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DEATH CURSE OF TARTU / STING OF DEATH

DEATH CURSE OF TARTU concerns the grizzly fate of a group of archeology student out in the (surprise) Florida Everglades. The story starts with an explorer investigating the tomb of an ancient Seminole witch doctor, Tartu, deceased at least 400 years. Naturally, Tartu isn't quite dead - otherwise there'd be no movie - and he kills the poor soul and takes some scrolls off his person. Wouldn't you know it, the scrolls just happen to be the credits to the movie and Tartu leisurely reads through them. Meanwhile, another explorer makes his way to near the burial site and mills about for 15 minutes until Tartu turns into a large anaconda, leaps out of a tree (can snakes leap?) and asphyxiates our poor second explorer. Fresh meat comes soon enough as a group of four students, their guide and his girlfriend arrive on the burial site to, well, pretty much die. Don't want to give away too much of the fun, but be warned: if you didn't think a shark could get you in the middle of a fresh water swamp, well, you just rent this sucker.

All jesting aside, DEATH CURSE OF TARTU is a rather engaging little number that almost overcomes its budget limitations with the rather good acting of lead Fred Pinero, and a hair-raising chase of a young, naive actress by a real big alligator. Oh, and lets not forget the cute girls in this movie - they may not get nekkid, but they sure do dance a mighty fine go-go. This is prime drive-in product.

The print quality of DEATH CURSE OF TARTU is fairly bleached out from age, but considering how many prints were made of films like this, you're luck to have any print at all. The soundtrack is a little haggard - pops and such - but you'll get used to it after awhile.

STING OF DEATH is about a marine biologist's mad assistant who has managed to turn an oversized Portuguese Man of War into a diving helmet (or is he a Were-Portuguese Man of War? - things are sketchy on this point) and goes out and stings people to death. An additional power - being able to control other Portuguese Man of Wars and make them do his evil bidding - is made apparent when a school of the little stingers attack a sinking boat filled with go-go dancing teens, leaving them all to... oh, it's too horrible, too horrible to tell. The larger question remains of why why, dear God, why?!!! - there needs to be a body count (and it's a big one). Well, cause the guy's a little bit on the disfigured side and forced to wear dirty shirts, which lends itself to his being violently harassed by uncaring "beautiful people" - "beautiful people" who need to die. Apparently gun shops were closed the week this plan was hatched, and what better disguise than becoming a huge Portuguese Man of War? Who would believe you even if you confessed?

A story of boy meets girl, girl is loved by a second guy, second guy is ugly, girl doesn't love second guy, second guy become huge killer Jelly Fish... it's so cliché. Nevertheless, STING OF DEATH is the masterpiece on this disc, benefiting from good performances, a smidgen of go-go dancing, the non-hit Neil Sedaka song "Do the Jelly Fish," and one of the stranger monsters in film history. William Grefe has some great set pieces and the scene where the young teens are ambushed by hordes of plastic bags - um, I mean Portuguese Man of Wars - as their boat sinks is rather impressive in its brutality and grim finale.

The print quality of STING OF DEATH is fantastic and the movie looks great (rich colors, strong contrast); the cinematography is reminiscent of the films of Norman Taurog and Elvis Presley. The soundtrack is a bit rough, but better than DEATH CURSE OF TARTU - more importantly, the Neil Sedaka song comes out sounding excellent. The DVD provides the lyrics to that immortal classic on the inside sleeve of the DVD.

What would a Something Weird disc be without a healthy heaping of extras? Fortunately we don't have to find out cause good old Mike Vraney, SW honcho, loads up this sundae.

First off is a collection of trailers featuring the works of William Grefe. William Shatner fans will be upset by the lack of a trailer for WANT A RIDE, LITTLE GIRL? but look at what you do get: DEATH CURSE OF TARTU, THE JAWS OF DEATH, RACING FEVER, STING OF DEATH, THE WILD REBEL and the greatest film ever made, STANLEY. You will laugh, cry, laugh, cringe, laugh, smirk and laugh some more as you watch these gems - you'll also beg Mike Vraney, if he can, to release a double feature of THE JAWS OF DEATH and STANLEY because those two films must be seen.

There is a 30-minute collection of rare scenes from STING OF DEATH producer Richard S. Flink's gore film LOVE GODDESSES OF BLOOD ISLAND. This film falls in the realm of the H.G. Lewis type gore film - lots of mannequin injuries and hunks of meat fall off from outside the body - and demands to be shown in full but isn't. Notable highlights from the clips are the laughable narration, the goddesses (you think it's gonna be a strip tease but, SIKE, it isn't) dance around a large hot tub, and best of all the musical number set to the song "Love Goddess" that may just be the worst song ever written. Oh, and dig the voice of that singer - far out man, far out.

What's a Something Weird video without a strip tease? Mr. Vraney provides with the inclusion of the featurette MIAMI OR BUST. While this sort of goes against the PG fair of the rest of the disc, who cares? In MIAMI OR BUST you're treated to a three-minute introduction of footage of Miami featuring some of the most clunky pans on record, then the money scene. Um, the stripper featured is rather, well, uh, unappealing, but she makes up for it in, well, nudity. Imagine the grandmother with blue hair next door a little younger and you get the general idea.

The back of the DVD case promises a gallery of "Horror Drive-In" exploitation art and "Horrorama" radio spot rarities, but they seem to have been left off - unless there's an Easter egg I couldn't find.

Two entertaining monster movies on 10 dollar budgets, DEATH CURSE OF TARTU and STING OF DEATH give the Something Weird fan just what they need - glorious reminders of what movies were like back when practically anybody could get a distribution deal as long as they had a product. They also go to prove that the formula Florida + Low Budget + 1960s didn't always equal Nudity + Volleyball.