Battle Can Can - Mania.com



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Mania Grade: D-

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Info:

  • Audio Rating: B-
  • Video Rating: C+
  • Packaging Rating: C+
  • Menus Rating: N/A
  • Extras Rating: N/A
  • Age Rating: 18 & Up
  • Region: 1 - North America
  • Released By: Kitty Media
  • MSRP: 9.95
  • Running time: 30
  • Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1
  • Disc Resolution: 480i/p (mixed/unknown)
  • Disc Encoding: MPEG-2
  • Series: Battle Can Can

Battle Can Can

By Chris Beveridge     May 19, 2004
Release Date: April 13, 2004


Battle Can Can
© Kitty Media


What They Say
Join this band of femme fatales as they sacrifice their dignity to save the galaxy from unsavory space pirates. To solve their cases, they battle the bad guys, rescue stolen treasure, and wrestle space aliens. No job is too big, no humiliation is too great, and no alien has too many tentacles to keep them from the big score.

On their latest mission, the Battle Can-Can girls are out to retrieve a stolen artifact known as the Cosmic Firefly, a gorgeous but fragile jewel worth many billions of dollars, much more than what they make in a year! In order to return it to the rightful owners, they must subdue the most vicious space pirates, have sex with aliens, and confront a traitor from within!

The Review!
Kitty cleans out some more of its hentai backlog in what can politely be called shovelware.

Audio:
For our primary viewing session, we listened to this OVA in its original language of Japanese. Japanese is also the only language available on here, as it's never been dubbed. Encoded as a stereo mix, the show has a very mono feel due to its age with the bulk of the dialogue and action effects being center channel oriented. It's mostly clear though there's a touch if hiss and scratchiness in a few places, but again that's more attributable to age than anything else.

Video:
Originally released to video back in 1987, Battle Can Can's transfer is fairly decent but nothing exceptional. There's a fair amount of grain throughout it that gives some scenes a bit of a fuzzier look than normal. Cross coloration is minimal and there's some aliasing during some of the busier action scenes. Colors look decent if fairly flat. Well, except for the glowing penis'. Overall it's a serviceable transfer but feels like little more than a port of the VHS version.

Packaging:
Generally you get good cover designs out of the Media Blasters group of titles, but this Kitty one just doesn't have much to work with. There's a shot of the trio of girls along the top set with an overdose of sunlight draped across them while the logo takes up the middle third of the cover. Just so you know there's some science fiction involved, the bottom portion shows off a planet and a satellite over it. Looking at the cover you get the feel that this is a release that time forgot. The back cover is more traditionally styled with a decent summary of the shows premise, a few shots from the show and the usual array of production and technical information. The insert has the chapter stops on one side and the other side is advertisements for other shows.

Menu:
None.

Extras:
None.

Content: (please note that content portions of a review may contain spoilers)
Insert tape master into player, hook up to recording equipment and encode is the name of the game here. Battle Can Can is a dump of what the VHS is ? so much so that I believe the ten minutes of trailers at the start of the show are all what was new when this was originally released by Kitty. Thankfully you can skip past those trailers though and go right into the show, since there's no menu to be found.

And make sure you enjoy hard subtitles since it's the same print the VHS run used.

Battle Can Can is a story that after watching I don't want to spend much time talking about. It takes place in the far future where there's a lot of piracy in the space lanes so some organization forms a group that will deal with these trouble makers. Enter the group of 'femme fatales' that are the best of the best of the galaxy. These women take on the various missions that are required to take down the bad guys and save the space lanes from the evils of the pirates and their thieving plans. The group has just gotten a new assignment, to retrieve the priceless artifact known as the Cosmic Firefly. They figure out who has it pretty quickly, so our 80's glam girls just have to hit the ship up where it is and try to spirit it out of there before most of them are found out.

It goes terribly wrong along the way. Harkening back to a day when bad hentai meant you'd bloody up the girls through mindless violence, only a few members of the team survive (best of the best my ass. And how come out of an entire galaxy they could only find five?). The pirates figure out who they are pretty fast once they're on board so they take the women down one by one. One woman is treated to a glowing vibrator that will explode once it senses that the person its in has climaxed. She freaks out about it but can't stop her thrilling, much to the gents pleasure. So what does she do? She trips him up and then straddles him with the vibrator still in her and makes sure it's on top of his dick. "You're going to die with me!" she screams as she really gets into the motion. Her eventual collapse from climaxing is quickly followed up by said vibrator exploding and killing them.

Another woman finds herself getting the pleasure of a strange alien who uses his head as a giant dick and just keeps thrusting himself into her. She's loving it since he's obviously pretty sizeable but she's still able to take him in. When they find out that she's a distraction and the others are stealing the Cosmic Firefly, the alien gets pissed and subsequently jams himself head first into her again, literally ripping her lower half in half. And just to get their point across, they dangle her from a rope in the middle of the room upside down after she's died just to show what mean guys they are.

Battle Can Can features some sex scene throughout it but it either ends with the women stopping and beating the crap out of the unknowing men they're screwing with or it ends with the women being tortured, exploded or generally eviscerated. Show's like this make the schoolroom torture shows look like masterpieces.

In Summary:
With a retail price of 9.95, you're basically getting a DVD version of a VHS tape with no real difference between the two. If you can't find the VHS version for 99 cents out there these days and you're itching to complete your collection of bad hentai, then you should be able to get this for around 7 bucks. Otherwise, Battle Can Can is only for those who really revel in watching not just bad anime, but bad hentai. This is the kind of pain most people can do without, myself included. Some things were simply not meant to be seen on a 50" screen.

Features
Japanese Language,English Subtitles

Review Equipment
Panasonic PT50LC13 50" LCD RP HDTV, Panasonic RP-82 Progressive Scan codefree DVD player, Sony STR-DE835 DD/DTS receiver, Monster component cable and Panasonic SB-TP20S Multi-Channel Speaker System With 100-Watt Subwoofer.

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