10 Signs You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga (Mania.com)

By:Joe Oesterle
Date: Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Source: www.joeartistwriter.com

 

Described as a “twisted love letter” to Star Wars creator George Lucas, The People Vs. George Lucas is an upcoming documentary, which has given a decided majority of discontented Star Wars enthusiasts the chance to vent at the man they once considered an infallible story-telling genius.
 
Many a self-described obsessed fan of the original trilogy (more commonly known as “the good ones”) has tried to deal with the pain and the disappointment over the prequel trilogy (or as insiders prefer to call them, “the sucky ones.”)
 
We at Mania caught up with intergalactic comedian Jango Fettworthy at an open mic in front of a brick wall in a galaxy far, far away, to get his “hilarious” take in a routine he calls, “10 Signs You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.” Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jango Fettworthy…..
 

10. If you have ever gained even more appreciation for the fighting skills of little-known Nautolan Jedi Master, Kit Fisto after snagging your tendrils on your own light saber while battling someone else at a “Star Wars Only” Halloween Party, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.

 

9. If you’ve ever thought about shooting anyone under the table who disagrees with the simple fact that by having Greedo shoot first, Lucas changed an integral character arc to Han Solo’s progression from self-absorbed outlaw smuggler to bona fide swashbuckling good guy hero, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

8. If you refuse to throw away your laser disc player because that device is still the only way you can enjoy the cleanest versions of some of the “extra bonus material,” You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

7. If the mention of this single hyphenated word, Midi-chlorians  –  just made you put your fist through your computer screen and you are now unable to read the rest of this article, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

6. If you’re more familiar with the work of legendary comedian Art Carney through his role as friendly Kashyyyk trader Saun Dann in the in The Star Wars Holiday Special, than his portrayal of “The Archer” in the 1966 Batman TV series, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

5. If you look down you nose at collectors who only have the Hasbro versions of the action figures, (whether they’re in the original packaging or not) while enjoying the rush of superiority you feel because you still own, and proudly display, a pristine Kenner version, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

4. If proudly displaying the aforementioned Kenner version toys in your living room has cost you one or more romantic relationships, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

3. If you’ve ever given a satisfied and approving winking nod to another Star Wars fan after he/she (but let’s face it, it’s probably a he) properly recited the serial numbers of the trash compactor, (3263827) You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 

2. If you’ve ever happily waited in line for over 3 hours to get Michael Culver’s autograph (Captain Needa) while steadfastly refusing to wait the 20 seconds it takes for Jake Lloyd (a.ka. “Mannequin” Skywalker) to scratch out his own name at the same collector’s convention, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 
…and finally,
 

1. If you’ve ever woken up from a blissful dream only to let out a blood curdling scream when the horrifying truth hits you - George Lucas did not (despite what you and all your friends fervently believed in 2002 would be a sincere and fair gesture of goodwill) kill off Jar Jar Binks within the first 3 minutes of Episode II, The Attack of the Clones, You Just Might Be Obsessed With The Star Wars Saga.
 
Thank you everybody. You’ve been a great audience. Try the Bantha Steaks, and don’t forget to tip your five-armed waitress.

 

People Vs. George Lucas -- powered by Mania.com
 
 
 


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 Joe Oesterle says, read his story about the world’s heaviest Elvis impersonator. Not for Joe’s sake, but for your own.
http://joeartistwriter.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/the-worlds-biggest-elvis-impersonator/#more-616
 
 
 

 



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