August 19 August 25: I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Widescreen

By: Devin D. O'Leary
Date: Monday, August 19, 2002

I don't blame Sonia Mansfield for ditching out on her duties during the height of the summer doldrums. Everybody deserves a vacation, and it's awfully hard to work up enthusiasm for the third FRIENDS rerun of "The One Where Rachel Tells." Me, I got so fed up, I went out and bought a widescreen high-definition television. It takes my DVD collection to a whole new level and makes 30 SECONDS TO FAME seem somehow grand. (...OK, not really.)

Now, I'm not even going to get into the whole "HDTV" debate. So few shows utilize it, even fewer stations actually broadcast it, and by the time it becomes mandatory, I'm thinking the Olsen Twins will be working on their first divorces. No, I bought my fancy new set for the sole purpose of seeing movies in their full, correct aspect ratio. Now, if you're one of those casual viewers who doesn't get the whole widescreen/full screen thing, lemme break it down for you. Televisions are square. Their "aspect ratio" (width to height) is a measly 4:3. Movie screens are rectangular. Their aspect ratio is a generous 16:9. When movie are shown on TV, they get their extremities lopped off. You can watch a movie on widescreen mode on a regular TV, but you'll end up with black bars on the top and bottom of your screen, and the picture will be trapped in a tiny band in the middle of your TV.

Me, I wanna see movies in all their rectangular glory, and I gotta say, a widescreen TV is the only way to go. What has struck me since I bought this digital bad boy, however, is the number of television shows that are now being broadcast in widescreen. Just about any night of the week, I can find a show that fits nicely on my 16:9 TV screen.

THE X-FILES was

shooting in widescreen since the fifth season. Unfortunately, Fox only broadcast it in full screen, and fans had to wait until DVD to catch the show in all its anamorphic glory. Fox did broadcast last season's hit show 24 in widescreen, howevergood thing, since the show's split screen format demanded a bigger playing field.

Ratings topper ER has spent several seasons putting together a widescreen show, as has fellow NBC drama The West Wing. UPN's Enterprise went where no Trek has gone before by showing the series in widescreen format as well.

The move toward widescreen TV shows has less to do with artsy-fartsy aspirations (although that's part of it) and more to do with the future of reruns. Any TV producer worth his or her salt spends the day thinking about rerun revenues. Slowly, Americans are moving toward high-definition and widescreen gadgets. Eventually, all TVs sold in America will have these innovations. 20 years from now, a TV show shot in widescreen will fit in just fine, whereas a crappy full screen episode of YES, DEAR will look so 2002 ...at least that's what we can hope.

Well, I'd better break out the old pickaxe and start mining though this week's pile of reruns for the few scraps of fool's gold to be found. As always, for safety's sake, check those local listings.

MONDAY, AUGUST 19

Unsuspecting people are ambushed on the street and forced to answer trivia questions in the new gameshow OBLIVIOUS (TNN, 7 p.m.).

If you're a teen, you may choose to watch THE 2002 TEEN CHOICE AWARDS on Fox at 8 p.m. I'm guessing no one over the age of fifteen would actually choose to hear Jennifer Love Hewitt sing.

E!'s new series ROYALTY A-Z kicks off at 8 p.m. with a portrait of hunky young Prince William. For some reason, actress Rose McGowan (who once dated Marilyn Manson) and singer Emma Bunton (better known as "Baby Spice") are among the interviewees.

Willem Dafoe and Christopher Walken star in THE NEW ROSE HOTEL (IFC, 8:30 p.m.), an adaptation of William Gibson's cyberpunk short story. It's not that great a film, but I'll be watching it for co-star Asia Argento (hotand I mean hotoff XXX).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 20

MARRIED... WITH CHILDREN and SAVED BY THE BELL both get roasted on tonight's RERUN SHOW (NBC, 8 p.m.). David Faustino ("Bud Bundy") and Dustin Diamond ("Screech") are guest stars. Hey, at least the boys can pay rent this month.

Sarah Michelle Gellar hallucinates on tonight's BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.).

Lex Luthor gets robbed by three masked bandits on SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). This is just the kind of thing that could scar a kid for life.

THE PERILS OF PENELOPE PITSTOP airs at 9:30 p.m. on Boomerang. Supposedly, Reese Witherspoon wants to star in a live-action remake. So long as they keep the pink car.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 21

Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell stage a mini QUANTUM LEAP reunion on tonight's ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.).

Hip hop duo N.E.R.D. perform LIVE FROM THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME (MTV 8 p.m.). N.E.R.D.? What, did they steal the keys?

I've probably

seen Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward fight giant worms in TREMORS (TNT, 9 p.m.) at least a dozen times. I'm sure I'll see it a dozen more.

Chuck Norris unleashes his kung fu skills on an evil serial killer in 1988's HERO AND THE TERROR (TNN, 9 p.m.). I'm thinking a little martial arts action sure would have livened up HANNIBAL.

The Sundance Channel will be playing Kiyoshi Kurosawa's masterful 1997 film CURE at 11 p.m. It's a creepy, modern horror story about a police detective trying to figure out why average, ordinary citizens are suddenly overcome with a mysterious urge to slaughter people around them. It's very slow, very weird and will freak you out big time.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 22

AMC is showing BACHELOR PARTY at 8 p.m. Tom Hanks is pretty funny, but I'm not convinced any movie with a cocaine-snorting donkey is an American Movie Classic.

OK, A&E is running their MAKING OF LATHE OF HEAVEN special (11:30 p.m.), like, every other day. Do I really have to wait until September to see the mini-series? Tease me with it, why don't you.

Samuel L. Jackson, Pam Grier, Melvin van Peebles and Quentin Tarantino deconstruct the "blaxploitation" genre in BAADASSSSS CINEMA (IFC 9:45 p.m.).

FRIDAY, AUGUST 23

If there's a cooler show than the TRANSFORMERS: ARMADA series debuting today on Cartoon Network, I'd like to see it. Today's 90-minute intro movie to the weekly series starts at 4 p.m. (Set your VCRs.) It's got Decepticons and Autobotswhat more could you ask for?

YOGI'S GALAXY GOOF-UPS invades Boomerang at 7 p.m. You can't fool me though; bears can't fly spaceships.

If you want to see it again (I sure don't) USA is rebroadcasting the ghostly, but boring STEPHEN KING'S ROSE RED beginning at 8 p.m.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 24

AMC debuts

its newest documentary, ONCE UPON A TIMESERGIO LEONE, at 4:05 p.m. This one-hour doc traces the career of the king of Spaghetti Westerns and is followed by screenings of ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST and ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA.

Turner Classic Movies gives us a 6-film tribute to the late, great Humphrey Bogart. "Remembering Bogie" starts at 8:15 p.m. with 1949's TOKYO JOE, and continues on with classics like THE MALTESE FALCON and CASABLANCA.

William Shatner plays host to the cheesy sci-fi western OBLIVION on Sci-Fi Channel's FULL MOON FRIGHT NIGHT at 11 p.m.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 25

If you're still hyped on Sergio Leone from yesterday's AMC documentary, you can catch A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS and FOR A FEW DOLLARS MORE starting at 7:30 a.m. Three more Clint Eastwood films follow, which ought to be plenty.

King of the surf documentary Bruce Brown (THE ENDLESS SUMMER) turned his sporting attentions to motocross racing in the high-flying 1971 flick ON ANY SUNDAY (TCM 10 p.m.). It's co-produced and narrated by Steve McQueen, so it's gotta be cool.

Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.