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6 Real Holiday Lessons Learned From Movies (Article) - 12/22/2009 6:03:05 PM

Considering that a geek is a person who can pay attention and has the ability to retain information when it comes to film, as well as someone that bothers to open and continue debate, I'll take that as a compliment. I'd applaud your trap if Mania's continued existence wasn't thanks to healthy, regular congregation of geeks. Not unlike shooting fish in a barrel, eh?

6 Real Holiday Lessons Learned From Movies (Article) - 12/22/2009 2:39:31 PM

It's true that you never said whether the gun was loaded or unloaded, but I never claimed said otherwise. Saying that McClane had 'been duped into giving a gun to an obvious movie bad guy' was the fallacy I was attacking; though it's impossible to approach this argument from McClane's perspective, since he is merely a character and Bruce Willis' thoughts in the sequence were likely factored around his next lines, it's fair to say that Gruber didn't fool him. Or else the movie would be much shorter and there would be no sequels.

And yes, I'm invalidating the entire segment in the way a true geek would.

6 Real Holiday Lessons Learned From Movies (Article) - 12/22/2009 12:46:04 PM

You really can't afford to sacrifice plot details for the sake your writing as you do in the Die Hard segment, either that or you don’t remember the film well enough to feature it in an article. Gruber spoke with an American accent when McClane ran into him, and the suit would be fitting, given the white-collar business environs. Despite that, McClane was duped into nothing; he handed Gruber a pistol with an empty magazine and points out how stupid Gruber is for buying that he’d just hand him a gun. These inaccuracies just make you look bad, and considering how obvious they are, they don’t even make me look like a geek. Much.

6 Annoying Things Hollywood Needs to Stop Doing (Article) - 12/12/2009 1:48:45 PM

Cute article, but you're absolutely dead wrong on two of these.

Clue made an excellent movie, and there's no debating that.

Planning sequels and trilogies in advance insures a connective tissue between the films. Production schedules can be streamlined, we can be assured the same actors will be taking the roles, and we can know in advance whether to wait for the trilogy boxed set on DVD. More importantly, however, I cannot think of a single trilogy that was NOT planned that turned out well. The Wachowski brothers made an excellent film with The Matrix, and when it soared at the box office, they claimed they had always planned it as a trilogy. With the first one, they were trying to make the best movie they could, and since everyone liked the first one, they figured everyone would like anything they did, so they turned out two bloated piles of refuse.

Though Star Wars was not planned as a trilogy (good luck sorting through all of George Lucas' contrary chaff on the subject), Lucas at least had an abundance of ideas. What he would lack later on would be the modesty necessary to revise these ideas and allow others to join in the creative process. The Indiana Jones series would be produced from the same wellspring, saved again by collaboration.

The best modern example would be the Lord of the Rings series. Between the awards garnered, critical praise, and box office response, it's tough to imagine a better franchise model. The movies were made inexpensively (relatively speaking) and in quick order, helping to insure the continuity afforded by the camaraderie of the cast and crew and giving Jackson no time to let the success go to his head. He would suffer that ego boost with King Kong.

Aliens Attack Ghost House (Article) - 11/30/2009 1:03:15 PM

Bollocks. It's like the most obvious parts of War of the Worlds mixed with Independence day and shot like District 9 with the score from 28 Days Later. This pile of shit will not go anywhere.

4 True Stories of Alien Abduction (Article) - 11/3/2009 10:16:00 AM

By the way, when I say the Battle of Los Angeles, I'm not talking about the Rage Against The Machine album. Look it up on wikipedia.

4 True Stories of Alien Abduction (Article) - 11/3/2009 10:14:35 AM

David Jacobs teaches a class on the subject at Temple University, and I've had the pleasure of attending a full semester. I walked in a skeptic, paid attention, took notes, talked to him every day after class and bought him lunch at the end of the semester, and walked out a believer. The man is incredibly intelligent and has the razor sharp judgment to sort the wheat from the chaff; he's studied Project Bluebook files, can tell almost instantly if your own personal 'encounter' was imagined or not, and doesn't just buy into everything he hears. For example, he knows that the Roswell incident had nothing to do with aliens and that Area 51 doesn't either; after all, it's only common sense that this corrupt, bureaucratic government doesn't have the ability to cover up something like that.

The reason aliens don't abduct the president is because they're not like human beings. You have to imagine that an intelligent being from another planet doesn't experience life the way that we do, and therefore would have a completely different culture and psychology. Dismissing their existence by rationalizing their behavior as inept in human terms is a grevious error and shows that you've put almost no thought into the matter.

If you want to believe this at all, you can't make assumptions based on what humans might do and accept that, if they're not making themselves known to us, it's probably for a very good reason. If they are, in fact, trying to take over and haven't asserted their dominance in a show of power, it's probably because they understand the terms of human armed conflict and they don't want us using our nuclear deterrence to sully the planet.

Just like we couldn't understand their psychology without decades of intense analysis, we can't understand their technology either. Reflect, for a moment, on how quickly humans have gone from the industrial revolution to putting a man on the moon after having been in existence for roughly 10,000 years. Now imagine a culture that has existed another 10,000 years past that; you can bet they will have transcended any paradigm of science and engineering we believe we've mastered.

And I can't believe no one mentioned or put up the Battle of Los Angeles. Seriously, all you the debunkers out there, you can't dismiss something you know nothing about.

Chronenberg Remaking FLY (Article) - 9/24/2009 2:55:51 AM

I think we all ought to know that this was inevitable. The remake machine will keep churning out bad versions of great films. But honestly, with Cronenberg on board, what can you say? His version in the 80's was fantastic, and though I don't think it needs to be remade, there's certainly no better person to do it. Just be glad Rob Zombie didn't get his hands on it. Cronenberg is a talented guy, and I'm on board for anything he does.

Universal Adapting ASTEROIDS (Article) - 7/2/2009 9:41:31 AM

Wiseguy, funny you should mention it, because I already made the poster for it:

Honestly, before anyone can make a good movie based on a video game, they'd have to have lived it. Considering the age of most of the people writing and directing big movies these days, Asteroids is the best place to start.

Fox Wants Scott for ALIEN Prequel (Article) - 6/10/2009 10:19:39 PM

Oh great. Maybe she and an expanded Nostromo crew can 'accidently' run into the Alien and the characters in the first film will survive but have their memories wiped in the cryo-chambers... then when they wake up they get sent right back to LV-426 not realizing they were just there.

Hmm. If only they had M. Night Shyamalan write it...


Date Joined: December 18, 2006