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Smallville: Series Finale Review (Article) - 5/17/2011 7:04:42 AM

Lazarus, I think I mentioned this in my previous post, but Joe is not just a professional, he's a goddamned professional!  

What's wrong with coming down to the comments section of a genre website and slugging it out with a couple of mouth-breathers who wouldn't know bad writing if they took a class taught by Stephanie Meyer entitled How to Write Like Shit.

No offense intended to anyone who actually liked Smallville for reasons other than Zatanna and Durance's boobs, but any given episode of The Smurfs had more narrative cohesion and made more logical sense than Smallville. The muthafukkin' Smurfs!  Okay, I lied.  I intended offense.

Smallville: Series Finale Review (Article) - 5/16/2011 6:10:11 PM

I accidentally ommited a parens in the above post.  (If that drives you bonkers, tough titty.

Smallville: Series Finale Review (Article) - 5/16/2011 6:09:10 PM

I haven't commented on the finale yet?  Kind of says what I thought of it.

Joe was incredibly succinct with his review calling it "BS," (I can't use more than one swear word in a post, and I want to use one in my review, so I need to felching shorten it to "BS," which reminds me that I want to anally rape Jarrod until he cries for his mommy and then rape him some more.  But that's neither here nor there.

My review:  If the Smallville finale had sucked any more, I'd have shoved my cock in the television.


That said, Joe, love ya, man.  YOU ARE A GODDAMNED PROFESSIONAL!  Find another crappy show to review next season, will ya?  We can sit back, have some beers, and make fun of the people who like it.

Smallville: Prophecy Review (Article) - 5/11/2011 8:30:33 AM

Joe, you're absolutely correct.  There were better ways to do that.  But this is Smallville, right?

I should have written for the show.  Here's my episode synopsis.  Zatanna shows up and casts a spell whereby Clark can only be super-powered when Lois is completely naked.  Also, just to be gratuitous, Zatanna is naked, except for the fishnets, shoes and, of course, the hat.

Smallville: Prophecy Review (Article) - 5/10/2011 9:37:51 AM

This episode was a Prophecy all right.  It was telling us that the finale will suck balls.

I will say this, though, Joe:  I can buy that Kara can shoot a bow as well as Ollie.  She's frigging super-powered.  Her hand can be more steady than a human's, and her accuracy is much better because of her super vision and crap.

Everything else was a bunch of lame chopped up and cooked in a stew of weaksauce.

Smallville: Booster (Article) - 4/29/2011 7:30:03 AM

Oh, I'm all flagpole like, Darlin'!

Supernatural: Frontierland (Article) - 4/28/2011 7:59:42 AM

I keep my address in my cell phone.  I keep a lot of addresses in my cell phone.  I'll admit that it's probably not a very bright idea for Sam or Dean to do as if they're caught, then their friends/ are in danger.

That being said, I'll just say "nice blanket."

Smallville: Booster (Article) - 4/28/2011 7:56:53 AM

I liked this episode quite a bit as well.  Booster FTW!

And because it's been a while, to Kara, I say "Hey, Baby."

Supernatural: My Heart Will Go On (Article) - 4/19/2011 7:09:41 AM

Oh, I get the point they were making about Cas, Daffy, but throwing Fate into the mix also complicates the mythology.  The Reapers now have to coordinate with Fate AND Death?  And what does Death think about this little timeline change?  Given his earlier assertion that he's older than everything, I'd wager that he would not be oblivious to it.

Remember last season when that guy pissed off Death and ended up um....dead?  Yeah.  Was it his fate to die at the hands of Death, or does Death get to operate outside of the bounds of Fate?  Again, since Death existed before Fate, I'd have to go with the latter.  Welcome to Unnecessary Complication Land.  Oh, and Hmmmm....the angels spent a lot of last season telling Sam and Dean that it was their destiny to be the vessels, so.....wouldn't FATE have played a large part in making that happen?  Now she's pissed about it?!

And in Heaven, aren't the souls all in their own little fake versions of paradise?  How does that help Cass & Co. win a war?  And even if it was a simple matter of "more souls in heaven = more power for the angels," this war is an angel on angel war.

Supernatural: My Heart Will Go On (Article) - 4/18/2011 9:20:32 AM

FakeJared, Joe's not allowed to write a big review for Supernatural like he is for Smallville.  It's not his choice, but rather an editorial one.


Date Joined: October 26, 2006