THE DESCENT

By: Oren Kamara
Review Date: Friday, July 14, 2006

There seems to be a lot of hype surrounding the underground (no pun intended) Brit hit, THE DESCENT and so I was very eager to sink my teeth into it. Originally released in the UK, this flick just got a second wind as the US awaits its theatrical release on August 4th. Now, I'll be honest, I started snooping around other horror movie review sites to see what they had to say. Every one of them praised this film from top to bottom. I was psyched.

The story goes like this: a young woman is still reeling from the loss of her family a year after their tragic deaths. Her five close friends invite her on a daring, rugged, get-your-hands-dirty spelunking expedition that is sure to change all their lives (and, boy, does it). What appears to be a challenging adventure turns deadly serious when the women get trapped deep within the dark caverns. Desperate to find a way out, they turn on one another, their tempers flaring like a bad episode of Desperate Housewives. Twist after twist, they weave their way into the unknown deep beneath the surface of the Earth. The stakes get higher. The risks increase. Soon, the spunky one of the bunch breaks her leg, giving the rest of the group a time-sensitive dilemma (not too mention one hell of a headache). Somewhere around this point in the film, which by now is nearing the end of the cave-exploring ride, the creatures show up to the party. These blind humanoid-bats, who look like a cross between Nosferatu and the Gollum, prey upon humans and animals dumb enough to delve into this mysterious pit of doom. The girls and man-bats tango a bit, roll around in the dirt, run and scream until only one woman remains standing. The UK version features a darker twist ending but the happy everyone-holding-hands US ending is a dud.

Clocking in at just under ninety minutes, I found this movie to be, well, disappointing. Outright boring for the first hour and just decent for the remaining. I may be the only reviewer panning this one, but I call it like I see it. This movie has been called an instant horror classic, on par with ALIENS, THE THING, and THE EXORCIST. It's a good flick in its own right, but far from amazing or never before seen. I'm not saying it was all bad. THE DESCENT has its moments, but sporadic moments do not make for a great classic.

Director Neil Marshall's first film was the sleeper hit, DOG SOLDIERS and I enjoyed that film far more than his second attempt. I can understand and appreciate his approach to this movie: make the characters believable, well-developed, and a tough bunch of cookies who can wield the blade if needed. He focused on the story development very closely and made sure to connect all the dots. But I felt he left out the most important element. . .the horror. Case in point: the first kill in this puppy clocks in at the fifty-ninth minute. One hour into the movie and we get our first kill! Yes, the opening scene has the obligatory death that sets the wheels of the story in motion, but that's a given in a horror film. If you don't have someone die in the first five minutes, you better be making a damn comedy.


True, a horror movie doesn't have to be sliced, diced, and saturated by buckets of blood to be good (although it helps, in my opinion). It doesn't have to show graphic details to be scary. A few of the greatest scares in horror cinema history come from what is not shown. However, this one felt like it was not in the above category. Although Marshall was going for a more psychological angle, pinpointing the human element and all that jazz, it didn't work for me. It was long, drawn out and did not pay off.

They say in the film world, if you have five actors then your sixth and seventh actors are the music and editing. They literally can make or break a film. The music in the Descent was for the most part good. It flowed and kept you in the moment. However (c'mon you knew I was on a roll), I don't know what to make of the blatant rip-off of Carpenter's THE THING theme music. Now, I've read a few reviews where they referred to this as "inspired by" but I would disagree. If a movie came out with a score that was almost note for note the unmistakable sounds of the HALLOWEEN theme, people would not stand for it. That familiar double baseline from The Thing is Descent's theme music and it screams stolen property, or as they say in film, heavily borrowed. But my bigger qualm is with the editing. It was a very clean, crisp-looking movie until any action came a'creeping. The editing cuts were so quick and choppy they would make Michael Bay jealous. I mean you could not tell what was up or down, what was creature or girl...it was like watching a four year old on too much sugar: dizzying.

Overall, Descent did not live up to all the hype for me. It fell short, way short. It got some of the points across; the claustrophobia, the anguish, the conflicts, the plot. There were even a few great scares (a la ALIENS), the best being use of a video camera's infrared vision and a tight jump scare. But Descent missed the mark on the heavyweights: the horror, likable characters (I'd settle for tolerable), creature screen time, the pacing of the kills, and good ol' gore. I think Marshall was just trying too hard to make this one a thinking piece when it could have been a great popcorn ride. Some things hidden deep down in the dark recesses of the Earth should stay there...like the hype behind this mediocre horror film.

Overall Rating: 3 Stalactites out of 5