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Angels & Demons: Illuminati 101

"Jesus Motherf**king Christ It's Alive.."---Robert Anton Wilson

By Stella Maris     February 28, 2009

 

The first thing you need to know about the Illuminati is that nothing is real. As soon as you begin to take any of it seriously, they've got you.
 
Therefore, always remember that the overriding immutable rule of the intrepid Illuminati investigator is not to believe anything that you can't independently verify for yourself. Especially don't believe anything you read on the internet. And, if you watch a television documentary where someone is talking about the Illuminati in a grave tone of voice, then take immediate evasive action--such as changing the channel or going for a pee. In fact, don't even believe anything you read in this article.
 
Yes, I know that the Author’s Note at the beginning of Dan Brown’s bestseller Angels & Demons categorically states that "The brotherhood of the Illuminati is also factual". He does the same thing with the Priory of Sion in The Da Vinci Code.
 
But this is a literary device. It's how fiction writers hook you in. It’s not real.
 
Okay, granted, technically the Illuminati did indeed once exist. Historically, the Order of the Illuminati was founded at Ingolstadt University in Bavaria, on Walpurgisnacht, May 1st, 1776 by a Jesuit-trained law professor by the name of Adam Weishaupt. However, the movement lasted all of eight years, becoming officially defunct when secret societies were banned by the government in 1784.
 
The most interesting aspect of the brotherhood were its members, allegedly including Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Beethoven, and the mysterious Comte de Saint Germain, who was thought to have attained the Philosopher's Stone of immortality.
 
Conveniently for fiction writers, the Comte de Saint German went on to travel throughout Europe as a spy, leading to an endless underground stream of colorful spin-off adventures, and Adam Weishaupt himself refused his university pension and fled into exile, thereby opening the door to panoplies of possibilities.
 
The most popular theory regarding the demise of the Illuminati is that Weishaupt was used as a stand-in for George Washington, due to their close physical resemblance, thereby deftly tying covert Illuminati influence into the success of the American Revolution. In some versions of the story, Weishaupt actually permanently performed the duties of the first US President in order to cover up Washington's untimely early death, and it's therefore Weishaupt's own portrait that’s featured on the US dollar bill.
 
Embroideries abound when a swift glance at the genealogy of John Adams, Washington's Vice-President and successor as second US President, reveals that his family emigrated to Boston from Barton Saint-David, the ultimate center point of the Glastonbury Zodiac on Albion's mythical Saint Michael Line. For good measure, Adams’ ancestor was said to have been a member of a secret Dragon Order, dedicated to restoring the Stuart monarchy to the British throne.
 
And so it goes.
 
Inevitably, astonishing "secret information" has been "revealed" over the years, tracing the inception of the Illuminati either from a lineage of shadowy Sufi mystics or from Noah via John the Evangelist and thence to the Knights Templar, thereby incorporating centuries of hidden knowledge into Freemasonic and Rosicrucian degrees of initiation. Even Aleister Crowley manages to get in on the act—and I’m sure there's probably an Illuminati sex ritual sequestered somewhere obscure that hasn't yet been discovered. If not, we can happily invent one.
 
The most creative conspiracy theorists attribute everything from UFOs to McDonald's hamburgers to the current global Credit Crunch to the power of the Illuminati's ultra-secret New World Order manoeuvres.
 
Fortunately of all of our collective sanities, in the 1970s, former Playboy magazine editor Robert Anton Wilson actually “got” the surrealist joke and ran with it, generating a veritable cottage industry of thirty-five books and even a theatrical production based on the Illuminati, which indelibly influenced modern popular culture for years to come.
 
As it happens, Robert Anton Wilson became my own personal Cosmic Trigger, as result of "accidently" being introduced to him by my friend Mark Chorvinsky when I was going through my angst-ridden bohemian film student phase at Maryland University.
 
Synchronistically, Mark's mother and my mother were best friends back when we were kids. I used to go Trick-or-Treating on Halloween with Mark and his brother, when I was far too young to know what I was getting myself into. We inevitably lost touch when my family moved to England, which made the coincidence even weirder when I literally ran into Mark in the corridors of Maryland U's television studios out of the blue.
 
By this time Mark was an internationally renowned Magician and Fortean investigator. He had established a magic-themed bookshop in Rockville, Maryland called Dream Wizards (which unsurprisingly hosted amazing Halloween parties!) and founded Strange Magazine, dedicated to the serious investigation of the weird and wonderful.
 
Being more experienced in these matters, Mark immediately recognized the significance of our chance reunion and invited me to meet his friend Robert Anton Wilson, who was in town lecturing.
 
It's taken me years to unravel just how the Ariadne's Thread of RAW's connection to the Maryland-based Prometheus Society and the DC-based L5 Society corresponded to my personal close encounter with Andrija Puharich, who was working with an intriguing group of scientists in a lab around the corner from where I was living in Silver Spring... but, that's another story.
 
For now we just need to be aware of Robert Anton Wilson's role in the resurrection of the Illuminati archetype at the precise moment that the public mindset was ready to absorb it. In fact, I would even go as far as to suggest that Dan Brown's Angels & Demons would have been an entirely different book if it hadn't been for Robert Anton Wilson's preliminary Illuminati performance art.
 
Sadly, Mark Chorvinsky passed away in 2005, followed closely by Robert Anton Wilson's demise in 2007, so neither of them will be around to witness the contemporary resurgence of the Illuminati in Angels & Demons when the film is released in May 2009.
 
But the first question that we’ll be asking ourselves as we watch the movie is... did Ron Howard's team get the joke? And, if not, then who’s gonna deliver the punchline?
 
All Hail Eris!
 
Newton Coordinate:- The Feast of Saint David, March 1st, on the Greenwich Meridian.

 

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

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Leavis 2/28/2009 2:12:24 AM

 So, following Stella Maris' logic, not to believe anything that she writes in this article - and I confess I believe every syllable she writes - then the Illuminati are real.  (Or have I misread this week's codes?) That makes them even more incredible!  I can't wait to see the movie.

LittleNell1824 3/1/2009 6:34:53 AM

Wow. Robert Anton Wilson was an Illuminatus in the truest sense of the word. The beautiful thing about the Illuminati / New World Order / Reptilian / Bohemian Grove conspiracies is that there is a lot of truth within the threads. For example, you could make a strong case that the folks who own McDonalds are rich and powerful and would like us to be uninformed about nutrition, but can you call that a NWO plot to dumb us down and make us pliable? You could also make a strong case that the Bush family has a rather strong history of occult interest, that people have seen Reptilians, that a few of the most powerful folks in the world would like to exert as much control as they are able (wouldn't anyone?), but does that mean that some of these rich and powerful folks are sacrificing male prostitues to an Owl God on the pyre at Bohemian Grove while the rich and connected look on assuming its a ridiculous metaphorical play? ... Just because the spider's web touches both the garage and the shrub next to it, doesn't mean that the garage communicates with the shrub or vice versa. Or perhaps they do communicate... who knows?

I really am such a romantic about these things. I want to live in a world where Aleister Crowley contacted the Greys in the form of LEM through a carefully warded door, and where Jack Parsons of JPL Labs and L Ron Hubbard of Scientology, irresponsibly reopened that door and left it open, paving the way for much profit for themselves, much trauma and profit for Whitley Strieber... and for the miracles of Roswell, fiber optic cables, and my mp3 player.

I read an article in the NYT about a man named Bruno Schulz . I'm not sure what the context of the quote was, but Mr. Shulz sums it all up beautifully:  “My colored pencils rushed in inspiration across columns of illegible text in masterly squiggles, in breakneck zigzags that knotted themselves suddenly into anagrams of vision, into enigmas of bright revelation, and then dissolved into empty, shiny flashes of lightning, following imaginary tracks.” Yes, imaginary tracks, but they were real enough when I was following them and the vision was worth the detour. Because maybe it is all true, just a little bit true, but true nonetheless.
 

StellaMaris 3/1/2009 7:38:48 AM

Hi Nell... okay, here is a strange synchronicity that will freak you out - it even sent chills down my back when I discovered it, and I'm used to these things!

If you click on the link to Strange Magazine in my article above, it will take you to the promotional page of the last issue of the magazine that my friend Mark Chorvinsky was working on before he passed away.

Not only was the last issue he edited numbered Issue 23, which is a RAW High Weirdness number but, if you read the panel on the left of the page, you'll see which investigation specially featured in Mark's last issue... 

Do you recognise the subject?? 

Rosenbaum 3/1/2009 7:42:40 AM

 Little Nell, I think you make some good points.  I think - at some fundamental level - we all hope to find some truth behind the confused world in which we live.  Where I think it is easy for us all to go astray is to lock on to writers who claimed to have joined the dots.  The danger of so many of the sensationalist claims we read about every day is that they are taken at face value without considering the agenda of those writing them.  I don't for a second believe that anyone has seen a member of the British royal family metamorphosing into reptilians or that the Bohemian Grove members are really making pagan sacrifices.  What I do believe is that the McDonalds family does want to increase their profits (as you say, who would not?) and that the Bush family want greater wealth and power.  Perhaps all those who try to make these spurious links are trying to show a darker side to human nature which is within all of us - but that doesn't mean there are links.  However, we should never forget that that those who write sensational books claiming to have found a connection between short-lived sects in the eighteenth century and people in power today or have discovered that Christ was married to anyone you choose are out to sell books and make money.

As we feel insecure in this confused world, it is tempting to look at those who claim to have answers.  The trouble is when you look more closely at the writers of this books with their new discoveries, you discover that many of them are charlatans out to make a fast buck.  The problem as i see it is that so many of us are remarkably gullible and refuse to see how little is actually known about historical subjects and allow second-rate writers to fantasise without the slightest substance behind their claims.

It never fails to amaze me how some people so readily give credence to a new theory without considering for a moment:

(i) the factual basis for their claims and

(ii) the financial benefit that the writers get from peddling their inventions.

Abeline

LittleNell1824 3/1/2009 8:52:22 AM

Stella, that is really weird! I hadn't thought about the Toynbee Tiles in a really long time. I couldn't even remember what the tiles said and didn't bother to read the information again when I created the link. They just seemed appropriate to illustrate the 23.5 conspiracy theory.  I did remember that they seemed to be the product of one mad, but motivated, individual and that other people took up the cause because the tiles themselves are so clever and strange. I suspect that's the origin of a lot of our enigmatic monuments around the world. There are perhaps more Coral Castles than there are Vaticans, fewer powerful occult networks than private eccentric geniuses with mischevious followers. It's so interesting.

Rosie, I agree, but I don't... It's such a weird tightrope that I walk. I guess you could say that I'm a Fortean. I agree that people make things up for profit, and I agree that it would be foolish to believe everything we read, but I don't believe it's impossible that sacrifices are made for profit among certain groups of people, powerful or not. I don't believe it enough to worry about it, but let's just say that I believe that human belief in the occult is strong enough across all cultures and economic circumstances to account for human sacrifices to an Owl God in a nice recreational park in the US. It's not probable, but it is possible. What did RAW say? I believe in the Great Maybe...?

Rosenbaum 3/1/2009 4:48:22 PM

 Little Nell, I respect what you say.  What concerns me is that gullibility is a greatly underrated human characteristic and so many second-rate writers have made livings off human credulousness.  That anyone can actually believe the DVC and its numerous clones and now Angels and Demons is very, very sad.

Abeline

PS Your name has a great personal synchronicity for me too.  So maybe you're right after all.  Good choice!

 

LittleNell1824 3/1/2009 7:59:54 PM

Abeline, I totally understand. I don't want you to think that I take Alex Jones and his peers seriously. At all. I just believe that it's possible that the people we would assume would never even consider occult sacrifice, well, might very well consider it to be an important part of their power base. The history of the occult, if any of the facts can be verified is really, chock full of the quest for power and power seems to demand some type of sacrifice. It's weird and interesting. For all the Timothy Leary's out there, chasing mystical experiences for benign purposes we should at least accept that there will be a few Himlers out there chasing mystical experiences to fulfill fantasies of power.

Yeah, Little Nell... Dickens wrote a weird little serialized horror story. Little Nell was always wandering, never safe, never safe, never safe. Scary stuff.

Rosenbaum 3/2/2009 2:52:53 AM

 Little Nell,

Fair point.  I suppose the truth is I've never read anything sensible about the Nazis and the occult. I'm only at the Indiana Jones level!

As a small child I was taken to the grave (subsequently proved to be a hoax) of Little Nell in Tong in the English Midlands, the location where the end of The Old Curiosity Shop takes place.  It left a strong impression, which I'd completely forgotten until I saw your nom de plume.

Abeline

 

 

LittleNell1824 3/2/2009 6:05:24 AM

Whenever we try to mix the words "sensible" and "occult" we enter the land of cognitive dissonance and go completely blind. LoL 

This is why my perspective is so skewed: When I was in high school, I knew a couple boys who were exploring occult ritual. (I don't think it was the nice Gardnerian occult ritual, either) These were nice looking, clean cut, college bound kids. But they were so greedy for the experience and they seemed so ruthless. When they invited me to join them, I wanted so much to do it, just to know exactly what they were up to (because I can't help myself) but my friends intervened and I realized they were right. These boys were off. They really seemed to feel that they had the right to hurt others to get what they wanted. Another friend had seen some impressive demonstrations from other "magicians" that had really frightened him. He might have witnessed some really good stage magic, or not... I've seen some weird things myself and still haven't figured out what it was all about.

The point is, people are out there experimenting with the occult all the time, and a lot of these people look completely normal. Sometimes it's really nice experimentation and sometimes it's really not.  And the really scary truth is that sometimes occult ritual works... often it doesn't, but when it does, weird things happen, houses are ruined, and people are hurt.

I guess it's sort of like experiencing a haunting. If it's never happened to you, you have no reason to believe it. But, once you've seen objects move on their own or seen full-body apparitions, you join the not-exclusive-as-you-might-think club of people who don't talk about what they've seen lest they be thought of as "not sensible".

Rosenbaum 3/2/2009 1:52:14 PM

 Little Nell,

I couldn't have put it better myself!  It was sloppy of me to write "sensible" when I should have brought in the element of the scientific/verifiable/objective.  If someone says that they have seen the royal family turn into reptilians (and I am not by any means a monarchist!), I want something more than their words.  Of course, we all - after a certain age/set of life experiences - encounter phenomena which we cannot explain - but I wouldn't think anyone would enter into a conversation with me, if I were to say that I can float from building to building or that I am Hitler's and Diana Mitford's love-child.  (Both are true, by the way!)

Abeline

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