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Comicscape May 14, 2003

OPINION

First off, some good news: I've been informed by my good friend and editor Arnold T. Blumberg and by a few helpful readers that Marvel will indeed be celebrating the 500th issue of FANTASTIC FOUR by changing back to the old numbering. Thing is, they're claiming this is the first title they've had that made it to 500, even though there was a huge hoopla when THOR did the same thing back in 1996. The folks at Marvel, however, say that doesn't count since THOR's numbering is an extension of the title he took over from, JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY. *Sigh* God, how I hate these numbering schemes... Anyway, it's still good news. Now, onto the main event...

Speaking of helpful readers, Cameron Cooke responded to my call for votes for the stupidest superhero a few weeks back with perhaps the most unique response of all: Superman! My initial reaction was much the same as I'm sure yours is, but Cameron makes a good case: in a nutshell, Superman is invulnerable to everything, he can do everything, and he's never really in danger of losing. Ignoring the fact that Superman does have a few vulnerabilities, allow me to take this ball and run with it for a bit - because, if we look really closely at Superman for a while, we might realize that he is pretty lame.

Point One: Invulnerability: Superman is one of the few superheroes in comics history whose powers had to be lessened when the character underwent revision along with everyone else after CRISIS. Why is that? Namely, he'd grown just a tad bit too powerful, and it wasn't much fun reading the exploits of someone who could never be hurt or beaten. I know some of you are already screaming, "What about kryptonite?" but I have to argue that the very existence of kryptonite proves how boring invulnerability can get after a while. By the end of the Silver Age, there were at very least five different varieties of kryptonite, each created to knock Supes for a loop in some different and interesting way. Why would anyone need to resort to such narrative tactics except out of sheer boredom at writing about a character who can't be harmed any other way? The fact that Kal-El has occasionally had to be stripped of powers just to make him interesting proves that while he may be Superman, he's not that super a hero.

Superman's signature.

© DC Comics

Point Two: Endless Powers: Again, this isn't so much of a problem in the post-CRISIS era, but think about the multitude of things that Kal-El can still do and all the crazy mixed up things he used to be able to do. A read-through of Mark Millar's excellent Elseworlds contribution SUPERMAN: RED SON reminds us of just how ridiculously god-like this guy used to be (and still could be). Bad enough he has heat vision, X-ray vision, super-speed, invulnerability, and super-strength, enough power to make him a match for just about any villain (and indeed any other hero) in the DC universe - but add super-cold-breath, super-hearing, super-intelligence, and super-ventriloquism (of all things) into the mix, and you've got a character who really can do just about anything. No wonder he was able to turn back time in the 1979 movie - in that era (and even occasionally in our own), it's simply not that great a stretch. It's also overkill, and it's a bag of deux ex machina tricks which can lead to poor writing - what can't you do with a character like this?

Point Three: The Inability to Lose: I'd start this one off by asking, "How many other characters can you name who have come back from the dead?" But let's be fair: this is comics, where death is but a revolving door. Still, if we think about it, even when Supes has lost, he turns out not to have lost at all. Part of the thrill of watching a hero fight is the possibility that maybe, just maybe, this will be the one time that they're not strong enough, or fast enough, or smart enough. When you've got super-strength, super-speed, and super-intelligence, though, where's the suspense? He can't have his back broken like Batman; he can't go mad like Hal Jordan (and even if he does, it's more of a marketing ploy than the destruction of a major character; and even when his worst enemies find out his secret identity, they conveniently have their memories erased of the fact). Even personal, emotional loss - about the only loss that Superman can suffer - simply isn't on the cards: Lois Lane's "death" last year showed that much. There's simply no chance he'll lose, and therefore there's simply no narrative tension.

Add to all this the fact that we know Superman will never cross the line and take a life (even though Batman constantly rides that line), that he's never going to turn evil (even briefly), that he's never going to do anything morally dubious in the cause of good, that he's never even going to let his editor's bad choice in fashion statements get him down (blue and white costume, anyone?), and you get a hero who's grossly over-powered, narratively boring - and, to use Cameron's word, "lame." How'd this guy last for over 60 years, anyway?

Direct your comments (and, if you're irony-impaired, your hate mail) to feedback@cinescape.com - and tell me who you think the lamest superhero is.

THIS WEEK

Speaking of our Man of the Hour this week, Superman continues his fight to save Heroville in ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #616. Gee, I wonder if he'll win this one?

GREEN LANTERN #164

© 2003 DC Comics

The "Black Circle: Urban Knights" storyline draws to a thrilling close in GREEN LANTERN #164 this week. Somehow I don't think Ollie and Kyle will be hanging around to drink together at the wrap party, though, do you?

Domino, whom Marvel touts as a "fan-favorite X-Men character," gets her own limited series this week with DOMINO #1. If she's such a fan-favorite X-Men character, why didn't Halle Barry play her in the movie, huh?

Not only does TOM STRONG'S TERRIFIC TALES #7 ship this week, his daughter Tesla gets her own one-shot in THE MANY WORLDS OF TESLA STRONG, written by Alan Moore and Peter Hogan and featuring art by just about everybody. And if that wasn't enough Alan Moore for you, PROMETHEA #26 also ships this week. Makes you wonder if Moore simply sits on all his scripts as he gets them done and then releases them all at once just to make us hungrier for... um, Moore.

In CAPTAIN AMERICA #13, Cap learns more about his memories and his past, and he finds out that what he thought he knew may not be the truth after all. Welcome to the USA, Steve Rogers.

X-MEN: PHOENIX - LEGACY OF FIRE # 1

© 2003 Marvel Comics

Phoenix gets the Mangaverse treatment in X-MEN: PHOENIX - LEGACY OF FIRE #1 as Ryan Kinnaird combines line art and CGI backgrounds to bring us the story of Jena and Madelyne Pyre. Hey, as long as we don't have to suffer through CURSE OF THE SPIDER-CLAN again, I'm happy.

Nightwing's been shot in NIGHTWING #81, so it's up to Batgirl to track down Deathstroke the Terminator in a script by Devin Grayson. Has anyone else ever felt like Deathstroke was a Marvel villain who somehow took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up at DC by mistake?

If you're really up for sitting through the so-called "saga" that was "The Hunt for Aquaman" (and you're willing to pay out the nose for it), DC is releasing JLA: THE OBSIDIAN AGE - BOOK ONE, 160 pages of flaky goodness for $12.95. Guess it's better than paying full-price for the six back issues of JLA that this edition collects - but really, why would you do either?

411 #2

© 2003 Marvel Comics

Marvel continues its tribute to the peacemakers with 411 #2 this week. Judging from the surprising lack of hate mail I got for my review of the first issue, either things are finally back to normal - or no one's reading this title at all. I'm hoping it's the former, but it's probably the latter. Get out there and get a copy!

There's a new Black Panther? Guess so, as he's being introduced in BLACK PANTHER #59 this week. Oh, T'Challa, where art thou?

THE TITANS/YOUNG JUSTICE: GRADUATION DAY #1

© 2003 DC Comics

And with THE TITANS/YOUNG JUSTICE: GRADUATION DAY #1, Judd Winick begins a three-issue miniseries about the two superteams. Given the strength of Winick's writing, he just might be able to make us care about Young Justice. Might.

Comicscape is our weekly Comics column.