Jekyll's Study/Hyde's Playground

The Churchill Awards!

(Thu 02/28/2008 03:36pm)

The award season ended in Hollywood earlier this week when this year’s Oscars were handed out. Now it’s time for the limelight to shine fully on the prestigious Churchill genre film awards.
Nominees and winners were selected from the films I either watched at a theater or received an advanced copy of during 2007. When I looked over the list of nearly 50 films, 2007 was a deceptively good year for movie going. But please keep the following in mind: I didn’t see every movie that got a theatrical release, and I skip at least 80% of all sequels and remakes. I’m interested in fresh groceries, aren’t you? So, with no further adieu, time to present the annual Churchills!

Best Action/Adventure Film: Apocalypto. Don’t be put off by all the hoopla surrounding Mel Gibson’s celebrated foreign film. Released late in 2006 and billed as a historical epic, don’t let the sub-titles fool you. This film is a pure adrenaline thrill ride, with a great hero to cheer for and no shortage of unrelenting action and bloody violence. The other top nominees included 3:10 to Yuma and the supremely kick-ass 300.

Best Horror/Thriller Film: Mr. Brooks. I’ve never been a real Kevin Costner fan, but this entertaining and shocking serial killer flick was a total surprise. Runner ups were Pan’s Labyrinth and Zodiac.

Best Comedy: Knocked Up. Suddenly Hollywood has decided pregnancy is hilarious. First there was Knocked Up, and now the current indie gem Juno. The story is simple: a gorgeous career woman has a drunken one night stand with a professional slacker, leading directly to the descriptive title. The film is both poignant and hilarious. Super Bad and the comedy/action hybrid Hot Fuzz were the other nominees.


INTERMISSION. (Should be really short lines at the restrooms.)


Biggest Surprise: Mr. Brooks. The film far surpassed my expectation, headed up by a great performance by Kevin Costner. Catch it on DVD.

Most Unique Film: Black Snake Moan. A very peculiar drama with adult themes rooted in both physical and emotional betrayal and redemption, Samuel L. Jackson and Christina Ricci star in this most unusual, disturbing, thought provoking film.

Most Disappointing Film: I Am Legend. Will Smith did a great job talking to mannequins and his dog, but it just turned out to be another big budgeted holiday remake that faded quickly from memory as the days passed. It wasn’t even better than either of its predecessors, The Last Man on Earth and The Omega Man. At least the Fresh Prince saved the world again.

Worst Horror Film of 2007: So many choices….Resident Evil 3, Black Christmas…Some stunk so bad I can still smell them, but the worst of the worst was tabloid queen Lindsey Lohan’s I Know Who Killed Me, a horror film that probably tried to cast Paris Hilton or Britney Spears before Ms. Lohan’s luck went from bad to worse.


And now for the, shall we say, unconventional awards…


Most Bullets Fired: There are several very strong nominees - Smokin’ Aces, Hot Fuzz, 3:10 to Yuma, or Live Free or Die Hard, but the winner is Shoot ‘em Up.

Ugliest Death: There were some dandies, such as death by zombie crows, but I have to give the Churchill to 28 Weeks Later and the raging homicide that took place between Robert Carlyle’s guilt-ridden husband and his wife, who infects him and pays an ugly price.

Most Ridiculously Cool Scene: Many reached for prize, but the hardware goes to 30 Days of Night, and our hero sheriff that shoots up with vampire blood so he can grow fangs and go one on one with the vampire leader. Now that’s ridiculously cool.

Best Monster: Not a great year for monsters, but I’ll go with the mutant, otherworldly spiders in The Mist. *Gagging* I hate spiders!

Worse Horror Remake: Though it hit big screens on Christmas Day 2006, I didn’t plunk down my cash until early 2007. Black Christmas was no gift. Despite a bevy of beautiful, talented actresses, the flick flat out sucked. Well, except for the shower scene.

Best Near-Miss: Gotta go with Dead Silence. James Wan wrote and directed in this scary little ditty involving ventriloquist dolls, town curses, and, oh yeah, did I mention ventriloquist dolls? It had all the elements to be a low budget classic, but there were too many lapses to overcome. So close, and yet so far.

Hottest Smokin’ Genre Momma: This category was by far the toughest to decide. Nominees included Christina Ricci (Black Snake Moan – if you like your woman trashy), Elisha Cuthbert (Captivity), Monica Bellucci’s lactating beauty (Shoot ‘em Up), Rose McGowen machine gun legged stripper (Planet Terror), or take your pick between Milla Jovovich or Ali Larter (Resident Evil 3). But when it was all said and done, the Churchill goes to Alicia Keys’ killer siren assassin in Smokin’ Aces. If only it could have been me carrying her off into the sunset…Ms. McGowen’s Cherry of Planet Terror was a close, close 2nd.

Biggest Slice of Beefcake: Women genre lovers need eye candy too, and no film of 2007had more pure testosterone for those women who take their hard liquor straight from the brawn bottle than 300. I know my wife had no problems at all sitting through it, and I don’t think the female gasps I heard from the audience were all from the violence either.

Well, there you have it - genre films recognized and saluted for the year of our queen 2007. Hope you had a great time sitting next to the cute seat filler. Be careful driving home.

See you next year for The Churchills.