Dr. Phlox (John Billingsley) thinks he may be seeing hallucinations in the ENTERPRISE episode "Doctor's Orders".
© UPN
ENTERPRISE in Danger of Cancellation
By: Andrew HershbergerDate: Monday, February 16, 2004
Based on Actual Television Shows
Greetings Cinescapers! Well folks it looks like STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE is in danger of being cancelled and let me tell you people are already starting to dance in the streets. Of course there are some that want the show to stay on the air no, not masochists, but I'm sure some masochists would be in favor of its continuation and for them and, I guess, all Sci-fi/Fantasy Genre fans the question on everybody's lips is "Will it, or won't it?" Well, everybody's but yours truly that is, cause somebody didn't do their research. (I'll give you a hint, it's the person who wrote the last sentence, and come to think of it, this one as well.)
Instead, TV Wasteland will post the responses to Matthew A. Reed's question from two weeks ago. You know the one; given the recent success of books faithfully being adapted for the big screen, what books would [you] like to see made into TV series?
(Note: answers have been edited and some, particularly the Penthouse Forum one, will not be posted at all.)
"Any book by Vince Flynn; Patrick Robinson; BIRDS OF PREY by Wilbur Smith; LAST OF THE BREED by Louis L'amour; POINT OF IMPACT by Stephen Hunter; [and] RISING PHOENIX by Kyle Mills." (-Alan Wing)
"Stephen R. Donaldson's THOMAS COVENANT, THE UNBELIEVER series, his GAP series, [and] the SHANARA series." (-Matthew A. Reed)
"Diane Duane's THE TALE OF FIVE series; Lloyd Alexander's TALES OF PRYDAIN series; C.S. Lewis' TALES OF NARNIA (Right on! AH); [and] any of Barbara Hambly's fine series DRAGONSBANE, DRAGONSTAR and DRAGONSHADOW and THE WINDROSE CHRONICLES." (-Grumpy Old Woman)
"Edgar Rice Burroughs' JOHN CARTER OF MARS series" (-Brian Patterson) (Thank you Brian! I was so going to fake somebody sent this one in, if you hadn't sent this one in! AH)
"THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE and BATMAN: NO MAN'S LAND" (-Leigh H. from Wilmington, OH)
"JUST FRIENDS" (-JV)
"As a fan of author Harry Stephen Keeler, I'd love to see his books become TV miniseries." (Brian Thomas, author of VIDEOHOUND'S DRAGON: ASIAN ACTION & CULT FLICKS available everywhere, including The American Museum of the Moving Image bookshop.)
"WUZZIE WINKLE AND FRIENDS: A FIRST YEAR READING PRIMER" (-Andrew Hershberger. I haven't finished it yet, but it's really good, with characters I can relate to and situations I can sort of comprehend. Every page is covered in pretty, pretty colors and the corners are great to chew on.)
"VIDEOHOUND'S DRAGON: ASIAN ACTION & CULT FLICKS by Brian Thomas, then I would only have to buy one 75,896 DVD set instead of all the films individually, I'd also like to see a mini-series made out of that Leonard Maltin book." (-Huge Genre Fan)
In other news this week I've added N.Y.P.D. BLUE, so there.
Got a letter for me, send it to TVWasteland@cinescape.com.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 16
THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS (8 pm, Nik) Timmy wishes the world would mirror his comic books. Timmy's father wishes the world would mirror his pornography collection.
MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME (8 pm, FX) After the delirious heights of THE ROAD WARRIOR, the third and, so far, final chapter in the MAD MAX saga succeeds mainly in disappointing.
EVERWOOD (9 pm, WB) Emphram declares his love with less then stellar results; as is wont to be expected from one who wears their heart so shamelessly on their sleeve.
CSI: MIAMI (10 pm, CBS) When a photographer is murdered it's usually because they witnessed a murder. After all that's how David Hemmings character in BLOW-UP died ... oh wait, he didn't die, he wound up playing fake tennis with a bunch of mimes. Please, forget I exist.
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 17
AUTUMN IN NEW YORK (8 pm, FAM) Winona Ryder dies. Perfect for kids.
HAPPY GILMORE (8 pm, USA) Back-to-back showings of the Adam Sandler classic, just in case you missed some of the more subtle nuances the first time around.
BLAME IT ON RIO (8 pm, OXYGEN) Michael Caine sleeps with his best friends daughter. Directed by Stanley Donen of SINGIN' IN THE RAIN, CHARADE and LUCKY LADY fame.
24 (9:00 pm, FOX) 2 am 3 am. Chappelle confronts Jack about his drug use. Asks him to share.
N.Y.P.D. BLUE (10 pm, ABC) A Jewish merchant is killed in a possible hate crime as opposed to a love crime.
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 18
ENTERPRISE (8 pm, UPN) The crew is put in a sleep state in order The Stargate Command loses one of their finest in "Heroes, Part Two". © Sci Fi Channel
SMALLVILLE (8 pm, WB) A powerful new girl starts becoming possessive of Clark, causing one viewer to quip, "How come all my dreams happen to Superman?"
ANGEL (9 pm, FOX) While trying to stop a children's show from stealing its viewers' lives, Angel says "I liked this story better when it was called HALLOWEEN III."
THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING (10 pm, TCM) A little Rudyard Kipling goes a long way, in this, arguably the best adaptation of the author's work this side of GUNGA DIN.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19
PLANET OF THE APES (8 pm, FOX) Dr. Phlox (John Billingsley) thinks he may be seeing hallucinations in the ENTERPRISE episode "Doctor's Orders". © UPN
CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (9 pm, CBS) During an investigation of a murdered of a millionaire and his wife, one of the team steals a nice pen from the dead man's desk.
GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS (9:45 pm, IFC) Never has Kevin Spacey played a more compassionate character then he does here; the feel good movie of the millennium.
WITHOUT A TRACE (10 pm, CBS) A missing women's sexual history is revealed, one of the team says, "Did we really need to know all that?" A different member of the team steals a copy of the Kama Sutra off the missing women's bookshelf.
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20
JOAN OF ARCADIA (8 pm, CBS) God tells Joan to jump rope. When Joan says, "Why?" God says "I SAID JUMP ROPE!"
TREMORS: THE SERIES (8 pm, SCIFI) Something is draining the life from persons in Perfection. Tim Curry as Dr. Frank N. Furter in THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW © 20th Century Fox
STARGATE SG-1 (9 pm, SCIFI) A key member of the team dies. No it's not that lovable talking dog sidekick ... wait, am I even talking about the right show?
REBA (8 pm, WB) What's that Reba up to? Something hysterical, I bet.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21
AIRPORT (8 pm, TCM) Working at an airport isn't all fun, games and baggage theft, things happen. Awful things! Things only George Kennedy Lorne (Andy Hallett) holds Angel the puppet in "Smile Time". © The WB Television Network
TEEN TITANS (9 pm, TOON) Starfire changes, becomes less powerful Campfire.
THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW (10 pm, BRAVO) Now you can throw rice, chuck toilet paper and crack wise in the safety of your own VCR/DVD player-less home. So sad.
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (11:30, NBC) Somebody famous hosts, somebody popular plays music, somebody drags a sketch on too long, somebody changes to MAD TV.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22
CHARMED (8 pm, WB) Leo and Piper are sent to another plane of existence. Phoebe and Paige immediately start dividing Piper's cloths between the two of them.
SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE (8 pm, TCM) Silly Jor-El sends his son to Earth, where the boy makes a living lifting trucks at freak shows.
THE SIMPSONS (8 pm, FOX) Lisa becomes envious of Maggie. Envious enough to kill? Watch and find out.
DAZED AND CONFUSED (8 pm, Comedy) Amusing comedy from the director of SCHOOL OF ROCK.
Until next week if you live in New York City be sure to check out Bernardo Bertolucci's 1900 at the American Museum of the Moving Image on Sunday Feb, 22, and/or THE UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG at the Film Forum, playing till Thursday. If you do not live in New York, well I guess there's no chance I'll be hitting you up for change on the subway.
For the love of all things holy, write me at Tvwasteland@cinescape.com
TV Wasteland is our weekly Television column.
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