Welcome to another edition of Superficial Slobber. The column which brings the spotlight on those gluttons of punishment. Celebrities. What needs to be said? They bring it on themselves most of the time and sometimes, they do it purposely just as a PR move. This week, we discuss Snoop Dogg being barred from whole countries, Eminem being “nice”, The Onion says “you’ll never read newspapers again!”, Martha Stewart wanting to buy whole towns (yes, you heard me), & Paris Hilton is in the news again (sorta).
Time to get jiggy with it, celebrity style.
Snoop Dogg barred from Britain:
British authorities have denied the rapper from receiving a visa into their country. This is the second time they’ve denied him a visa in a year and the reason for the failed attempt this time was over concerns that his concert appearance with Diddy on their current Pass the Puff tour would not be in the public's best interest. This is no small surprise given past history.
Snoop first got into trouble with U.K. officials in April of last year when he and his entourage were arrested on charges of violent disorder at London's Heathrow Airport after getting into a row with police and airport staff. Getting into a fight with police isn’t always the best way to accomplish future gigs. Hah. The fracas occurred after the group was refused entry into British Airway's first-class lounge because only three of them had first-class tickets. Seven officers were injured in the incident.
After spending the night in jail, Snoop and his party were released with a caution. However, British Airways banned the artist and his posse from all its future flights, and the government subsequently decided not to grant him an entry visa the following month.
Over mending fences, Dogg had this to say about it:
“I think if people could hear me saying this, they'd see I'm about peace, love and harmony," he added. "I can't control my drugs and gang-banging past. People can see that I now have a different identity and that I've changed my lifestyle around completely. We let the Beatles in the U.S.A., so please let me in here”
Snoop is funnier then hell and I’ve enjoyed most of his albums. I’m just thinking fighting with police isn’t exactly that message about “peace, love and harmony” he’s trying to promote.
That’s just my opinion though. :)
Eminem & Mathers decide to play “Nice”:
Another rapper story.
The long time couple-then ex couple-then couple again-then ex couple again have decided it’s in their best interest to play “nice” and tone down all the public dissing of each other apparently. The frequently sparring exes entered into a parental cooperation pact Monday morning that requires them to go easy on each other in public for the sake of their daughter, 11-year-old Hailie Jade.
Eminem, aka Marshall Mathers, had filed a motion requesting the verbal truce in Macomb County Circuit Court, claiming he was concerned about all the mud-slinging he had endured at the hands of his former missus, including recent TV and radio interviews in which she said that there is "nothing positive" between Eminem and Hailie.
I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling after reading that one. It seems incredibly ironic for anyone who’s ever listened to Eminem’s “Kim” song on the acclaimed “Marshall Mathers LP”.
Kim responded in court documents stating as much on Friday.
“This song is a detailed account of how he plans to murder Kim," read the filing obtained by the Detroit News. "It is heard every day by millions of people. It appears he was not so concerned at the time he wrote these lyrics of how a gruesome and detailed account of how he was gong to murder her mother would affect the minor child."
Mathers appeared in court Monday for a hearing, during which she spoke to Eminem in a teleconference, after which the two signed the parental cooperation order which states that the two must refrain from making public disparaging remarks about each other.
Ah. Isn’t it just wonderful to see two people seeing eye to eye. Peace and Love. Murder and Divorce. Agreement and Money. They’re such a happy couple. No, really.
Time to say goodbye to MTV’s Punk’d:
Sad, isn’t it?
Come on, I know you’ve caught a few shows when you’re extremely bored and you feel like seeing some celebrity get seriously messed with. MTV sucks major dingo kidneys but occasionally something comes on which catches your eyes when flipping the channel. From Justin Timberlake getting freaked out over a Feds raid of his house to a rapper crying when fake law pulled him over over after some shady setup. There have been moments where this show seriously put some celebrities in uncomfortable positions. Sometimes, they made utter fools of themselves and sometimes they acted very cool and composed when the chips fell.
I haven’t caught a show in a few years but there have been some memorable ones I remember from the earlier seasons.
MTV announced Monday that the eighth season of the hidden-camera show created by Ashton K. would be its final outing.
It’s been on that long?
To mark the celebrity-pranking series' sendoff, the network said it would air all eight episodes from the upcoming season back-to-back in a special "sneak peek marathon" on Apr. 7. The new season will then officially premiere on Apr. 10, as part of MTV's new Tuesday night lineup.
Oh well. I guess there’s no shortages of outlets to see celebrities make fools of themselves.
Martha Stewart’s ego is battling with a town:
No, folks. I’m being dead serious here. You may have heard or you may not have but Martha Stewart has wanted to license a town’s name in a marketing scheme of hers.
The population of Katonah, New York are in disagreement over this business venture. The business queen has been the subject of ongoing controversy in the Westchester County community since revealing in January that she wanted to license the town's name for use in her various business ventures.
Stewart already sells a high-end line of furniture called the Katonah Collection and has expressed interested in marketing a distinctive line of Katonah-inspired paint colors, in addition to other household products.
The Katonah Village Improvement Society voted Monday to allow its trademark committee to take the necessary steps to block the domestic diva from securing rights to the town's name.
The vote authorized the committee to spend up to $200 in legal costs in order to file formal opposition to Stewart's trademark application. The town has until Apr. 11 to make its case before the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
Oh dear lord.
$200 dollars in legal funds?
Oh yes, I see the town winning this one.
“The Onion” launches a newcast:
Well, this is effing sweet.
The spoof-happy newspaper has spawned the Onion News Network, or ONN, an online video newscast already billing itself as "the undisputed leader in 24-hour news."
Founded in December 1882 (Dewar's whiskey has been a proud sponsor since 1898), boasting channels in 171 languages and available in 4.2 billion households in 811 countries, according to the historical information available on the ONN Website, the Onion boasts in an online promo that "you'll never read again."
The new site debuted Tuesday and so far three clips are available for viewing under the guise that the century-old ONN is just finally being to digitize its vast archives.
"Our competitors are MSNBC and CNN," Sean Mills, president of the company that runs the Onion, said about the new venture, billed as "faster, harder, scarier and all-knowing."
Hah! This should be fun for spoof news lovers everywhere.
Halle Berry admits to suicide attempt:
The Oscar-winning actress has confessed to Parade magazine that she tried to commit suicide shortly after the failure of her first marriage to Atlanta Braves ball player David Justice.
Berry told the weekly magazine that she attempted to gas herself in her car but pulled out after realizing how "selfish" the act would be.
"I was sitting in my car, and I knew the gas was coming when I had an image of my mother finding me," she said. "She sacrificed so much for her children, and to end my life would be an incredibly selfish thing to do.It was all about a relationship. My sense of worth was so low," she said. "I had to reprogram myself to see the good in me. Because someone didn't love me didn't mean I was unlovable. I promised myself I would never be a coward again.”
She went on to marry again to a confessed sex addict named Eric Benet.
‘We were in sex rehab after one year. I wish I had left then, but I was putting everyone's needs before mine. If I hadn't gone through the first breakup and made that promise to myself, this would have leveled me. I would have walked into moving traffic.”
They would later divorce after 4 years of marriage after he publicly stated his sex addiction problems.
Now, she wants to move to another point in her life and become a mother.
“I've accomplished things I never thought I would. Now my sights are set on a different chapter in my life, which is motherhood. That's the goal I have very clearly set for myself."
Catwoman aside, I’m glad she didn’t go through with this suicide attempt because of a baseball player. She’s always been pretty damn cool and she’s been smoking hot for just as long.
Paris Hilton is facing 90 days in jail for Violation of Probation:
Hilton received 36 months probation and about $400 in fines and was ordered to attend an alcohol-education course after pleading no contest in January to one misdemeanor count of alcohol-influenced reckless driving, stemming from her In-N-Out Burger-inspired DUI bust last September.
The 26-year-old heiress violated her probation last month when police caught her driving with a suspended license, the Los Angeles City Attorney's Office announced Thursday, and she's facing a maximum 90-day jail sentence if a judge agrees.
“If Hilton knew that the DMV had temporarily revoked her driving privileges, "that would be a potential violation of her probation," City Attorney's Office spokesman states. "And we are confident that we have sufficient evidence to prove that her license was suspended and that she had knowledge of it at the time."
Meanwhile, Hilton's rep, Elliot Mintz, said last month that she was not aware that she was motoring around with a suspended license.
Paris didn’t know her license was suspended? Sure. Righttttt.