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8 Crazy Masters of the Universe Figures

Trap Jaw Does Not Even Come Close

By Robert T. Trate     September 25, 2009
Source: Mania.com


“By the Power of Grayskull” echoed on television for a little over two years yet the words live on to this very day. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe was an incredible blend of science fiction with swords and sorcery. It was a vast universe in which children got lost in for hours after school in their back yards and on TV. The Masters of the Universe series had over 130 episodes air on television and from that Mattel drew hordes of characters, vehicles and play sets. He-Man, Skeletor, Man at Arms, Beast Man and Merman were your core characters but every now and then a new hero or villain would emerge and they would get their own action figure. Characters like Trap Jaw, Webster and Man-E-Faces were awesome renditions and became classic toys. As the show aired, and long after it didn’t, Mattel would create some figures so crazy that they stood out above the rest, frighteningly so. Stinkor was one of the smelliest but he doesn’t even make the list. Here are Mania’s 8 Crazy Masters of the Universe Figures.

He-Man Toys

8. Gwildor
Gwildor, portrayed by Billy Barty, was the one character that cased many fans to ask, “WTF?” for the very first time. Masters of the Universe (1987) marked the end of the Masters of the Universe property, at least for a while, and had several other crazy characters in the film but Gwildor is the craziest of them all. Perhaps Orko, with all of his flying around, was too much money to produce? We all know they didn’t spend much on sets so why not have a Jim Henson puppet in there doing all the same bumbling, cute crap that Gwildor did? Gwildor takes the eight spot because his crazy addition not only signified the end of the Masters of the Universe but the end of our innocence as well.

He-Man Toys

7. Twistoid and Rotar
Twistoid or Rotar? Is there really a difference between being a hero and being a villain that spins? Alright maybe a coat of paint but these two Energy Zoid figures were identical. Mattel issued the mini-comic "Energy Zoids" explaining their story since neither one of these two Zoid characters appeared in the cartoon series. They were spinning tops that could create a lot of havoc on the battlefield. What’s even crazier is that these two characters with no legs, which could move on their own, once launched, had a vehicle in the works. The Gyratakker vehicle was to launch them into attack mode. Excuse me but isn’t that what the kids already did after they wound them up? The Gyratakker never saw the light of day and not many of Energy Zoids did either.

He-Man Toys

6. Rio Blast
One of the many action figures from the line that never appeared in the cartoon, Rio Blast was your typical buddy of He-Man with a gimmick. Rio Blast was a quick draw artist who had weapons built into hidden cavities within his chest and knees. His only fault was that he was afraid of snakes which didn’t help out He-Man much because he was introduced in Star Comics’ He-Man book #4 titled “Snakes Alive” featuring the Snakemen. It’s crazy that a property that was so heavily supported by a syndicated cartoon series would turn to a comic book for a new character. What’s even crazier is that Rio Blast had a rivalry with Snout Spout of all people.

He-Man Toys

5. Modulok
The “evil beast of a thousand bodies” came with 22 body parts and was then quickly followed up by Multi-Bot, a creation of Modulok’s own sinister design. There are a few variations on his origin but the one by comic book and science fiction writer J. Michael Straczynski which likens him to Star Trek’s Mr. Spock, a scientist albeit a mad one, is the one that sticks. What drives this figure into the crazy category, outside of the 22 parts, is that in his first mini comic "The Treachery of Modulok" he mails himself to the royal place piece by piece as a way of sneaking in. One arm in the mail would be enough to spark suspicion let alone several. Modulok also went from Skeletor’s prisoner to Hordak’s follower all to get his revenge. It’s crazy to think that one character can go from prisoner to super villain so quickly in the Masters of the Universe realm.

He-Man Toys

4. Ram Man
In "He-Man Meets Ram-Man" mini comic Ram Man is portrayed as more of misguided brutish linebacker than the moron of the cartoon series. A regular on the series Ram Man’s action figure would be closer to his cartoon appearance. Those odd little spring legs assured that there was no vehicle for him to ride in. He falls into that crazy design category where Mattel made sure he could ram anything. Unfortunately he just couldn’t do anything else.

He-Man Toys

3. Snout Spout
Having appeared in She-Ra and not on He-Man Snout Spout or Hose Nose as he was once called had little character development on the TV series. Mattel and other media would relate his origin to children as Etherian peasant that was tortured and experimented on by Hordak. Snout Spout was slated to become a member of the Evil Horde but was able to withstand Hordak’s brainwashing. Sounds like a blast for the kids to read about. Though generally used as a fireman this character has a crazy head and a typical He-Man character body. What’s crazy about him is his placement in two different cartoon properties and an origin that no child should have to inquire about. Mommy, what’s brainwashing?

He-Man Toys

2. Mosquitor
Mosquitor was one of the last Masters of the Universe figures ever produced by Mattel. A member of the Evil Horde, he was packaged as an “evil energy-draining insectoid”. Though never actually appearing in the cartoon he nonetheless had an appearance in the mini-comic "Enter: Buzz-Saw Hordak!" where he got to drain the Sorceress. Read into that as much as you like. Nothing says crazy like a blood sucking robotic villain that likes to put his thing into one of the few female action figures in the toy line. Crazy doesn’t even cover half of it.

He-Man Toys

1. Moss Man
Alright, Mattel really slacked off when it came to his sculpt. He was after all just Beast Man painted green with some crazy fibers glued to his body. Being that he was probably from the north side of Eternia this poor schmo only appeared in two episodes. That’s two out of 136 (see “Here, There, Skeletors Everywhere" and "The Ancient Mirror of Avathar") and briefly in the “He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special”. Still that’s better than most on this list. Originally he was slated to be Stinkor’s arch foe but that never came to be on the show. Moss Man takes the number one spot because, lets face it, nothing is crazier than a man made of moss!
Robert Trate writes two weekly columns for Mania the DVD Shopping Bag and the Toy Maniac. Robert also participates in a pod cast that reviews movies, comics and celebrates all things geek. Check it out at You’ve Got Geek on You.com.


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Chopsaki 9/25/2009 4:16:44 AM

I always liked Kobra Kahn, you could fill him up with water and make him shoot venom like a water gun.

renderman72 9/25/2009 7:19:35 AM

I still think Stinkor should have been number one. What's crazier than an action figure that stinks so bad you don't even want to play with it?

littlemikey979 9/25/2009 8:00:34 AM

i think i may still have rio blast buried in a box somewhere, back pack/helmet gun/turrent thing long lost years ago, i think one of his kneew cap guns is missing too. i don't even remember seeing halk of these in the stores.

remember the battle damage line where when their chest got hit it would turn and the "damage" would get worse? i loved those until that that piece quit spinning and he-man was always hurt.

EagleManiac 9/25/2009 8:30:02 AM

Doesn't Juggernaught from X-Men III look a lot like Ram Man?

DarthDuck 9/25/2009 8:30:33 AM

I have many of these figures, thank you Mania for the MOTU love.  Dragstor or Blow-Apart were also both ridulous toys that would've felt right at home on this list.  But as much as I still love all my Masters of the Universe toys, it terms of pure weirdness the old TMNT line holds the crown.

gauleyboy420 9/25/2009 11:50:14 AM

I just discoverd a near Mint He-Man  and Orko action figure to add to my wall of geek in my man cave...LOVE IT, God I was such a geek for he, man , What about the crazy skeleton dinosaur used to hold your figures and to march them as a battalion into battle??

themovielord 9/25/2009 7:38:01 PM

gauleyboy420... do you mean battle bones? Awesome... loved that thing....

FilchX 9/25/2009 9:03:33 PM

Lol....I had Ram Man and Moss Man.....ohhh the memories.

mbeckham1 9/26/2009 12:15:02 PM

You should include the Green slime monster and pit.  They hasd a set of instructions tthat came wioth  it and they made it sound like it was a pet..  They also said not to use it on moss man because it was scared of Moss man.  Of coursde it woulfdd also have ruined that character.  The idea wasd you put the slime on another Mastrer's of the nbuiverse aactiion  figure thriyough a grsat pouring thing that came wioth the sdlime and looked cool and itr was supposed to take control of the  as describewd in the mini comic.  Of course parets hated it at least my Dad did and eventually the slime would set up into lumps but it was cool while it lasted.  Butr the turn offfactor for parents and he pet stuff was pretty crazy.  And cool.  

mbeckham1 9/26/2009 12:17:23 PM

And I liked Ram man he was p[rettycool./  lookled like a Lord of theringfs or DND charactere.  And the ram wwas fun to play with. 

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