With the recent release of Fast 5, I have realized that since my interest in Initial D and cars in general grew that I have begun to dislike the Fast & Furious movies with a passion, and Film Brain's recent review
of 2 Fast 2 Furious has made me want to write up on the reasons why I don't like them.
- The acting. Paul Walker is so bland he could easily have been cast in the Star Wars prequels. And I've never been a fan of Vin Diesel either.
- The script. "Honda Civics with SPOON engines." "YEEEAAHH HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES BRO?" Oscar level scriptwriting, everyone.
- The soundtrack. Processed hip-hop is obnoxious and irritating.
- The CGI. If you want your movie to be a realistic depiction of street racing, don't make it turn into Need For Speed Underground about halfway through a race. Which leads to:
- The total unrealism in the first 2 movies. Nitrous oxide does not work that way. It is meant to be a way of squeezing a little more power out of the car's engine and does NOT send the whole thing into hyperspace. And don't even get me started on the GT-R engine that was supposedly swapped into a muscle car in Tokyo Drift.
- The cars. Dear god, the cars. A Toyota Supra looks snazzy with a good aero kit, but slapping a gigantic park bench wing on the thing makes it look like utter crap. The only decent looking car is the GT-R in 2F2F, and it gets totaled in the first few minutes of the movie. The RX-7 in Tokyo Drift would be nice had it not been painted in that godawful maroon-yellow paint scheme.
- Tokyo Drift as a whole. I didn't see it, and after hearing it was mostly just women, car chases, and about 5 minutes of actual drifting, I'm never going to bother seeing it at all.
- The arcade games. They're EVERYWHERE. As much fun as they probably are, there are better racing games out there. And who wants to drive a Nissan Silvia with a massive hot rod engine block protruding from the hood? I sure as hell don't.
So there you go. I don't like the franchise, I don't like the way it's going (it started with cars and now it's heist movies with cars?) and I'm never watching the movies.