Comicscape - June 7, 2006

By: KURT AMACKER
Date: Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Last week's mixed-bag review of X-MEN: THE LAST STAND generated a small truckload of mail. The reactions ranged from complete agreement with my review, to total disagreement from fans that thought the film met or exceeded the previous two. Regardless, the film's profitable opening weekend overshadowed the negative reviews among an overall mixed response. And, while talk about a fourth film still remains vague, two spin-off films for Wolverine and Magneto, respectively, seem likely.

In other news, a couple of readers have asked why we're talking about a movie in a comic book column. Film adaptations remain an intrinsic part of the modern comic reading experience. Since BLADE, X-MEN, and SPIDER-MAN started the glut of Marvel movies a few years ago, I can't separate the two mediums from an editorial perspective. If I just ignored X-MEN: THE LAST STAND and wrote about the difference between color and black and white in the self-publishing market, I'd get buried in e-mails saying, "OMFG how could you just ignore x3? d00d, wtf?" Regardless, here are some of your letters.

Ponyboy76 writes, "Dude, this is a first, but I can't really argue with anything that you said about the THE LAST STAND. I live in London and for some reason it came out a day earlier than it did in the U.S. I was really looking forward to this installment, being a huge X-Men comic fan. When the first X-Men came out, I was highly stoked. Singer got the almost perfect cast, and the story was pretty good, as far as an introduction for those that didn't have a clue what an X-Man was. The second was better, and full of things I wanted to see in the first one, like Wolverine actually going berserk and killing people. There were also glimpses of other X-men, like Colossus and Kitty, which gave me wet my appetite for a third installment. Then, Hell froze over and Singer left for Superman. Vaughn, left for whatever reason and we got Ratner. You, are right, in the fact that Ratner doesn't really have a visual style. Its kind of mishmash of other directors that hopefully work. Movies like RUSH HOUR and its sequel were good, but the scope, and storylines of the films were nothing compared to that of a mythos as long standing and deep as the X-Men."


I don't mean to be a pretentious art film f--k or anything, but I pretty much avoid anything like RUSH HOUR. I could be doing something productive like checking the air in my tires or looking at the dirt under my fingernails.

Now, I don't totally blame him, because the execs at Fox, like you stated, rushed this out in order to get some of the 'hero dough,' before Superman did. At the end of the day though, Ratner just ended up going with the flow as a 'yes' man, instead of someone like Singer who would have looked over what was wrong with the movie, and tried to fix it. He didn't treat this with the same understanding, care, and respect that a Singer would have, and to me it showed in the movie.

It's the difference between an auteur and a popcorn movie director. When Matthew Vaughn took over after Singer left, I wasn't upset because I'd heard good things about LAYER CAKE. Unfortunately, rather than find another director that might bring a distinctive vision to the franchise, Fox hired a guy whose can passably imitate better directors.

"Also, most of the characters, including the ones that were supposedly in the forefront, Angel was one, had very little, if any screen time. There was wide speculation among fan boys that Ratner was going to pull a visual quantity over quality coup and that is exactly what he did."

"I need mutants! Get me more mutants!"

"What really sucks to me is that people went in droves to see it and most liked it. Maybe I'm spoiled because I used to read the comics. Maybe my expectations were too high and put my faith in people that had no business in having it."

Yeah, damn you for expecting excellence in cinema. Why can't you just lower your standards like everyone else? Quit watching good films and check out SUPERCROSS or something. I think AMERICAN IDOL's on.

"What is even worse is now that it did so well, the execs at Fox Studios are patting each other on their collective backs, congratulating each other for the great decisions they made. Ratner thinks he is a genius director. Penn and Kinberg think they can crap on a stack of papers and it will be a success and the only people who didn't like the film will have their opinions reduced to those of comic geek fan boys, who have no idea what the 'real' people in world want to watch or what is good."

I find it's often best to write off the taste of the majority. While there are certainly exceptions, a good rule is that if it's popular, it's probably crap. Thanks for writing.

Bryan Mero of Red Machine Comics writes, "After seeing the movie twice over the weekend I seem to like it better after the second time. I still don't love the movie but it had its moments. I feel the cure story is more of a payback by Magneto dating back to the Holocaust. Magneto will not let that happen again. So it's more of a continuation of Magneto's attitude towards humanity from the first and second movie."

Except that the Nazis were killing people, not 'curing' them of their Judaism. While Magento's disdain for humanity and its persecution of mutants certainly began with his experience in the Holocaust, I don't think the cure story served as an adequate parallel. If, say, the third movie had Sentinels rounding mutants up and putting them in concentration camps and Fox had the balls to show true persecution, I'd respect the film a lot more.

"The Dark Phoenix story was handled well within the movie's backstory. I would have liked to see Jean doing more than stand at Magneto's side but alas, it was not to be. Maybe the DVD will have extended scenes."

Unfortunately, the Dark Phoenix story needs more than a backstory. It's an entire film unto itself, not a subplot. While I wouldn't have necessarily wanted the Shi'ar and Dazzler, it would've been nice to see Emma Frost and the Hellfire Club.

"As to your question about Rogue. She came back for Bobbie...that's why she received the cure in the first place."

Yes, but it looked like she'd unpacked and returned to the school as if she were still a mutant. They could've at least plugged in a line of dialogue like "Now we can be together. Let's elope" or something. And, in the event of a fourth film, the screenwriters and directors have three unpleasant choices to make: ignore Rogue like they did Nightcrawler, pretend the cure didn't work and render the third film irrelevant, or somehow keep her in the team without her powers. Effectively, they've removed her defining feature, and I doubt anyone's creative or brave enough to make her interesting without it.

"As for this being the last X-Men movie, as portrayed by the studio, [it's] very unlikely. Obviously, the cure is not permanent, as we saw Magneto move a metal chess piece. It possibly wears off according to what level of mutant you are. So not only will Magneto get his powers back, Mystique and Rogue will also. What side will Mystique take this time? And assuming you stayed through the final credits we see that Xavier has transferred his mind to the patient with no brain function. So, with that many setups for future films its such a big joke that the studio declares this to be the last of the series. Especially after such a big box office take over the weekend, if the studio thinks they can make money with more films, they will. Look for X-MEN: REUNITED.

A fourth film wouldn't surprise the hell out of me. Unfortunately, if the cure suddenly doesn't work, it almost makes the third film unnecessary.

Ricky Roxburgh writes, "I saw X3 last night after months of watching the teaser/trailer over and over. When I left, I found that the trailer had slightly less character development than the movie! You hit the nail right on the head when you say that it suffers from 'Lackluster Third Chapter Syndrome.'"

I'm quite adept at making up fictional illnesses to describe things I don't like. It''s a talent.

"The main reason for that, is that the franchise is now out of the hands of those who had the original vision of what the franchise would look like, how the characters would operate, etc. Now, it is in the hands of the greedy executives who haven't a single creative bone in their bodies. We're seeing a 'copycat' X-Men movie. Ratner and Fox did their darnedest to mimic whatever it was that made the first two magical and failed at almost every turn."

The movie could've worked in the hands of a capable director with an original vision. Every ALIEN movie had a different director with a distinct visual style that kept every installment fresh and interesting (I'm not counting ALIENS VS. PREDATOR). But, rather than risk creating an original work that didn't shamelessly (and poorly) ape Singer's style, they went for the easy out. Instead of a great movie, we got a passably entertaining one good for a matinee or a DVD rental.

"The most evident, I think, which nobody has mentioned that I've seen is that they killed off Cyclops and Professor X NOT to 'free up sub-plots,' but simply to give Storm something 'significant' to do. Halle Berry had said that she didn't want to come back unless Storm's part had a more significant role. So they sat down and said 'Hmmm.... well, there's the integrity of the source material OR the ego of an Oscar winning actress....let's kill Cyclops and Professor X. With them gone, you're the leader, Halle!"

I'd heard things to that effect, but I really didn't want to get into what she reportedly said or didn't. It just seemed counterproductive to blame one actress and I wanted to focus on the film itself.

"And that's what happened. What they don't get is that the asses in those seats don't give a frog's fat ass about Halle Berry. They care about seeing the characters they read about live onscreen. They care about seeing Beast soar through the air, Wolverine tearing people new ones, Colossus (who was SO underused) demonstrating his invulnerability and strength. The studios half gave the fans what they wanted. The fans want the characters and they delivered. But they also want the characters to exist within a good story."

I have to admit that I was a bit perplexed why they were so worried about Storm. She's a cool character, but, in the end, Wolverine and some of the bigger guns have to carry an X-Men film.



Charles Deus writes, "X-MEN: THE LAST STAND represents everything that I was afraid of while anticipating the first X-Men film. It's quite sad that a series that had such a great build up in story, goes out with such a whimper. After seeing the second installment, I couldn't wait for the third one to continue the story that Bryan Singer and crew had laid the ground work for. Unfortunately though, the fears I had when Singer left were fully realized as I sat through the film last weekend. I found it a bit ironic, that Ratner had pointed out in an interview at one point that he was an 'emotional guy' and he intended to use the ground work that Singer had laid while adding some more emotion to the film. Where was that emotion? The first two tugged at the heart strings appropriately. Where as, this film had numerous moments that should have done so, and yet I found myself not caring in the least at those points that were intended to be emotional."

I couldn't quite put my finger on the reason, but I felt this way several times during the film. I kept wanting to care or cry the way I did when Jean died in the end of X2 (yes, I cried, and I still do every time I see it). But, except for a couple of moments where the score plucked the scene from Crap Town, I couldn't bring myself to care much.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND had no substance and no heart. It was a film that I can honestly say that I hated. It's unfortunate that it has made a ton of money because the execs at Fox will think they have a great film on their hands. When in all reality, they had two great films on their hands made by Bryan Singer that drew in the audiences for the third installment that appears to have disappointed more movie goers than actually pleased.

Okay, I didn't hate the film. Seriously, I thought it was a mixed bag with a lot of room for improvement. However, with two far superior predecessors, that's unacceptable. I can happily go see THE GRUDGE or another mediocre horror flick and say, "That wasn't great, but whatever -- I had fun." I don't give that kind of leeway for the X-Men films, because I know they've done better.

Alex Bales writes, "Ever since the movie was released, I've thoroughly enjoyed the reactions coming back regarding its quality. With two great movies behind it, it has a lot to prove. I agree with what you said about it suffering from 'Lackluster Third Chapter Syndrome.' I immediately thought of RETURN OF THE JEDI (before you sited it a few sentences later).

Good old RETURN -- I don't think I'll ever get tired of bitching about it. Still, it's better than THE PHANTOM MENACE, but that doesn't take much. Now, let's see who takes the bait.

Yes, the movie seems a bit rushed, but this is the end of a trilogy, naturally things are going to move a little quicker as it reaches the end. Killing off major characters was a bit extreme, but keep in mind this is a movie based on a comic book. Did we actually see Cyclops die, bursting into a million pieces? I didn't. They say in comic books no one is really dead unless you see the body (and sometimes not even then).

The only problem is that comics come out monthly (if we're lucky). And, everyone accepts that deaths are rarely permanent. It might be five years until another X-Men movie comes along to rectify the mistakes made in THE LAST STAND.

Which brings me to Professor Xavier. I'm assuming you didn't wait till the very end after the credits? I jumped out of my seat when the scene popped up and I heard Xavier's voice say 'Hello Moira.'

Actually, I did -- both times. Guys, try asking me these things before you tell me what I did or didn't do. I had a reader tell me I was gay because I suggested the film had a subtext about the cultural conflict over homosexuality. And I mean really gay -- not "Hey, I broke down and bought a Celine Dion CD"" gay.

As for Jean, well, yeah she's probably dead... In either case, there had better be an X4 on the horizon. The only thing I did not agree with in your review was the comparison of finding a cure for mutants to homosexuality... What? That's a bit of a stretch. The key message of X-Men is racism, which was touched on in all three movies.

I think it's just discrimination in general. The problem here is that there is a very real controversy over whether homosexuals can be converted or not. I don't think they can, nor do most organizations not operating from a religious standpoint. The cure subplot adds a timely dynamic to the film that changes it from an argument about racism to one about gays. No one's ever suggested that black people needed to be cured of their ethnicity. Unfortunately, the gay community can't get the same respect. And, before anyone suggests otherwise again: Kurt is straight, Kurt is married, and Kurt likes women very, very much. Kurt happens to have gay friends. Kurt makes fun of them sometimes, but they know he is only kidding.

"The cure was a way for mutants to be reintegrated into a society that hates and fears them, and to finally find acceptance. If anything, that scene outside the clinic reminded me of when blacks were first being integrated into white run establishments. I know this isn't what you were saying, but when I read your point of view, it was like you were saying mutants are gay, which is a little insulting, and misses the point entirely. But that's the great thing about comics and the message they send. You can interpret the meaning any way you choose."

I don''t think that suggesting that the films parallel the cultural controversy over homosexuality is insulting. Bryan Singer is gay and, frankly, it shows in the first two films. Watch the "coming out" scene with Bobby Drake and his parents in the second film if that's unclear. To the credit of those involved in THE LAST STAND, they ran with the gay thing and, if anything, made it more apparent. They could've shied away from it, and instead they practically spelled it out for everyone.

Ty writes, "While I'm not as quick to bash any aspect of the film as quickly as the other fan boys, I do only have two real problems that I found to be upsetting. One, the running time of the film was too short. So short, in fact, that it didn't do any of the supporting mutants justice. That leads directly into the next problem. One mutant, in particular, comes to mind: Angel. While that character, I guess, served as the catalyst for the film and the so-called cure, I found Angel to be mutant eye candy. His role served no purpose to the film. He easily could've been replaced by another mutant... one where we, and I assume a majority of people agree, don't feel as compelled to cheer on only to have the character be in such a useless role."

The first scene where he was hacking off his wings in the bathroom showed a lot of promise, but they cast that character off to the side pretty quickly. There's a lot of potential in a guy that has angel wings. Can you imagine a good subplot about the religious fervor that would probably surround a guy like that?

"Cyclops doesn't even get a death scene. The leader of the X-Men, one of the original five, doesn't even get the attention he deserved. With that said, I really enjoyed the film."

You could've fooled me!

"I would venture going as far as saying it was on par with the previous two. Also, this is my opinion. I know a lot of the CINESCAPE junkies who have nothing more to do than bash other people's opinions would want to offer me their two cents. I just think a lot of people went into the film with a predetermined feeling that the movie would suck. Most people are quick to blame Brett Ratner. I would venture that if it was the same exact product with Bryan Singer's name attached as director, that the film would be applauded for its brilliant deliverance."

I wouldn't have given it that kind of pass. I watch the movie first and then point fingers later. I was perfectly willing to love THE LAST STAND and spend last week''s COMICSCAPE saying that everyone who hated it was wrong.

Yes, the film was lacking, if only because the movie-makers tried to mash a great deal of content into a 104 minute feature. That doesn't deter from the fact that the film did stay true to the overall theme of the films. What I found to be lacking in the first two movies was the amount of action that was in THE LAST STAND. That, itself, was fulfilling for me. Also, I'm aware that the storyline didn't exactly follow the comic...It was a good move too. Involving cosmic entities and what not only complicate matters. It also discredits any believability the films have established.

We are talking about a movie full of characters with superpowers, but having never dealt with aliens in the first two films, I agree.

"I seem to also recall the negative reaction to a 6'2" Wolverine back when the first film was released. It didn't seem to bother the movie. I was surprised when no one cried because Storm didn't curl up into a ball and suck on her thumb when she fell down the elevator shaft. No one seems to care now that Storm's claustrophobia doesn't come into play. Also, even though you found some of Ratner's jokes to be silly, remember this: 'You know what happens when a toad gets struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.'"

I agree, that was lame. But, it was trying to be serious and it fell flat. I appreciate that a little more than trying to inject serious material with unnecessary levity.

"Brett Ratner did the best job he could do for coming in so late to the production. Although, the trilogy would've ended with more positive reaction if an extra 30 minutes were added to this film. The acting by Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Kelsey Grammar, and Famke Janssen were superb. My favorite scene is the final confrontation between Jean and Xavier. Also, when all is said and done, it's the amount of green a movie makes that really matters. Michael Bay delivers."

If Michael Bay delivers anything, it's the Antichrist from the womb of a donkey. And on that note (and even though this isn't a movie column), feel free to skip THE OMEN remake and rent the original. I'm just glad I didn't pay to see it. That's it for this week guys. Thanks to everyone that wrote about X-MEN: THE LAST STAND. There was a lot more mail, but the column would be twice as long if I included everything. So, good fight, and good night.

New This Week

By Al Brown and Kurt Amacker

DARK HORSE

Archenemies #3 (of 4) $2.99

Al: Here's something that's been flying under the radar. Cute little series about two NYC roommates who hate each other but don't realize that, in their costumed alternate identities, they're also each others' nemeses.

BPRD Universal Machine #3 (of 5) $2.99

Cannon God Exaxxion Stage 5 Vol 5 TP $15.95

Al: And that's the most X's I've ever seen outside of my porn collection. Rad!

Kurt: You'd think with the obvious marketing potential, Marvel would've somehow incorporated the whole XXX porno thing into a mutant title.

Classic Comic Book Character #4 Marv $49.95

Classic Kelloggs Character Statue #2 Sugar Pops Pete $49.95

Al: You're kidding, right?

Kurt: I think it's obvious that Dark Horse sold their collective soul to Satan.

De Tales Vol 1 TP $14.95

Al: De Tales of De Crypt? Or no, wait - is it like "Details" magazine for furries?

Kurt: It's for plushies, not furries. There's a difference -- a very disturbing difference.

Oh My Goddess Vol 23 Rtl TP $10.95

Star Wars Legacy #0 $0.25

Kurt: I'm still not buying it. Unless Dark Horse pulls some kind of Ultimate-style continuity reboot with Star Wars, I'm not diving into the deep end of that pool.

DC COMICS

52 Week #5 $2.50

Al: This week: Eh, Martian Manhunter was a little under the weather for the first part of the week, but the weekend was okay. Martian Manhunter went to Target to look for a new shower curtain.

Kurt: And he switches from Oreos to Hydrox.

Batman Journey Into Knight #10 (of 12) $2.99

Batman Secrets #4 (of 5) $2.99

Batman: Secretly, I've always been pissed off that people refer to me as "The one without any real superpowers." Green Arrow doesn't have any superpowers either, and all he does is shoot arrows! I shoot all kinds of crazy things! I have a Batmobile! What's he got? A stupid goatee! He looks like cosplay at the Robin Hood convention! Why don't they call me "The BEST one without real superpowers," huh? I'm not the guy who was all, "I don't have powers, so I'd better limit myself to one form of offense." GOD, that guy's a tool.

Robin: Why don''t you tell them our real secret, Bruce? I hate you so much.

Batman Under The Hood Vol 2 TP $9.99

Al: Loose sparkplug.

Kurt: I wonder what he does if the Batmobile breaks down. I mean, it's not like he can just call a tow or anything.

Blood Of The Demon #16 $2.99

Detective Comics #820 $2.99

DMZ Vol 1 On The Ground TP (MR) $9.99

Exterminators #6 (MR) $2.99

Hard Time Season Two #7 $2.99

Al: Last issue! Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop e-mailing convicts and pretending to be a woman.

Kurt: Now you''ll just have to pretend to be a 13-year-old boy on Myspace to get dates.

Jonah Hex #8 $2.99

JSA #86 $2.99

Justice League Unlimited #22 $2.25

Looney Tunes #139 $2.25

Majestic Vol 2 TP $14.99

Manifest Eternity #1 $2.99

Al: This Scott Lobdell series is about a science-based Earth (I think a future one) that's attacked by a magic-based race of aliens. Something like that. I would say its appeal depends on how you feel about Scott Lobdell. I'm suspicious.

Outsiders #37 $2.99

Pieces Of A Spiral Vol 4 $9.99

Power Girl TP $14.99

Superman Doomsday Omnibus TP $19.99

Superman Our Worlds At War Complete Edition $24.99

Superman Returns Krypton To Earth $3.99

Al: Ah yes. Here come the promotional tie-ins. In case you're not sure how Superman Returns fits into...anything, here's what's up: Supermans III and IV never happened. (Hooray!) At the end of Superman II, the awesomest Superman movie of all, Superman takes off into space, right? This four-issue miniseries handles what happens while he's gone; the movie picks up as he comes back. I think that's how it's supposed to go, anyway. Plotted by director Bryan Singer himself.

Kurt: I....may...actually...buy...this. My God, Hell has frozen over.

Superman Returns Superman 13 Inch Collector Figure $59.99

Wonder Woman #1 $2.99

Al: Though I've never been the biggest Wonder Woman fan, I'm pretty stoked about this relaunch. It's written by Allan Heinberg, the former O.C. writer who came to comics with the absolutely spectacular Young Avengers; and it's drawn by Terry Dodson, who...uh, who can draw hot chicks. So...I'm in.

Kurt: I wonder if Dodson has that on his resumé -- "1993 to Present: Drew hot chicks."

Wonder Woman Variant Cover #1 $2.99

Kurt: I was worried there for a second. Now I'm buying it.

Y The Last Man #46 (MR) $2.99

IMAGE

Cyberforce #0 $2.99

Al: Why won't you die?

Kurt: It doesn''t occupy physical space. It can't die.

Hector Plasm De Mortuis One Shot $5.99

Invincible #32 $2.99

Liberty Meadows Vol 1 TP New Prtg $14.99

Noble Causes #20 $3.50

Rocketo Journey To The Hidden Sea #9 $3.99

Shadowhawk #12 $3.50

Walking Dead #28 (MR) $2.99

MARVEL

Annihilation Silver Surfer #3 (of 4) $2.99

Civil War Front Line #1 (of 10) $2.99

Al: Remember Generation M, the limited series running right after House of M that was from the perspective of a journalist investigating M-Day? Remember how it was boring and stupid? Well, if you like things that are boring and stupid, Marvel's pulling the same damn trick with this series...except much, much longer.

Kurt: Hey, I''m all about boring and stupid! Look, here's my ticket stub from THE DA VINCI CODE!

Fantastic Four First Family #4 (of 6) $2.99

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #9 $2.99

Al: Spider-Man fights the Hobgoblin of the future. Now that's good comic book fun. I approve.

Fury Peacemaker #5 (of 6) $3.50

Last Planet Standing #3 (of 5) $2.99

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #16 $2.99

Marvel Select Flip Magazine #13 $4.99

Marvel Spotlight Mark Millar Steve Mcniven $2.99

Marvel Tales Flip Magazine #12 $4.99

Kurt: Has anyone ever figured out what these things are?

Marvel Team-up #21 $2.99

Al: Cover speech balloon alert! Hell yeah! Old school, man!

New X-Men #27 $2.99

Punisher #34 (MR) $2.99

Al: In the last issue Punisher got the crap beaten out of him, and then he was handcuffed and thrown to the sharks. This book may actually be getting better, if that's possible.

Kurt: After the whole "Don't come back" bit from the last arc, I don''t know if this book can rock any harder.

Underworld #5 (of 5) $2.99

X-Men The End Men And X-Men #6 (of 6) $2.99

Al: Unbelievable: this thing is actually over! Ding-dong, the witch is dead! You know, we've been not caring about this for a full 18 months now? Wow. It's like the weight of the world's been lifted from my shoulders.

Kurt: Weren't there like, what, seven of these miniseries or something? I feel sorry for all those trees.

Questions? Comments? Let us know what you think at comicscape@cinescape.com.