The Buffy the Vampire Slayer star cut about five inches off her long locks, and now entertainment publications and Web sites are all abuzz about it.
What's the big freakin' deal, you ask? Well, remember back in 2000 when Felicity star Keri Russell cut her long, curly, gorgeous hair? No? Well here's how the story goes: Shortly after Russell cut her hair, her show's ratings dipped and WB execs blamed her new short haircut. No joke. Then the WB issued a "no haircuts" policy for WB stars. I'm serious, folks. Well, now people are wondering if the same fate awaits Buffy over on UPN.
I'm sure the haircut had nothing to do with the decrease in viewers for Felicity, just as I'm sure this will not be an issue for Buffy. I think Buffy is bigger and better than a hairdo. If it wasn't then I could think of a couple of episodes in which Willow's hair would have viewers running away in droves.
You know, if your show depends on your star's hairstyle for ratings then you need to hire some new writers, but that's just my opinion.
You'll be Those three nerds return to plague BUFFY in "Gone." © 2001 UPNable to judge the new haircut yourself. It was written into the script for the Jan. 8 episode. In the episode, appropriately titled "Gone," the Buffster cuts her hair while having a panic attack about her relationship with Spike. (Hey guys, the new and drastic hairstyle is a tip-off that things aren't all hunky-dory with your lady. Just a little helpful advice from your Uncle Sonia.)
I've seen pictures of the new haircut and I think it looks as cute as hell. Of course, Gellar could get a flattop and it would look cute - kinda butch, but cute.
Anyway, let me break down the week for you. And, as always, check your local listings.
Monday, December 31
Assuming you're not into watching Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve or whatever he calls that crappy show these days, you can always check out the Sci-Fi Channel's TWILIGHT ZONE marathon. It begins at 7 a.m. today and runs until 3 a.m. next year (hee hee, I mean Tuesday).
I guess marathons are all the rage. A&E has got a LAW & ORDER marathon starting at 8 p.m.
Oh, and baby fish mouth is sweeping the nation. Don't get that reference? Then obviously you need to watch WHEN HARRY MET SALLY one more time (TNT, 7 p.m.).
Need a little sex? Well HBO is airing 10 episodes of SEX AND THE CITY back-to-sexy-back starting at 10 p.m.
Tuesday, January 1
Reruns! What a way to start out the New Year huh?
Buffy goes on a job hunt in tonight's rerun of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.).
Well, at least there's an all-new ROSWELL for the few people who still watch it (UPN, 9 p.m.). Max and Maria join forces to find the infamous Roswell New Year's Eve rave.
Reese takes a cooking class in tonight's rerun of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (Fox, 8:30 p.m.).
Rupert, don't take the cork off the fork. ABC has got DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS at 8 p.m.
Oh yeah! This is a can't-miss BEHIND THE MUSIC on VH-1 at 8 p.m. Ladies and gentlemen, kneel before the awesome Weird Al Yankovic.
Wednesday, January 2
The crew Captain Archer meets Shran (Jeffrey Combs) in "The Andorian Incident." © 2001 UPNpays a visit to an ancient Vulcan sanctuary that has been taken over by Andorians in tonight's rerun of ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.).
Nick and Kate discover the secret to eternal youth in tonight's SPECIAL UNIT 2 on UPN at 9 p.m. Geez, everybody knows that secret to eternal youth. You have to drink Dick Clark's blood between 11:59 p.m. and 12:00 a.m. on New Year's Eve. Why do you think he hosts that live telecast every year? Duh!
I guess he's just the crying on the inside kind of clown. Check out Bill Murray in QUICK CHANGE on Comedy Central at 8 p.m.
TBS has got GLADIATOR at 9 p.m. Sorry, it's not that Russell Crowe one. It's the other one. You know, the stupid one about a couple of guys (Cuba Gooding Jr., James Marshall) who meet at a fight club. And it's not even one of those cool fight clubs like in that movie FIGHT CLUB.
Thursday, January 3
Grissom fears a serial killer is loose when an apparent suicide victim is found in a bathtub with a tape recorder, just like a previous murder that was staged to look like a suicide in tonight's rerun of CSI (CBS, 9 p.m.).
A disfigured demon (played by Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund) shrinks Phoebe when the witch goes alone to a creepy house that Paige asks her sisters to investigate in tonight's rerun of CHARMED (WB, 9 p.m.). Damn that Paige. She's always causing trouble.
Give me the keys you mutha-[expletive deleted] [expletive-deleted]. Check out the seriously uncool edited version of THE USUAL SUSPECTS on ABC at 9 p.m.
Ummm, pardon me but I think you have my stapler. Comedy Central has got the underrated comic gem OFFICE SPACE at 8 p.m. If you haven't seen it then you are missin' out. Honestly, it's Mike Judge's best work since BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA.
Friday, January 4
Superhero Alert! Check out JUSTICE LEAGUE on the Cartoon Network at 7 p.m.
You can watch HAPPY GILMORE on Fox at 8 p.m. Or maybe you could eat some hay, or make things out of clay. You just may... Sorry, it's a joke from the movie. I think it's funny.
TBS has... hee hee... OCTOPUSSY at 8 p.m. You know, I had OCTOPUSSY once, but I took some penicillin for it and it went away.
And over at TNT, there's THE MUMMY at 8 p.m. Ummm, yeah, you could watch THE MUMMY or you could turn off the TV and stare at the blank screen. It's just as enjoyable.
It's not a tumah. Check out Arnold in all his comedic glory in KINDERGARTEN COP on USA at 9 p.m.
Saturday, January 5
Hey, remember Demi Moore? Yeah well, G.I. JANE is on ABC at 8 p.m. I just thought you might want to know.
Buffy has TREMORS © 2001 Universal Home Videoa close encounter of the evil kind with Spike on parent-teacher night in BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (syndicated, check local listings).
The hunt for a missing government figure leads Dylan to a showdown at a bar on the outskirts of a desert wasteland in tonight's GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA (syndicated, check local listings).
TNT has got TREMORS at 7 p.m. It's that Kevin Bacon movie where he doesn't dance or get naked. Weird huh?
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN at 7 p.m. on AMC. Around my house we call that a blind date.
You know that horror movie PROM NIGHT (Sci-Fi, 8 p.m.)? Well... that totally happened to me. OK, it wasn't me. But, it totally happened to my best friend's cousin from Canada.
Sunday, January 6
The gang experiments with the Professor's What-If machine in tonight's FUTURAMA (Fox, 7 p.m.). I'm positive that hilarity ensues.
Bobby and Connie pretend to break-up in tonight's KING OF THE HILL on Fox at 7:30 p.m.
A game of Monopoly gets ugly, really ugly, and a social worker is called in to make peace in tonight's THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Hal knows when to hold'em, knows when to fold'em in tonight's MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (Fox, 8:30 p.m.) when he plays some poker with Abe.
And over at THE X-FILES (Fox, 9 p.m.) Reyes and Doggett are contacted by a man who claims he has classified files that can identify the "Super Soldiers." But wouldn't you know it. He'll only talk to Mulder. Wah-wah.
Vaughan makes a dirty deal with a terrorist to save Sydney's life in tonight's ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.). Ahhh, the things we do for love.
Write this down: VH-1. 8 p.m. UHF. Got it?
MTV has got BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA at 8 p.m. Hee hee, I said "Do."
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.
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