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8 WTF Toys from Toy Fair 2012

Why again?

By Robert T. Trate     February 15, 2012


The great part about Toy Fair is that you see a lot of things you never expect. Perhaps an old property is coming back. A movie or TV show is finally getting the products it so rightfully deserved. There are even some people out there who decide to take that crazy gamble and just go for it. Somewhere in this universe someone thought the following was a good idea. As Mania’s resident Toy Maniac, I have to ask WTF were they thinking?
8. Any Battleship Product other than the board Game:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

Hasbro Studios and their production company are betting heavily on Battleship. In case you are not old enough to remember the game, you placed your battleship on a board your opponent couldn’t see. You would then call out coordinates on his board as if you were launching an attack. If you hit them they would say, ”hit”. Then you would spend your next few turns trying to sink that ship. It was easy to cheat (just place white pegs on your board with the boats that he inquired about knowing he won’t ever call on this spots again allowing you to move your ships around) and not the type of game to call for second round. Hasbro is making Battleship KRE-O’s; new versions of the game (featuring the film’s aliens), t-shirts, hats and toys. The film has all the earmarks of being a colossal dude (come on, Rihanna is in it). The toys look like discount aisle fodder for sure.
7. The Mighty Thor Bottle Opener:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

I guess they were thinking that since Thor enjoys a pint of ale from time to time a Mjolnir that can open bottles makes perfect sense. Diamond Select Toys had these on display with a USS Enterprise Pizza cutter as well. Ah, the nerd kitchen is so close to being completed. Now I just need the Star Wars trash compactor- garbage disposal unit.
6. The Shield Flying Fortress:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

I have to call foul on this one. Much like Hasbro’s GI Joe Mobil Command Unit (see pic) it looks like nothing that has ever come before and flimsy, too. I’ll eat number one on this list if there is a giant flying surfboard for all of the characters to ride in Whedon’s movie. Where is the Millennium Falcon style Quinn Jet? They have a smaller one coming but this big thing looks more like a hover board. If you can play the waiting game look for these in the discount aisle come fall.
5. Lt. Starbuck and Android Sister:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

Big Bang Pow has a full line of original Battlestar Galactica figures coming in the style of the old MECO line (see the picture on Mania’s Facebook page). Why they thought to make one of the Android Sisters is beyond me. There are at least two or three aliens in the series to pick from that would have been better. The Android Sisters weren’t even adversaries to the BSG crew. Where is the Ovions or the Borays? If Bif Bang Pow had to make one girl figure, then why not Cassiopeia or Sheba?
4. Bikini Bottom Undersea Party:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

I know this is for kids, but have you ever seen the price of Legos? This set goes for $49.99 where as the Flying Dutchmen (see pic on Mania’s Facebook Page) is $24.99 and seems like a lot more fun. You get houses here, but why a dance party theme? I guess since they have made Sponge Bob thongs, a Sponge Bob dance party wasn’t far off.
3. 10 inch Marvel’s Avengers Captain America:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

The song went, “Captain America throws his mighty shield”. Then whether you had an action figure from the Secret Wars, an old MECO doll, or just carried a trash can lid around with you, that shield went flying. You did that, you made it happen. Hasbro came out with a Hulk that screams and moves his fists, an Iron Man that shoots blasts, and a Thor that tosses his hammer. Those 10-inch figures look both great and like you could play with them in any scenario. This Captain America is permanently frozen in that motion. I know your intention, Hasbro, was a good one but this was just a massive fail. How about letting the kids do this one on their own?
2. Nerf Fire Vision:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

We are all guilty of having a game of catch way too late after the sun goes down. It’s a reason why they started making fluorescent footballs and baseballs. Nerf has come up with a new reflective ball that allows you to have that came of catch well into the evening. The problem I see is that if you turn your head or the light from your headset doesn’t catch the reflective glow, you are going to get a ball in the face. Thankfully, it will be a Nerf one. I also don’t see too many Dads putting this ridiculous looking thing on and throwing the old Nerf pigskin around. Mine wouldn’t have and he liked nothing more than a game of catch.
1. The Alien Chopsticks:

8 Weird Toys at Toy Fair 2012

I like a lot Kotobukiya’s designs, statues and collectibles, one of their “household” products is even making another list of mine. So why these chopsticks? And why chopsticks fashioned into things you really don’t want going into or coming out of your mouth? There aren’t many Alien products like there are Star Wars (they also have lightsaber chopsticks) so if this is what you’ve always wanted, Alien fans, well then by all means.
Check out Robert’s Toy Fair 2012 here on Mania. Check out Mania’s Facebook page for uncut additional photos of all the toys.
Robert Trate writes three weekly columns for Mania: the DVD Shopping Bag, the Toy Maniac, and The Geek Life. Follow Robert on Twitter for his for Geek ramblings, Cosplay photos and film criticisms.


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spiderhero 2/15/2012 9:05:34 AM

Chestbuster chopsticks. You pull these out when you don't want your guests eating all your Sushi.

BunyonSnipe 2/15/2012 2:32:01 PM

NONE of these things are WTF...

The Knight Rider mini-mate is WTF, the one that makes the hoff look like a dwarf...

None of these are!

BunyonSnipe 2/15/2012 2:36:14 PM

Also why do Americans refer to Lego as Legos?

The plural of Lego is LEGO!

jppintar326 2/15/2012 2:51:36 PM

Colossal dud or dude?  Dud would be more accurate to describe Battleship.  Especially since battleships are obsolete and most are just floating museums.  This may make the Transformer movies look good.  The Thor bottle opener and old Battleswtar Galactica fiugres would interest me.  I would have to see the flying fortress in action in Avengers before I pass judgement.

Wyldstaar 2/15/2012 2:53:00 PM

The Captain America reminds me of the "Energized Spider-Man" figure from the 1970s.  It was also frozen in only one position, and had a built in electric winch that could pull the figure up on a web-line.  The figure's left arm was stuck permanently above his head, since that's where the string was reeled in and out.  So lame.

creamygnome 2/15/2012 3:37:24 PM

"The film has all the earmarks of being a colossal dude"

I dig that typo.  Keep it in!

ddiaz28 2/15/2012 4:16:57 PM

I like the chopsticks.  I own two pairs of the Star Wars ones.  Mace Windu's and Darth Maul's.  The Maul ones even have magnets at the end so you can put them together as a dual saber.  And I agree with the high price of Lego sets.  Some are pretty ridiculous.  Saying that, my son and I love to build them together so I spend far more money on Lego than I should.  He can't wait for the new Star Wars ones.  I'm gonna have to find some way to get him into LOTR even though he's only 5 so we can buy those Lego.  Or maybe I'll just drop the pretense and buy them for myself because they are sweet.

themovielord 2/15/2012 5:41:18 PM

 There is a big LEGO article coming ddiaz28. Check out a bunch of the pictures already on Mania's Facebook page. 

6dra6on6 2/15/2012 7:57:03 PM

The BG figures on the FB page look pretty cool, however, I wish they had put more detail in the warriors jackets instead of the sackcloth they have now. At least the cylons look cool.

InnerSanctum 2/15/2012 9:34:54 PM

 Chopsticks double as your mama's personal adult toys. 

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