12-19-2012, 03:07 AM
Well, since Suwako Moriya is apparently gone forever, it seems it's fallen to me to carry out this yearly ritual.
Just when you thought no one would make this thread, everyone's favorite damsel-in-distress holiday needs to be saved yet again from the clutches of evil. That holiday must be the unholy child of Princess Peach and Mokuba Kaiba.
Which anime characters should/will save Christmas this year, and from whom?
12-26-2012, 06:14 AM
Well, now that this thread finally has over 100 views, I'll post my reply. Not really, I just ran out of time. I was going to write a short story but... that didn't happen. So. Hm. Well...
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was supposed to deliver presents. However, he had a terrible and vexing sore throat. The thought of going out on the sleigh in such condition was too much for his poor old heart to bear. "Fuck it," he said, "I guess we'll have to cancel Christmas".
"I think not," said a voice behind him. He turned in bewilderment to see the ominous visage of Black Rock Shooter.
"How did you get in here?" he asked. "No one should be able to pass through my barrier without me knowing..."
"I will heal your ailment," said BRS, ignoring his question. Before he could utter another word, she had disappeared, fading into the shadows.
BRS knew that she must find the Mystical Hot Chocolate which would cure his sore throat right quick. She also knew that it was upon the great and ominous Mount Moon. She wasted no time in going there, for she could not bear to think of children suffering for lack of presents. For she did in fact have a heart beneath here cold and pale exterior. And the blue flames of her eyes did shine most brightly in the night.
When she came upon Mt. moon, she discovered three hikers. They wielded baseball bats with spikes affixed to them. Also one of them had a machine gun.
"Get off our mountain little missy" one said, "or we're gonna have to smash your skull up somethin' fierce".
"I come to take the the Mystical Hot Chocolate, which belonged to my ancestors in the days before the serpent took root here. It is rightfully mine" she said.
"I don't give a fuck," rebutted the hiker. "Die!!!" He took a venomous swing at her with his club while the other two drew their weapons. But BRS, seeing this, drew from her cloak a Benz knife and killed them with it. Their screams were short but bitter, and their blood adorned her from head to toe.
However, BRS, being distracted momentarily by her victory, was taken by surprise by a blow to the head from behind. It was a machoke throwing a rock at her. It approached her threateningly and made to punch her in the face. But she blocked it's mega punch with her open palm, exerting almost no effort at all to do so. A look of shock, then horror flashed across its face. It knew it was surely about to die. But BRS said:
"Go now. I have no desire to play games with my enemies' pets."
She knew she was losing time, and sprinted hurriedly up the mountain. She came upon a large lake surrounding the mouth of cave, where she knew the Mystical Hot Chocolate was located. She was about to walk into the water when it began to bubble.
"Fool serpent," she said. "Thou revealest thy face too readily, if thou wouldst threaten me."
For as she said this, a gyrados rose up out of the waters and glared venomously at her with its scary face. And it spake to her:
"Long have I wanted to eat thy succulent flesh, thou tasty morsel, thou BRS."
It started to use hydro pump on her, but she easily countered it with a perfectly and instantaneously executed water dragon jutsu.
As the water cleared, BRS cast aside her Benz knife, and drew her sword. She raised it and said "koi."
The Gyrados was enraged by her pun, and said in anger, "ten thousand years have passed since I was ever so weak! No die, thou weak and stupid girl!!!!!!!" It used hyper beam on her, obliterating much of the landscape. But she easily dodged it, fast though it was, for no man or Pokemon was faster than she.
The gyrados soon realized its mistake, and looked upon her with dread. It would now need to recharge one full turn, and she also could focus her power in the interval.
"You can't cut me," it said, knowing how wrong it was. "That sword couldn't even-"
But BRS easily jumped forth and cut it's throat, causing blood to spray out upon her body, and pressed harder and harder until the monster's very head shot off, and a torrent of blood burst out, irrigating the land, and staining the mountainside red.
Soon both head and body sunk into the sea.
BRS swam deftly through the water, not stopping to wash her blood stained face, although most of the blood did come off therein. She found the Mystical Hot Chocolate in the cave, and brought it out, and took it to the kitchen of Old Saint Nick. There she mixed it in a big cup with hot water, and took it to Father Christmas.
"Drink" she said.
He did so, not daring to wait a second longer, for his throat felt as if it were on fire. The chocolate burned most vexingly at first, but with each swallow, it grew easier and more delicious. Before he had even finished the cup, Chris Kringle was cured.
"Ho ho ho. Thank you very much. I think I'll lie down and take a nice Santa-nap."
"No," said BRS. "I don't think you will."
"Heh heh heh- I mean ho, ho, ho- I was only joking. Christmas isn't canceled after all!" he said with a blush. And so he gave many presents that night to children all around the world. And though history will not remember her name, Black Rock Shooter knew in her heart that she had saved Christmas.
Hm that actually did end up being a short story. Not quite what I originally intended, but much better than last year.
Merry Christmas everyone.
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