I've got some good news for you guys. KNIGHT RIDER reruns start on the Sci Fi Channel next month.
Oh wait. That wasn't the good news. That's just some news.
The good news is ROSWELL reruns start on the Sci Fi Channel next month January 13 to be exact.
I was never a ROSWELL devotee but I know how much you guys love it, so I thought I'd give you a little holiday present and clue you in.
Oh, save your angry e-mails about how great KNIGHT RIDER is. I was just kidding. I know you didn't send off an angry e-mail yet, but I know how your nerdy little minds work. You were planning to.
I'm guessing that between ROSWELL, KNIGHT RIDER and the return of new episodes of FARSCAPE and STARGATE SG-1, you guys are going to be busy little geeks in the New Year.
Yeah, so anyway, on to a completely different topic: You guys wanna hear something scary?
OK, here DINOTOPIA © 2002 Hallmark Entertainmentyou go: during the week of November 25 through December 1, about 5.7 million people watched DINOTOPIA!!!
Oh, the horror.
That's more viewers than BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER; more than ENTERPRISE; more than ANGEL.
How sad is that? More people are willing to watch a show so mind-numbingly terrible like DINOTOPIA than something as entertaining and smart as BUFFY.
I suspect these DINOTOPIA watchers are the same people who watched BABY BOB.
Yeah, so anyway, let me know what you think. E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com.
Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.
Monday, December 9
Tonight is the beginning of the second week of TAKEN, which airs every night this week at 9 p.m.
Are you checking out Trio? You should be. The network's "Brilliant But Cancelled" series continues with sitcom THE FAMOUSE TEDDY Z, starring Jon Cryer, everyday at 4 p.m. and the hilarious ACTION, starring Jay Mohr and Illeana Douglas, everyday at 5 p.m.
The town learns that the baby Nina is having isn't her own in this repeat of EVERWOOD (WB, 9 p.m.).
Horatio's former mentor gets his head blown off in this repeat of CSI: MIAMI at 10 p.m. I guess that makes it personal or something.
TUESDAY, December 10
Ewww, this repeat of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.) is the one with the skin-eating demon. Man, that was the grossest thing I'd see since, well, the episode of FEAR FACTOR I saw the day before it.
Emily meddles in Lorelai's love life and arguments ensue in this repeat of GILMORE GIRLS (WB, 8 p.m.).
Clark fesses up to Pete about his superpowers in this repeat of SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.), finally giving Pete something to do in the show.
It's 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. and Jack and Nina start working together and Palmer's ex is back in tonight's all-new 24 (Fox, 9 p.m.).
MTV has got the comedy goldmine that is THE OSBOURNES at 10:30 p.m.
WEDNESDAY, December 11
Bernie finds out he's got high cholesterol and hilarity ensues in tonight's all-new BERNIE MAC (Fox, 8 p.m.). Next week: Bernie finds out he has diabetes and the jokes start flying.
Trip discovers a kidnapped Krios royal aboard an alien freighter, but her haughty behavior interferes with Trip's rescue efforts when the pair must share a cramped pod in tonight's ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.). It's like IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT except not as clever.
The guys almost blow their cover while investigating a high-end call-girl ring run by a murderous pimp in tonight's all-new episode of FASTLANE (Fox, 9 p.m.). Hee hee. I used "blow" and "pimp" in the same sentence.
Dinah's mommy David Boreanaz as Angel, Jennifer Autry as Lornette #2 in "The House Always Wins." © The WBcomes for a visit in this repeat of BIRDS OF PREY (WB, 9 p.m.).
A man suspects a conspiracy in the consistently bad breaks he has been getting in tonight's THE TWILIGHT ZONE (UPN, 9 p.m.). And that man is you guessed it Ziggy.
Don't forget to check out an all-new SOUTH PARK at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.
THURSDAY, December 12
Hey, remember that show LA FEMME NIKITA? Well, the Oxygen channel has two episodes back-to-back, starting at 8 p.m. Actually, you can catch NIKITA reruns every day on Oxygen. And you thought Oxygen was only for chicks.
J.D. gets a crush on a cashier in tonight's SCRUBS (NBC, 8:30 p.m.).
Catherine probes the shooting death of a man who was killed with his own gun in tonight's CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.). Yep, there's another reason to not own a gun.
A man and his six-year-old daughter disappear in tonight's all-new WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS, 10 p.m.).
FRIDAY, December 13
A bounty hunter infiltrates Serenity to nab River in tonight's FIREFLY at 8 p.m.
CBS is airing the classic RULDPOLH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER at 8 p.m. Great, like my aching back isn't enough to make me feel old...
George Clooney has never looked hotter than he did in OUT OF SIGHT, airing at 8 p.m. on USA. Mmmmm, George.
The mysterious symbol on Doe's chest is part of the calling card left by a serial killer who knows a lot about Doe in tonight's all-new JOHN DOE (Fox, 9 p.m.). This sounds like a job for THE PRETENDER, er, I mean JOHN DOE.
Showtime has got ODYSSEY 5 followed by JEREMIAH, starting at 10 p.m.
SATURDAY, December 14
Start laughing now the ACTION marathon on Trio begins at 5:30 p.m.
CBS has got the original FROSTY THE SNOWMAN at 8 p.m. Mmmmm, Frosty.
I think ARMAGADDEON (ABC, 8 p.m.) is one of the worst movies I've seen in the last decade - even the hunkiness of Ben Affleck and Owen Wilson and the coolness of Steve Buscemi couldn't make me enjoy this piece of @$%&.
Al Gore is hosting SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE at 11:30 p.m. You think they'll just have him dance for an hour and a half? Have you ever seen him dance? Now, that's funny.
SUNDAY, December 15
Set, ready, start your recorders the NOW & AGAIN marathon on Trio begins at 11 a.m.
Leela meets her mutant parents in tonight's FUTURAMA (Fox, 7 p.m.). Yep, it's another repeat.
UPN is giving you a second chance to check out Wednesday's ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.
Piper is assigned to protect a retiring elder being hunted by a demon in this repeat of CHARMED (WB, 8 p.m.). What a whiny old lady! I mean, we're all haunted by personal demons. Oh wait, she's hunted by a real demon. Never mind.
Sideshow Bob returns in tonight's all-new THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 8 p.m.).
Hank is ordered to take an anger-management class after accidentally cutting one of Dale's fingers off in tonight's KING OF THE HILL (Fox, 8:30 p.m.).
Malcolm hooks up with a rebellious girl in this repeat of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (Fox, 9 p.m.). Sooooo, Malcolm's into the bad girls, huh?
Angel, Gunn Lori Loughlin guest stars as Dinah's mother, Carolyn on the "Sins of the Mother" episode of BIRDS OF PREY © 2002 WBand Fred head out to Vegas to free Lorne in this repeat of ANGEL (WB, 9 p.m.).
Andy convinces Bryon to violate the rules of his newly discovered religion in tonight's hilarious, all-new ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE (Fox, 9:30 p.m.). Rules are made for breaking, even if it means you're going to burn in hell for it. Everybody knows that.
Irina makes things awkward for Jack by telling him an unsettling truth about their KGB-orchestrated marriage in tonight's al-new ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.). Oh boy! Gossip!
Don't forget to check out tonight's all-new BOOMTOWN (NBC, 10 p.m.). One of the best shows on network TV.
The Cartoon Network's ADULT SWIM begins at 10 p.m.
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.
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