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Batteries Not Included: Part II

By popular demand, another look at your favorite toy commercials

By Carlos Mejia     February 12, 2007


Crossfire
© N/A

Batteries Not Included gave you ten classic toy commercials and from the response everyone enjoyed their trip down memory lane. Here now are ten more classic commercials spanning the last 30 years. Enjoy them and just like last time, if you don’t like what you see below, sound off and say what’s the classic toy commercial that you still can’t get out of your head!

 
Action Jackson by Mego

Although he sounds like a character from a 70s exploitation film, Action Jackson was Mego’s attempt to compete with Hasbro’s very popular G.I. Joe series in the seventies. The theme of the commercial however is similar to something you would hear in a James Bond film, giving Jackson that much needed sex appeal towards mothers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkqaUAhK28k

Centurions by Kenner

Does any one remember Centurions? It was a short-lived, sci-fi animated series in the mid 80s that spawned a toy line. The figures were actually cool, well articulated for the time and came with an endless amount of weapons that could snap onto the body armor of the characters. Relive your Centurion toy days or learn about what you’ve missed with the link below.

http://retrojunk.com/details_commercial/3315/

He-Man & the Masters of the Universe by Mattel

This is probably the worst He-Man commercial ever as it involves no action whatsoever. The reason why I put it up because during its peak, every new character in MOTU would get his (or its) own commercial and that proves the overwhelming popularity of the franchise at the time. Also what was with all the He-Man chanting?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BZ4tFGjiZs

Kid Sister by Playskool

You can’t have a My Buddy commercial without mentioning Kid Sister, which appealed to the (I can only assume) large demographic of little girls, who also happen to be an only child. The worst thing about the commercial other than the concept is the singing. It’s worst than the best stuff on auditions week on American Idol.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXKWK-rauOM

Star Wars by Kenner

The commercial starts off with C-3PO saying “Star Wars! You and your children loved it.” That’s pretty shameless, but it gets better with 3PO saying how these toys are “truly remarkable for you and your children.” Even though the commercial shamelessly boasted the product, they were right and it worked. Kenner and Hasbro have been selling us the same crappy 3-¾ inch figures since then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buum8rXetaE

Superman by Mego

You can’t talk toys without mentioning the classic Mego toy line. The amazing thing about these figures is that they resemble the likeness of Terrance Stamp, Marlon Brando, and Christopher Reeve as Zod, Jor-El and Superman. Also, why would Jor-El team up with Superman to fight Luthor and Zod? Isn’t Jor-El…I don’t know, DEAD? Just a small technicality I guess.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLU7xFuNTms

Teddy Ruxpin by Playskool

I never owned a Teddy Ruxpin doll and I’m kind of glad that I didn’t. Watching this commercial reminds me of something from an Isaac Asimov short story. Despite that it’s funny to watch the kids in the commercial make fun of the kid who brought in Ruxpin for “Show and Tell”. Relive the toddler’s trash talk one another.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EshrR-xk2E

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles by Playmates

This commercial is a reminder of how there was a fad in action figures with gooey ooze in the early 90s. Sure it was fun, but the ooze made everything a complete mess, and left you’re figures sticky and pretty much never the same. The Turtles specialized in ooze as that stuff created them right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7zq5A352Fs

WWF by Hasbro

What’s worse than making a living wrestling dressed as an oversized bumblebee? How about singing in a kid’s toy commercial where you’re telling children to bring home all the action? It’s hard to think that the 80s was a simpler time, but it was.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB1m3OD8njU

Crossfire by Milton Bradley

I included this last one because it’s a personal favorite of mine. The theme must have been sang by some washed up glam rock singer, and I love the commercial solely for that reason. Be forewarned, because you’ll get caught up in the, CROSSFIRE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IvZSyhGIfg

COMMENTS AND RESPONSES

Showing items 1 - 4 of 4
1 
vikingkitty 2/12/2007 7:55:10 AM
I had the Jake Rockwell Centurion figure. Looking back on it, the character has a name appropriate for "Boogie Nights."
nadiaoxford 2/12/2007 8:58:58 AM
My brother and I wanted Teddy Ruxpin to see if he would sing along to Bon Jovi if we put "Slippery When Wet" in the tape slot.
noblenonsense 2/12/2007 12:36:38 PM
I had a Teddy Ruxpin but I kept on hiding him throughout the house. He freaked me out. But my mom kept finding him so I started to cry. Needless to say he was not a favorite part of my childhood...
goatartist 2/12/2007 3:18:14 PM
YOU"LL GET CAUGHT UP IN THE.. CROSSFIRE! What an Ill song. You know what sucked about crossfire, there was always one gun that shot the balls out at half the speed as the other one, which was insanely frustrating, but the theme song made it all worth while.
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