10 Male Headaches of Anime (Mania.com)
Date: Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Everyone has a handful of fictional characters who they just can’t stand, but in the world of anime it’s usually the women who are known for being the whining, crying, tripping, irritating pains in the you-know-what. But as much as the big breasted blockheads of anime can annoying us, there are quite a few men who annoy us even moreand here are 10 of them.
10. Yagami Light (Death Note, Season Two)
We honestly do enjoy him as a character, hence him being pretty low on our list. But something changed in season two and the freakishly smart kid we watched join his own investigation--led by his father of all people--became a man who cheated on his girlfriend with a reporter and made an overzealous fan boy do all of the killing for him. A lot of fans of Death Note don’t particularly care for season two for a variety of reasons, the main one being: there’s no L, instead, there are two possible successors of L who don‘t quite compare to the original. But while a lot of fans were annoyed with the two newcomers and blamed them for the sort of slow second season, we found ourselves annoyed with Light himself. He didn’t really do much of anything, in fact, did he even use the Death Note in the second season? He let so many people do the work for him that I can‘t recall a single moment where he used the notebook himself. That’s no fun at all!
9. Vegeta (DBZ)
When you’re a kid in the ‘90s whose just discovering anime, Vegeta is one of the coolest bad guys you could ever meet. He’s short-tempered, he kills his own comrades, and when he works with the good guys he shows them no respect and will still bash them whenever he feels like it. The only thing that irritates us about Vegeta is Goku. Or should we say “Kakarot.” There are too many episodes of the Saiyan prince whining about not being better than him and it only became worse when Goku turned Super Saiyan before Vegeta did. And then, to add icing to the cake, Future Trunks showed up and defeated Frieza and Frieza’s dad in the shortest battle in DBZ history. Now you’d think a father would be proud to learn that this super powerful kid was his son, but no, not Vegeta. If anything he became pissier than ever before. DBZ is already a long series, we didn’t need to have a character complain the whole way through!
8. Naruto (Naruto: Shippuden)
Once upon a time Naruto was this kid who, for some reason, always had his eyes closed and spent entire episodes having to go to the bathroom. But we managed to make it through all of the ridiculous toilet humor to see Naruto grow as a character, becoming stronger and even gaining respect from the people around him. He was even able to turn misguided souls around with his determination and bright, happy smile (i.e. Zabuza, Neji, Gaara, Tsunade, ect.) But then something much worse than spoiled milk happened to Naruto’s health: Sasuke. Now don’t get us wrong, we didn’t expect him to take Sasuke’s departure lightly, but after reading a chapter where Naruto proudly(?!) proclaimed that even if Orochimaru ripped his body parts off he’d still find a way to drag Sasuke home… yeah, we can’t help but think that if Naruto were a girl we’d be calling him a psychopathic masochist. Dear Naruto: CEASE AND DISIST!
7. Yugi (Yu-gi-oh)
After debating with ourselves and other reviewers here we’ve decided to go ahead and add him to the list because, to us, the most boring type of character is one who never loses. Now in this huge anime universe there are probably quite a few characters who never lose, but to see someone never lose a card game? Sure, you can’t hate the kid for having mad card skills… wait, is it even skill or is it the “heart of the cards?” Why do people even try to battle Yugi anymore? You could have 10 million life points compared to his 20, but somehow he’ll have a trap card under a trap card with a rare card that makes epic duel monster that just so happens to do 999999999999 damage. No matter how much his impending defeat is built up, Yugi always comes from behind to win the game. He’s the champion, plain and simple, and we all know that champions are never beaten… at least in this universe.
6. Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon)
Let’s be honest. What is this guy good for? He jumps in, throws a rose, and… that’s about it. In the long run his only purpose is to give Sailor Moon the Phoenix Down she needs to get back up and Moon Tiara Magic a monster or two. Sailor Moon may be a whiny little so-and-so, but at the end of the day she gets the job done, occasionally getting a new transformation sequence and cosmic wand, but Tuxedo Mask never changes. He’s guaranteed to a) get kidnapped, b) be brainwashed, c) lose his memory or d) die… sometimes he does all of them in one season (or in Sailor Stars’ case he simply dies in the beginning without anyone knowing about it). He's the character that needs to get beat up so the hero(ine) can open his(her) eyes and transform into something epic. He's a punching bag, but hey… he’s a punching bag who dresses better than your prom date.
5. Inuyasha (Inuyasha)
Just. Pick. A. Girl. Already. PLEASE! The tragic part about all of this is that I use to think that Inuyasha was really cool with his sharp claws, gi-normous sword, and occasional psycho demon form. But then he met Kagome, but that wasn‘t the problem. We laughed a few times at their bickering (sit boy, hahahaha hilarious) and smiled as they grew closer to one another (even did that annoying “awwwwww” sound). But then Kikyo returned, but again, that wasn’t the problem. We felt kind of bad for Kikyo, especially when it was revealed that Naraku (who was always, like Princess Toadstool, “in another castle”) set her and Inuyasha up. So the question was who would Inuyasha choose. And that, ladies and gentleman, was the problem, because suddenly we were watching the same thing happen in season two, and season three, and season six hundred and forty seven!
4. Honorable mention: Ranma (Ranma ½)
Somehow we managed to go through our young anime days without seeing a single episode of Ranma. Perhaps we thought the idea of a boy turning into a girl via hot springs was too farfetched for our tastes… as I continued to watch a mismatched group of friends set out to find 7 magical balls that could bring people back from the dead. Don’t judge me. Now, while working on this article a few reviewers here suggested that Ranma be added for the same reasons as Inuyasha: just pick a girl already, please! The very definition of a harem anime, Ranma has both girls AND boys pursuing him thanks to his hot water sex changes. This probably could’ve been funny to watch… if it wasn’t 161 episodes with 3 movies and 12 OVAs. And since Inuyasha’s creator, Rumiko Takahashi, is also Ranma’s creator I can just imagine how this series “ended.” Consider Ranma added to the list.
3. Shindou Shuichi (Gravitation)
When you’re just starting to get into yaoi and the only thing you can cling to is Gundam Wing fanfiction, Gravitation is like a Godsend. It had awesome music, the boys actually kissed each other, and the silhouette of Yuki lowering Shuichi down to the ground under the moonlight was the hottest thing a yaoi fangirl could see… because at the time we had nothing else. This is the only reason we were able to put up with Shuichi, but with more yaoi available now it’s easy to admit to myself that Shuichi is not only annoying with his whining and random banana suit, but he‘s kind of a stalker too. He shows up at Yuki’s house with all of his stuff, unannounced, and says that he‘s moving in. Then he tells the world that Yuki belongs to him in the middle of a concert. And he even shows up at his father’s temple dressed in drag. If Shuichi were a girl there’d be a restraining order put against him.
2. Cloud (Final Fantasy)
We don’t remember much of Final Fantasy 7 except for the obvious thing that everyone remembers: Aeris dies. And in case you forgot that she died Cloud will remind you. Every. Single. Time. You. See. Him. Cloud is the Eeyore of video games, but what’s cute on a stuffed donkey isn’t nearly as cute on a grown man. Eeyore is always gloomy, even if he’s surrounded by friends who care about him. Pooh and the gang cheer him up by the end of each episode but next time you see him… “Yup, lost my tail again, ho hum.” Aeris is like the tail that Eeyore loses. And if she’s the tail, Zack is the little red balloon that Eeyore lost a hold of. And Sephiroth is the rain cloud that ruin’s Eeyore’s birthday party. No matter if its Advent Children, Kingdom Hearts, or even the new Dissidia game, Cloud will always be ho humming his way through life… with a giant sword strapped to his back.
1. Chihaya (Earthian)
Angels are absolutely amazing creatures, aren’t they? And they’re even prettier when they’re the main focus of a yaoi anime… all right, that might just be my personal opinion. But if your name is Chihaya then you’re the wimpiest angel that has ever been created, doomed to spend four episodes being punched, knocked out, kidnapped, and abused. Even his boyfriend is “too rough in bed” and what should’ve been a pretty angelic sex scene is completely cut short. If you’ve ever seen this anime, you most definitely know why this kid is number one on my list. The rest of the boys on this list may be annoying, but they, at least, do something in each of their series. Not only does Chihaya get beat up, he also FAILS his mission to show the good side of humanity to the head angels and the world gets destroyed. Thanks a lot, kid.
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