April 8 April 14: ALF and Other '80s Sitcom Stars

By: Sonia Mansfield
Date: Monday, April 08, 2002

Isn't it nice to see ALF getting some work again?

First it was Mr. T. Now ALF. He popped up in some collect call commercials recently, putting to rest all those vicious rumors about his "untimely and unnatural demise."

I mean, last I heard he was spotted hanging out with Robert Downey, Jr. in some seedy club. Good for ALF. I'm glad that he didn't take not getting cast in GREG THE BUNNY too hard.

Now that ALF is on the upswing, can an E! TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY installment be far behind? Oh, I hope not. I can't wait to hear all about his downward spiral and his attempt at a comeback.

Yeah, so this whole ALF thing got me to thinking about some other 1980s sitcom stars that could use some work too.

Kirk Cameron from GROWING PAINS, the Bear from B.J. AND THE BEAR, K.I.T.T. from KNIGHT RIDER, Muffit from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA, the Scarecrow or Mrs. King from SCARECROW AND MRS. KING, the guy who wasn't Tom Hanks in BOSOM BUDDIES, or that adorable muppet that starred in that sitcom. Oh what was it called? I remember - Bob Newhart from NEWHART.

So anyway, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.

Monday, April 8

A startling

discovery about Dante and his corrupt cops results in a showdown between them and Sara in tonight's WITCHBLADE at 9 p.m. on TNT.

If you love CSI, and I know you do, then you'll totally dig HBO's AUTOPSY 8: DEAD GIVEAWAY, airing tonight at 8 p.m. It's a little gruesome at times, but it's fascinating and there's no Grissom saying things like, "Sometimes gambling is murder," and crap like that.

It's not exactly BOYS IN THE HOOD, but I'm sure Leprechaun In the Hood (Cinemax, 10:10 p.m.) is a fine film in its own right. Wow, can you smell that sarcasm?

TUESDAY, april 9

It's yet another rerun of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN at 8 p.m.). This is the one where the Legion of Nerds builds an invisibility ray and accidentally shoots the Slayer, who coincidentally just got a spiffy new haircut.

Andy gets another new officemate whose name also happens to be Andy in tonight's all-new ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE (Fox, 8:30 p.m.).

Clark loses his powers to another and Lex turns on him in tonight's SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). That figures.

It's 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. in tonight's all-new 24 (Fox, 9 p.m.) and Terry returns home, hoping to jog her memory. Lucky for her there's a bad guy waiting there with a gun to remind her of who she is.

Check out THE POWERPUFF GIRLS and SAMURAI JACK on the Cartoon Network starting at 8 p.m.

Johnny Five is alive on the Disney Channel. Yep, SHORT CIRCUIT in on at 8:30 p.m. Hey, maybe Johnny Five and ALF could do a show together. Now that would be something worth watching... well, at least once anyway.

WeDNESDAY, april 10

Dr. Phlox

declines to assist some aliens because of his ethical beliefs, which puts Archer in the difficult position of deciding whether to help a dying alien race, thereby altering the natural course of evolution in this repeat of ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.).

During a routine traffic stop, someone guns down Sheriff Donner as Sophia comes to his side not knowing if this will be their last moment together in tonight's WOLF LAKE on UPN at 9 p.m.

Bruce Campbell alert! THE ADVENTURES OF BRISCO COUNTY JR. is on TNN at 9 p.m.

Greg demands more input into the show after spending some time with a puppet-rights leader in tonight's all-new GREG THE BUNNY (Fox, 9:30 p.m.). Be careful Greg. You know, ALF did the same thing and look what happened to him. Wow, two mentions of ALF in one column. Not bad.

Comedy Central has got a whole hour of SOUTH PARK starting at 10 p.m. Sweeeet!

THURSDAY, april 11

Chris takes up with Quagmire when he feels neglected by Peter in tonight's all-new THE FAMILY GUY (Fox, 8 p.m.). Another episode of THE FAMILY GUY airs at 9 p.m., but it is a rerun.

Alison puts Jimmy in charge of making Sweetknuckle Junction more hip in this repeat of GREG THE BUNNY (Fox, 8:30 p.m.). Trust me, you haven't lived until you've seen Count Blah try to a'ight.

Here's your second chance to see Andy dating a "hate spouting hottie" in this repeat of ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE (Fox, 9:30 p.m.).

The team investigates the sexual assault of a woman who was then shot and left for dead in tonight's CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.).

The lives of Cole and Leo hang in the balance as the ladies of CHARMED (WB, 8 p.m.) do battle with The Source. Ummm, they're doing battle with that hip-hop magazine? Why don't they just not read it?

BACK TO THE FUTURE (TBS, 7 p.m.) features the best Huey Lewis performance ever, not including the "I Want A New Drug" video, of course.

FRIDAY, april 12

Max must break her vow to avoid Logan after Joshua becomes a target of a transgenic manhunt in the sewers in tonight's all-new DARK ANGEL (Fox, 9 p.m.).

Turner is approached by a disgraced Gulf War vet who wants his name cleared, and becomes embroiled in a ruthless cover-up at a nuclear facility in tonight's all-new STRANGE WORLD (Sci Fi Channel, 8 p.m.).

Crichton begins

his gambit to thwart Scorpius' efforts of mastering wormhole technology by meeting with his archenemy aboard a Peacekeeper command carrier in tonight's FARSCAPE (Sci Fi Channel, 9 p.m.), the first of a two-parter.

The crew is subjected to unnerving hallucinations after they accept a gift in tonight's LEXX (Sci Fi Channel, 10 p.m.).

The charismatic leader of the Jaffa rebellion welcomes Teal'c and Bra'tac to the fight in tonight's STARGATE (Showtime, 10 p.m.).

An assault on a woman sends Jeremiah off to seek a mysterious vaccine, while Kurdy discovers some surprising secrets about his past in tonight's JEREMIAH (Showtime, 10:45 p.m.).

Remember in DIE HARD (FX, 7:30 p.m.) when Bruce Willis had to walk across the floor that was covered in glass? Remember? That was awesome.

SATURDAY, april 13

You know what's really sad? VOLCANO (ABC, 9 p.m.), one of two crappy volcano movies to come out in 1997, wasn't even the worst movie that year. Sad, but true. You see, VOLCANO was spared that title because BATMAN & ROBIN came out that year too.

Ewwwww. USA is airing WATERWORLD at 8 p.m. Surely, there is something else the network could air. I mean, what about all those POLICE ACADEMY and PORKY'S movies?

ABC Family has got WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY at 8 p.m. Personally, I don't like it, but other people seem to love it.

Check out THE ABYSS on Encore at 7 p.m.

SUNDAY, april 14

Aspiring to become a great cook, Bender is coached by a legend before competing against a vaunted TV chef who initially ignored him in tonight's all-new FUTURAMA (Fox, 7 p.m.). Talk about your Iron Chefs. (Wah-wah) Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Kahn covets membership in an all-Asian country club, but it's Hank who's asked to join - as a token white to secure a PGA tournament in tonight's all-new KING OF THE HILL (Fox, 7:30 p.m.). I'm sure there's really an all-Asian country club in Texas. Another all-new episode of KING OF THE HILL airs at 8:30 p.m.

It's the return of Artie Ziff (Jon Lovitz) in this repeat of THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 8 p.m.) in which Artie offers the Simpsons $1 million for a weekend alone with Marge.

An FBI accountant talks Doggett and Reyes into investigating a boy's claim that monsters killed his mother in tonight's all-new THE X-FILES (Fox, 9 p.m.). Now they're getting cases for the FBI accountant. Great. Now we really have seen everything on THE X-FILES.

David and Keith rekindle their relationship in tonight's all-new SIX FEET UNDER (HBO, 9 p.m.).

Syd's torn between following her heart and finding her mother after Noah offers her a way out of SD-6 in tonight's all-new ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.).

UPN is giving you a second chance to catch last Wednesday's ENTERPRISE tonight at 9 p.m.

Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.