CHILDREN OF THE CORN

At a point between the decline of the drive-in/grindhouse era and the rise of direct-to-video features, there must not have been many remarkable horror films released in 1984. A lot of people of a certain age remember CHILDREN OF THE CORN as the first really scary movie they ever saw. With this information in hand, it's surprising to see just how un-scary the film really is. Working from a paranoid potboiler story by Stephen King, first time director Fritz Kiersch puts together some decent production values and nice imagery, but it's hard to see why the film was such a hit, spawning six totally uncalled for sequels. Maybe there's something in the premise itself that made it more frightening to the many youngsters unfazed by the R-rating.

Dr. Burton Stanton (Peter Horton, before finding fame on TV's thirtysomething) and his wife Vicky (Linda Hamilton, months before finding fame in THE TERMINATOR) are driving across the American Heartland, when they run into an obstacle literally their car smacking into a child stumbling onto the road. Though understandably upset, Burt is a good enough doctor to tell the boy had been murdered before they hit him, his throat slashed. Consulting an unhelpful mechanic (R.G. Armstrong), the couple is waylaid into maze of back roads until they make their way into a seemingly deserted small town.

As it turns out, the town is inhabited only by children, all of whom are under the control of boy preacher Isaac (John Franklin, who seems to give a fantastic performance if you don't know he was 16 at the time!) and his boy goon Malachai (Courtney Gains). The children are under the thrall of "He Who Walks Behind the Rows", some sort of Lovecraftian supernatural being of undetermined origin and abilities. At the command of this unseen monster, the kids have ganged up on the adults and slaughtered every adult in the area. This makes the Stantons automatic targets, but with the help of a few sympathetic youngsters, our heroes are determined to fight back against the wee terrors.

Horton and Hamilton are good actors, but here they're unable to overcome a catalogue of horror movie clichés in the script that forces them to make every stupid mistake in the book. They get separated. They wander off. They investigate strange noises. All in a situation they know is dangerous. Even Abbott & Costello were smarter about facing monsters. On top of this, it's difficult to take the kids seriously as a threat to two adults. There aren't really that many of them, and they're too naïve to be that much of a danger. And as for the monster, well...

On a commentrak he shares with producer Terrence Kirby, Gains and Franklin, Kiersch describes the revealed menace as a "killer cauliflower". We see a shifting in the sky or something plowing along underground, but at most it's just a shoddy blob of colors. It seems to be able to do just about anything a scene calls for, including completely possessing a human, but is unable to kill an adult without getting some little kids to help out. We're given no clue as to where this nasty beastie came from or why it's taking over the town or even why it likes corn so much. The participants are candid about the film's quality, but are pushing things when they refer to it as a "cult classic". Their attitude is actually a little condescending. CHILDREN features some nice shooting that accurately portrays the desolation of the location, but its plot deserves every kernel of popcorn thrown at the screen. Even as drive-in fare, viewers know stupid when they see it.

However, mindful of the film's status as camp if nothing else, Anchor Bay rolls out the red carpet here, giving the feature one of their first class Divimax widescreen transfers. After all, every film deserves to look and sound its best. ABE's menu designs have been elegant and interesting in their own right lately, and this one has some memorable ones with overlapping cornfield silhouettes that hint at horrors in the rows. The commentrak is a bit subdued, with the speakers gently poking fun at some deficiencies, but reveals a lot of detail about the production. The new 36-minute documentary "Harvesting Horror" isn't quite so candid, with talking head interviewees generally giving the movie a bit more credit than it merits.

The disc is filled out with galleries composed of storyboard & title sequrece art, posters and stills, a trailer, and for those with DVD-ROM access, the original screenplay. Now you can act out your own version of CHILDREN OF THE CORN!