Conan the Barbarian Blu-Ray Review Comments -


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jedibanner 11/26/2011 3:43:33 PM

Fully agree....said it before it came out and I'll say it again, he ain't Conan and this pile of turd ain't Conan. The effort was there but the story and the overacting of the vilains were just awfull.

Glad I didn't see this in theatre.

InnerSanctum 11/27/2011 6:09:06 AM

 I watched this last night.  It was laughably bad.  I think you are being overly generous with a C -.  I'm really no sure why it is so hard to get Conan right.  Like the review stated...there is an abudance of resources.  Instead, we get something that feels like it was filmed on backlots and a well manicured barbarian.  Meh.  

hanso 11/27/2011 6:57:46 AM

 The movie looked like a piece of straight to DVD crap in the trailers and the movie itself lived up to it.  If there was any doubt it'd be crap the opening of the flick made it perfectly clear that it indeed would be 2 hours of crap as it had Ron Perlman looking like an ape cavemen and holding up  the ridiculous looking baby Conan ala Lion King.

It wasn't a complete piece of crap cause it had boobies and that's always a plus in my book.

axia777 11/27/2011 7:03:41 AM

Such a disappointment.  Damn, the makers of this movie suck huge donkey choad.  Why?  They talked a large game of going back to the original Howard materials.  They did not.  I know I thought this movie would be good and that I hoped the trailers were wrong but I was wrong and this movie is crap.

You know what they should do with Conan?  Do a Showtime series with him.  Do it right.  Do it like A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones.  Showtime needs to get up on HBO's fantasy genre game.  HBO has True Blood and Game of Thrones now.  Showtime needs Conan.  An all adult Conan series could be seriously bad ass.

karas1 11/27/2011 5:51:27 PM

I saw a clip of Jason Mamoa at a Comicon pannel and somebody asked him who was tougher, his Conan or Kal Drogo from Game of Thrones.  He said Kal Drogo would cut Conan to pieces.

I was tempted to see this in the theater to support Mamoa who I liked in Stargate Atlantis and also Rose MaGowan who I enjoyed in Charmed.  But it looked unpleasantly bloody so I skipped it.  I guess I'm glad I didn't spend the cash to see it in a theater.  I'll catch it when it hits HBO.

axia777 11/27/2011 8:43:43 PM

@karas1 - Jason Mamoa is dead wrong. How wrong is he? Conan dies a King of Nations while Drogo dies like a punk from blood poisoning. How lame is that? Conan would tear Drogo's head off and use if for dog food. That would be the REAL Conan, not this crap Conan in this craptastic movie they crapped out on the world.


Chopsaki 11/28/2011 10:42:28 AM

Epic Fail :(

Dedpool3678 11/28/2011 12:08:15 PM

This could've easily been awesome!! It's definitely not as bad as say Conan the Destroyer, Kull the Conquerer, and Red Sonja. But Momoa did a great job in the part. The script was crap though.

ArkoblaConn 11/29/2011 6:42:30 AM

I am at least as much a Conan Fan as the author of this review and must say - completely agree.  I'm most frustrated with the fact that no one will use the Howard source material!  Such awesome stories and we get crap.  I even heard that Mamoa 'Had the next movie written'...but he had not read Howard.  Really??

I wanted to like the movie.  Having read the Stackpole movie tie in, I was happy that there were a steady stream of allusions to other parts of his life.  In the book, Conan is pining away for Belit, whom he just lost.  This does put him as an older, more wise character who has seen more than just his thieving days.  None of that is mentioned in the movie.  

And if the story wasn't bad enough, the actual FILM Making was awful.  The transitions from one scene to the next were difficult to follow.  In one sequence, Conan and and woman walk up a rocky cliff.  Next scene, they are in a cave making love.  Immediately following this, we see Conan leaving the cave and finding himself in a Forest!  No sign of rocky terrain.  

I guarentee you that Tim (author above) and I could come up with a better story for a Conan movie.  And there are lots of folks who can film a better movie than this effort.  I didn't mind Mamoa, but he doesn't get my vote for the next one by saying Drogo could take him out.  Pft!  

PS - In my version, we never see Conan's home village, his parents don't get killed, there is no stupid revenge for the village or parents...  I don't think we need an origin story for Conan.  We jump right in.  I suggest Red Nails or the People of the Black Circle as Tim does above.  The character needs to be taken like James Bond.  Don't try to cram everything into the movie - Make more!  Make them Right!  Follow the story!!   

axia777 11/30/2011 3:50:47 PM

I stil want a Showtime adult series with a near nobody as Conan.  They need to find someone who can act but is not super well known.

A series about Conan where it does show his origin, being born on the battle field as hs is cut from his mother's belly into blood, chaos and fire.  Then have the series follow his life as being a theif, a priate, a soldier, mercenary and then King.  It would make for some serious epic TV if done right with NO cheese inbetween.  If I was Showtime I would buy the rights to the Conan stuff ASAP.

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