Bringing Home the BONE, Part 4 - BONE-ing Up

A quick primer to all things BONE

By Arnold T. Blumberg     September 14, 2002

Now that Jeff Smith's fantasy saga, BONE, is nearing its conclusion (although there's still a year to go technically), this might be a good time to give all those readers who may just be discovering the title - or who have not yet dared to dive in to the world of the Bone brothers - a quick crash course in the series and its denizens. After this, phrases like "stupid, stupid rat creatures" and "the Great Cow Race" won't seem so alien. When the huge all-in-one Bone volume that Smith wants to publish hits the shelves somewhere down the road, you'll be able to pick it up without fear and explore the BONE universe with the best of them.

The Bone Brothers - The three protagonists of the series, vaguely resembling Walt Kelly's Pogo crossed with the Shmoo of Li'l Abner fame. These bald, alabaster-skinned little fellows are the catalysts for everything that's happened in the saga. Fone Bone is the principal hero, and he's a bit smitten with Thorn. Phoncible P. Bone is a slick con artist and a subject of some interest on the part of the main villain, the Hooded One. Smiley Bone is perhaps a little oblivious, which is why he tends to fall in with Phoney's schemes.

The Bone brothers began this 55-issue journey when they were run out of Boneville and separated by a swarm of locusts. They soon meet Thorn and Gran'ma and have a series of adventures that suggest a greater destiny for them all. Time will tell...

Thorn - She's an adventuring young woman with a hefty family legacy...plus there's this little bald guy named Fone Bone who thinks she's great.

Gran'ma - A surprisingly strong old lady, she races cows (hence the annual "Great Cow Race" at the Spring Fair) and even fought the "stupid, stupid rat creatures" in the "Big War." There's more to Gran'ma than meets the eye.

The Rat Creatures - These are some creepy critters all right. Large, hairy, bug-eyed and nasty, they're also pretty stupid (see, we told you it would all make sense) and serve the will of the Hooded One. Which reminds us...

The Hooded One - The mysterious "Darth Vader" of the Bone universe, he has a bizarre fixation on Phoney, and just might harbor a secret similar to Vader's - mark our words. But even he answers to a higher authority, known as...

The Lord of the Locusts - Could he be the instigator behind the Bone brothers' adventure in the first place? It's pretty likely - why else would he be in the story - but the answers certainly won't be revealed until the last few issues of the series.

And we haven't even mentioned the Red Dragon, Lucius Down, Kingdok, and Ted the Bug! But don't worry, that just means there's more to look forward to when you finally experience BONE for yourself.