TV Wasteland: Eureka’s Final Season (

By:Rob Vaux
Date: Monday, April 16, 2012

I spend a lot of ink jumping all over Syfy on this column – and let’s face it, they deserve it most of the time – but this week provides a chance to see them doing something right. Season Five of Eureka premieres tonight, officially the series’ final run. The producers had hoped for a Season Six to finish things up, but last August it was announced that this would be the show’s curtain call. 

Douche move? Perhaps, but Syfy made it in plenty of time for the producers to prepare for the end. It let the show tailor the last 13 episodes to wrap up any loose plot threads, and Syfy granted them an extra episode on top of that to make sure it ended right. We still live in an era when networks can pull the plug on a beloved-yet-struggling show without giving the fanbase a chance for closure. Eureka definitely has a fanbase, and considering that they’ve tuned in pretty consistently, Syfy owes them a proper send off. By all accounts, they’re accommodating that need, and so we tip our hat to them. Thanks for not being jerks about this one guys.

The final season of Eureka kicks off this Monday, April 16, at 9:00 PM EST on Syfy.





Eureka (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
The final season premieres with the crew of the Astraeus returning after four years and dealing with the changes that they find. See the top of the article for more.

Lost Girl (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
As a Canadian import, Lost Girl is already well into Season Two. Syfy picks up the slack by diving right in after ending Season One last week.

Alien: The Director’s Cut (Cinemax, 8:00 PM EST)
I’m not sure whether this version or the original version is better – the director’s cut mucks with the Aliens’ physiology, which is very cool but doesn’t fit with subsequent mythology. All I know is that it’s well worth a look.

Death Race (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
Seriously, on basic cable? It’s not like we watch Paul W.S. Anderson for the sparkling dialogue or profound philosophizing. 

The Boondock Saints (IFC, 8:00 PM EST)
The film is much less interesting than the kerfuffle surrounding its director Troy Duffy. Check out the documentary Overnight for a dose of schadenfreude you’ll never forget. 

From Hell (IFC, 10:15 PM EST)
The Hughes Brothers deliver a fine version of Alan Moore’s Jack the Ripper tale… despite a few boners committed to keep the studio happy.

Mars Needs Moms (Starz, 7:25 PM EST)
Disney’s now legendary bomb may have contributed to John Carter’s woes by convincing the studio to remove “Mars” from the title. Despite that, it’s not a bad film: a little uninspired but hardly deserving of the reputation it incurred.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Starz, 9:00 PM EST)
The more I see of these movies, the more I’m convinced that Geoffrey Rush is as important to their success as Johnny Depp.



Fact or Faked: Paranomal Files (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
The team checks out evidence of a supposedly levitating woman and a man who can withstand extremely cold temperatures. 

Braveheart (AMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Remember when Mel Gibson kept The Crazy under wraps?

I, Robot (FMC, 9:00 PM EST)
The film has not aged particularly well, but neither is it a complete waste of time. Take it for what you will.

Ghost Hunters (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
The U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis falls under the team’s eye. I’m guessing the ghosts have a recurring “drowned at sea” theme…

Monster Man (Syfy, 10:00 PM EST)
The band Devo approaches Roy to direct one of their music videos as the first season comes to an end.

Swordfish (AMC, 8:00 PM EST)
AMC will doubtless cut the sleaze out of this delirious actioner… which really kind of defeats the purpose.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (Cinemax, 7:45 PM EST)
In the long and dismal history of unnecessary sequels, this may be the unnecessariest. 

Machete (Cinemax, 10:00 PM EST)
It just gets worse and worse on Cinemax tonight.

Knight and Day (HBO, 7:30 PM EST)
Tom Cruise still has a lot of charm. So does Cameron Diaz. Together, they make this spy caper a delightful good time.

Sexy Beast (IFC, 8:00 PM EST)
Ben Kingsley delivers the definitive anti-Gandhi in this brilliant tale of a retired British gangster whom a number of people would like to see unretired.



The Vampire Diaries (The CW, 8:00 PM EST)
Elena and Damon pay a visit to Denver, even as Tyler returns to Mystic Falls. Somewhere out there, someone cares a great deal about this.

The Secret Circle (The CW, 9:00 PM EST)
The Circle debates possible theories about what happened 16 years ago and the identity of the other Blackwell child comes to light.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (FX, 10:00 PM EST)
This is Oscar bait at its most pandering, but David Fincher gives it a lovely palate and it certainly doesn’t feel like any other movie out there.

Predators (HBO, 8:00 PM EST)
Adrien Brody, action star? Apparently so…

The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions (Syfy, 6:00 PM EST and 9:00 PM EST)
Once again, Syfy has carefully excised the good one from the equation, to better protect us from any actual entertainment.

The Big Bang Theory is a rerun.



Fringe (Fox, 9:00 PM EST)
We set the time machine for 2036, where the Fringe Division is still kicking and battling the latest threat to the planet.

Grimm (NBC, 9:00 PM EST)
A monster bounty hunter targets a murder suspect, prompting Monroe and Rosalee to find a suitable hiding place for him.

Nikita (The CW, 8:00 PM EST)
One of Nikita’s former targets abducts and tortures her in revenge. I’m guessing he ultimately regrets the decision.

Supernatural (The CW, 9:00 PM EST)
A fellow hunter and friend of the Winchesters disappears in a haunted house.

Taken (FX, 8:00 PM EST)
It may be cheap exploitation, but it’s awfully hard to resist.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (TMC, 8:00 PM EST)
Ah Uwe Boll, where would the blood pressure of the entire video game community be without you?

Centurion (10:10 PM EST)
This terrific story of a Roman legionnaire trapped in the wilds of Scotland features a great pre-star performance from Michael Fassbender.



Outlander (Syfy, 6:30 PM EST)
A cool space alien comes to Dark Ages Earth to help the Vikings with a monster problem. It’s probably a lot cooler if you’re stoned.

Alien Tornado (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
They really don’t need to think these things through past the titles, do they? In any case, this latest bit of Syfy silliness involves extraterrestrial invaders who send electrical tornadoes to wipe us out, only to be thwarted by a farmer, his daughter and a “tornado blogger.” How did this reach our TV screens? My money’s on “bar bet gone horribly wrong.”

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (TCM, 8:00 PM EST)
People tend to forget Steven Spielberg’s classic science fiction fantasy when discussing his greatest works.  That doesn’t make it any less of masterpiece.

Rollerball (TCM, 10:30 PM EST)
James Caan + roller skates + dystopian future = retro 70s awesome. 

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Bravo, 9:00 PM EST)
Spielberg is all over the tube tonight, though this second entry in the Indiana Jones series doesn’t rank on quite the same level as the others.

Jaws (Cinemax, 7:50 PM EST)
Now this one, this one is a gem. 



Game of Thrones (HBO, 9:00 PM EST)
After getting spanked on the battlefield, Joffrey looks for scapegoats, prompting Tyrion to step in and slap him until he cries. Okay probably not, but hope does spring eternal.

Once Upon a Time (ABC, 8:00 PM EST)
Kathryn is gone and Emma goes to the Mayor for answers. In the fairy-tale world, Rumplestiltskin seeks help from his son to give up his powers and return to a normal life.

2012 (FX, 7:00 PM EST)
I will point out once again that Arnold Schwarzenegger is no longer governor of California. Why is this the only faux pas in the entire movie that bugs me? I have no idea…

Your Highness (HBO, 7:10 PM EST)
Stinky, stinky stinky movie!!!!

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (Syfy, 6:30 PM EST)
Who on Earth was clamoring to turn this into a franchise?!

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginning (Syfy, 9:00 PM EST)
They’re kidding, right? They’re not kidding? Are you sure? *Sigh.*

The Dark Knight (TNT, 8:00 PM EST)

Any week I can end my column with this little gem is a good week… especially considering the other movies on tonight.