sorry we meant the dark side of the force. Anakin smitten by the night life and the no state taxes the dark side of the force offered along with the opportunity to join with one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy said FU to the Jedi and joined the Emperor’s team. Skywalker then proceeded to orchestrate the extinction of the Jedi exactly like LeBron James orchestrated the extinction of basketball in Cleveland.
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