The Walking Dead: Claimed Review (

Review Date: Monday, February 24, 2014

This week on The Walking Dead, we spend time with a new set of characters, Carl would rather drink his dead sister’s formula, Michonne commits a major no-no when naming a child, Rick gets new clothes (finally!) and spends half the episode under a bed while viewers spend half the episode bored out of their minds.

Tara and a passed out Glen are on a truck riding with Sgt. Abraham Ford (luckiest man in the world, smiling zombie basher, and has a real positive outlook on life compared to our usual doom and gloom survivors), Rosita (not much known about her other than she’s rocking them booty shorts yo!), and Eugene (looks like a sexual predator, probably because of his mullet but is actually a scientist with classified info on how to stop the zombies).    They are on their way to Washington DC to save the world with Eugene’s information until Glen wakes up and decides the world ain’t worth saving if he can’t be with Maggie.  Can’t say we blame him, sure avoiding the extinction of the human race might seem important but not when your wife is Maggie hot.

Abraham makes his case to Glen for joining the Save the World mission, Glen ain’t having none of it and punches Abraham.  Got to give credit to Glen, he’s got balls to strike a bigger guy than him.  A fight breaks out between them, and while the Tara and Rosita try to stop it, zombies pop up from the nearby cornfield.  With everyone tied up, it is up to Eugene and his mullet to put and end to them zombies.  Unfortunately, Euguen can’t shoot and ends up shooting the truck’s gas tank instead.  That effectively puts a stop to their Washington DC plan.  After the zombies are disposed of, everyone decides to backtrack with Glen while they wait to find another vehicle.

The Carl, Michonne and Rick part of the episode was boring as hell!  Carl & Michonne just scavange for supplies from house to house, eventually ending up in a place where a family had decided to commit suicide instead of facing a zombie filled world.  Throughout the scavenging, Carl plays a 20 questions type game with Michonne, and thankfully we get a bit more of Michonne’s backstory, specifically her three-year-old son named Andre Anthony.  As you can see, Michonne made a cardinal sin when naming a boy.  You never start a boy’s middle name with an A name because you’re setting him up for ridicule growing up. Exhibit A is Andre Anthony or Andre A.  The poor child was doomed to be called Andrea by bullies growing up.  Good thing he’s dead.

Carl and Michonne didn’t take Rick along for the supply scavenging run because Rick was still exhausted from the ass kicking The Governor put on him.  He remained in the house and fell asleep but before he slept a major event happened on this show.  Rick Grimes got rid of the shirt he’s been wearing for what seems like forever and finally got a spanking new white shirt!  It’s kind of sad that he lost his shirt, that thing had become part of his body and we wanted to see it survive the zombie apocalypse with Rick.  

Rick wakes up to strange noises coming from inside the house and quickly realizes he’s not alone so he hides under the bed.  Inside the house are a group of guys who must live under the worst conditions imaginable if they are willing to kill in order to sleep in a queen size bed.  No answers as to who these men are, although they may be survivors residing in the Terminus sanctuary.  Rick makes his escape from under the bed and attempts to flee the house.  On his way out he hides in the bathroom and walks in on a guy who was seconds away from beginning his masturbation session.  Now, you may say that’s not the case at all and that he was actually about to take a dump but you’d be wrong and here is why.  Everyone knows the first step in taking a dump is lifting the toilet lid followed by dropping your pants but this guy was sitting on the toilet with the lid down, and his pants were still on.  Therefore, Rick walked in on this guy when he was about to whip it, whip it good.  Not happy someone interrupting his me time, the guy and Rick throw down.  Rick wins, gets out the house and along the way picks up a jacket.  Not sure why Rick picked up a jacket though, seems hot as hell out there.   Rick grabs Carl and Michonne who were on their way back from scavenging and head on out to Terminus to hopefully meet with Tyrese, Carol, and the girls.

Next week its Carol, Beth and everyone’s favorite more scavenging!

Mania Grade: C
Episode: Claimed (Season 4, Episode 11)
Starring: Andrew Lincoln, Norman Reedus, Steven Yeun, Lauren Cohan, Michael Cudlitz, Alanna Masterson, Christian Serratos
Written By: Robert Kirkman (creator)
Directed By: ?
Network: AMC
Studio: American Movie Classics (AMC), Circle of Confusion, Valhalla Motion Pictures