Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker in SPIDER-MAN 3 (2007)
© Columbia Pictures
Does Whatever a Mailbag Can
By: Kurt AmackerDate: Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Greetings, Maniacs, and welcome to another web-slinging, wall-crawling edition of Comicscape, where we elevate Internet discourse above typing in “leet.” Last week, I offered my mixed review of Spider-Man 3. In short, while I thoroughly enjoyed the first two films, I felt that fan pressure on Marvel and Sam Raimi to include Venom and Gwen Stacy adversely affected this film. This forced the screenwriters to effectively remove the Sandman – apparent death – and Harry Osborn – amnesia – early in the film to make room for the wholly unnecessary subplot with the black symbiote costume, Eddie Brock, and Venom. Effectively, the film suffered for the shortchanging of the compelling character arcs from the first two films, along with the new one – the Sandman and his daughter – introduced in this one. At the same time, Spider-Man 3 left viewers with a heartfelt look at the effects of power and revenge. Coupled with great performances from most of the cast – including Topher Grace as Brock – it still merits a viewing. Regardless, fans will likely remember Spider-Man 3 in the same spirit as so many okay-not-great third films – Return of the Jedi (yes, I said it again), Alien 3, The Godfather Part III, Beyond the Thunderdome, X-Men: The Last Stand, Blade: Trinity, and others.
Most of readers that e-mailed me agreed with the review, but a few people really enjoyed the film. Brian Adelman writes, “I have two scales for every film I watch. One is the popcorn munch ‘Are you not entertained!?’ scale. That's pretty easy. We assume maximum entertainment and subtract boring stuff. Boring is the death of entertainment.”
I don’t find Michael Bay films boring, but they still suck to high heaven. Go on.
“The other is the ‘Road to Perfect Filmcraft’ scale. On that filmcraft scale, I try to consider what the director was trying to create and how the end resulted therein. I average those two numbers to get the overall Filmcraft score. Obviously, deficits of the one scale can affect the overall experience of the other, in either direction. Spider-Man 3 is a stew, with big chunks of savory meat and various crisp veggies and a very weak gravy to hold it together. It's like Sam Raimi was cooking something wonderful, when his helpers started throwing in a few leftovers just to clean out the larder.”
“The other is the ‘Road to Perfect Filmcraft’ scale. On that filmcraft scale, I try to consider what the director was trying to create and how the end resulted therein. I average those two numbers to get the overall Filmcraft score. Obviously, deficits of the one scale can affect the overall experience of the other, in either direction. Spider-Man 3 is a stew, with big chunks of savory meat and various crisp veggies and a very weak gravy to hold it together. It's like Sam Raimi was cooking something wonderful, when his helpers started throwing in a few leftovers just to clean out the larder.”
Marvel and every other media company needs to leave competent directors the hell alone and let them work their magic. If you want a hack that will churn out something to make 13-year-olds happy on Friday night, don’t raise everyone’s hopes with a guy like Sam Raimi. Raimi knows how to make compelling, artistic works of pop cinema – ones both entertaining and transcendent.
“Let me give you the deep stuff. Spider-Man 3 is about giving in to vengeance. The problem lies in how ambitious Raimi is in creating the web that pulls all the characters into that theme. Think about it. Harry Osborn requires vengeance – pretty straightforward. Not much of a plot there, though. The conflict would be linear and there wouldn't be much we could do with it beyond the fight and resolution. In order to pull the theme off, we had to get Peter into the vengeance game. But, we've hashed that out in the first movie. Without killing off Aunt May or Mary Jane (now there's a good idea), we had to dig up old Uncle Ben. That is where Flint Marko comes in. He is there to give us a path for Peter to explore the darkness in himself and create moral crisis in the hero. Then, there's the icky-sticky suit from space. The suit helps illustrate how wearing a skin of darkness will ultimately change who you are. The more you give into that darkness, the more the darkness gets into you, until there is nothing left of your true self. Not a bad metaphor and very Nietzsche.”
“Let me give you the deep stuff. Spider-Man 3 is about giving in to vengeance. The problem lies in how ambitious Raimi is in creating the web that pulls all the characters into that theme. Think about it. Harry Osborn requires vengeance – pretty straightforward. Not much of a plot there, though. The conflict would be linear and there wouldn't be much we could do with it beyond the fight and resolution. In order to pull the theme off, we had to get Peter into the vengeance game. But, we've hashed that out in the first movie. Without killing off Aunt May or Mary Jane (now there's a good idea), we had to dig up old Uncle Ben. That is where Flint Marko comes in. He is there to give us a path for Peter to explore the darkness in himself and create moral crisis in the hero. Then, there's the icky-sticky suit from space. The suit helps illustrate how wearing a skin of darkness will ultimately change who you are. The more you give into that darkness, the more the darkness gets into you, until there is nothing left of your true self. Not a bad metaphor and very Nietzsche.”
Plenty of people slide into darkness and moral turmoil without help from outer space. The amazing powers Peter has make such a descent more than understandable. Power corrupts. The public accolades and attention Peter has received by the start of the film could have easily justified his inflated ego and the Sandman angle could have pushed him over the edge. The symbiote never justifies itself and only appears coincidentally.
“Finally, as a direct result of giving into the suit – the skin of darkness – we see Eddie Brock giving himself over to vengeance and becoming the evil Venom, hell-bent on destroying the embodiment of all his (and the suit's) woes – Peter Parker. Okay, this is not a bad plotline. In fact, it is quite good and well in keeping with the character based plotlines of the first two movies.
Where it failed is in the implementation – what a wasted storyline. Clearly, Brock was supposed to be the ‘what if Peter gave into evil’ example. That duality could have been pulled off, but for the waste of time with the ‘amnesia Harry’ and ‘Dancing Emo Parker.’ As it is, Eddie was completely unsympathetic and therefore we never got a sense that there could have been anything similar between the two characters.”
Where it failed is in the implementation – what a wasted storyline. Clearly, Brock was supposed to be the ‘what if Peter gave into evil’ example. That duality could have been pulled off, but for the waste of time with the ‘amnesia Harry’ and ‘Dancing Emo Parker.’ As it is, Eddie was completely unsympathetic and therefore we never got a sense that there could have been anything similar between the two characters.”
I think we more or less agree here. The entire Eddie Brock story deserved a film unto itself – one that could justifiably incorporate the symbiote and allow the comparison between Peter and Eddie to breathe a little bit. If I had written the screenplay, I probably would’ve had Peter acquire the black costume towards the end of the film and use it to defeat Harry or the Sandman. Then, the movie would end happily with Peter in the black costume. The fans would know what to expect in the next film, though. Years of Venom-hype would build for the next film, ensuring an opening weekend so big that people in tribal cultures would see it. Thanks for writing.
Don writes, “I really enjoyed your current column on Spider-Man 3.”
I aim to please. I’m glad you liked it.
“And I agree with you about everything, except for one thing: this was not a good film. Now, this may be, in some part, related to my general ambivalence towards Spider-Man as a character. But, that doesn't keep me from saying Spider-Man 2 was about as perfect as a superhero movie can get.”
I agree with you. In fact, the comparison between the two made me realize how brilliant Spider-Man 2 really is.
“Spider-Man 3, unfortunately, just doesn't live up to its predecessor. For one thing, Raimi decided to get a lot more campy, schmaltzy, and goofy. From the awful jazz club scene, to the ridiculous ‘strutting’ scene, to the really bad ‘key to the city’ scene, well, it just doesn't get any more eye-rolling.”
The dance scenes struck me as wholly unnecessary. But, the scene with the key to the city and a few other campy moments didn’t bother me as much. Honestly, it kind of reminded me of some of the 1970s and ’80 back issues I read when I was a kid (hello, Uncle Scott) – campy, but with an innocent charm. But, given the tone of the first two films, I can understand how that wouldn’t sit well with everyone.
“And what was up with the special effects this installment? Half the time I couldn't tell what the hell was going on, and why'd Venom look so cheesy close-up?”
Maybe Sam Raimi never wanted to have to use him again.
“I think I'd read about Raimi saying he needed more time for the effects, and it really shows. Lastly, there was just too much going on during this flick – too many untidy subplots that Raimi tries to mash together at the end. The movie definitely suffers for it. I guess I'm trying to say I could have done with a less furious, more subtle, less campy summer popcorn flick. I'd suggest to Raimi (if he does any other Spidey flicks) to keep the slapstick for films like the Evil Dead series, where it works perfectly.”
Here that Sam? People want another Evil Dead movie. Quit stalling. It’d cost the same as the catering did on Spider-Man 3. Thanks for writing, Don.
Christ Robertson writes, “Your Spidey observations were point on. The entire Venom story should never have been a ‘subplot.’ Rami had masterfully introduced each of his versions of Spidey’s villains to viewers (even Sandman in this one). I still like the Goblin crashing out of the gas chamber and Ock’s arms going wild in the ER. Why does he choose to literally throw Venom in our faces like he does?”
Because if he hadn’t, he would’ve had to endure another three years of fanboys at Ain’t He Huge News bitching about Venom’s absence from the film. Imagine putting a couple of years of your life into an exhausting process, only to have a bunch of geeks spend as long or longer complaining about it online. And, if you’re Joel Schumacher, imagine it as ten years of bitching with no end in sight.
“Was anyone else pining for the line, ‘We are Venom now!’? Was the name ‘Venom’ even mentioned in the film? A few shots of the newly-empowered Venom discovering what he could do would have made a perfect dark inverse to the scene in the first movie of Pete discovering his powers. Think of it: it would be nighttime, Venom discovers webbing and wall-crawling, some New Yorkers see him and think it’s Spidey, they rush to see their hero (already established earlier in the film), and then Venom lays that ugly face on them – missed opportunity!”
Had the studio waited until the fourth film to introduce Venom, you might’ve seen just that.
“Maybe Rami was giving everyone what they pushed him to deliver. His hasty handling of Venom might be his response at having some of his control taken away by Arad. It was his script, after all. He knows Spider-Man 4 is coming, so he can do damage control on that one.”
Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent wrote the script as well, but point well taken.
“Did I miss when the Sandman could fly in a sand-cloud? Also, why make him growl mindlessly when he increases his mass?”
Everyone expects giant monsters to growl.
Tony writes, “I believe that Spider-Man 3 was the best Spidey film so far. It had a great story with strong characters, fascinating special effects, and plenty of action. Go, web, Go!”
This web is gone. Thanks to everyone for writing. Next week: it’s time to yell at each other about 52 and Countdown!
The Spinner Rack
By Ben Johnson and Kurt Amacker
DARK HORSE COMICS
BPRD Garden of Souls #3 (of 5) $2.99
Conan #40 (MR) $2.99
Fear Agent Re-Igntion Vol 1 TP $13.95
Ben: He would totally kick Skywalker ass.
Hanami International Love Story Vol 1 $9.95
Star Wars Knights O/T Old Republic Vol 2 Flashpoint TP $18.95
Star Wars Rebellion #6 $2.99
DC COMICS
Action Comics #849 $2.99
Diamond Comic Distributors, Inc: Please note: still by Fabian Nicieza; not by Richard Donner and Geoff Johns.
All Star Batman And Robin The Boy Wonder #5 (Res) $2.99
Ben: It would be different if the book was any good, but delays for a steamer like this are unforgivable.
Kurt: This book has become so wretched that morbid curiosity will drive me to read this. It either can’t possibly get any worse, or DC and Frank Miller will have reworked it after the huge backlash last year.
All Star Batman And Robin Var #5 (Res) $2.99
Ben: Although this cover with Wonder Woman’s ass is kinda nice.
Kurt: Wonder Ass?
Apothecarius Argentum Vol 1 $9.99
Ben: WTF?
Aquaman Sword of Atlantis #52 $2.99
Kurt: Is anyone reading this? Seriously, how is it? I thought the art looked great in the advertisements. I’m not being sarcastic. I realize I have to say that now, but still.
Army @ Love #3 (MR) $2.99
Batman #665 $2.99
Ben: Next month’s issue comes with a contract for your soul.
Kurt: It would be awesome if you opened it and Bruce Dickinson howled at you, like one of those musical Christmas cards.
Batman Black And White Vol 3 HC $24.99
Batman Chronicles Vol 3 TP $14.99
Battler Britton TP $19.99
Catwoman #67 $2.99
Checkmate #14 $2.99
Countdown 50 $2.99
Ben: When did Jason Todd become a good guy?
Kurt: Probably when he was, you know, Robin.
Ex Machina #28 (MR) $2.99
Ben: What a waste of paper. Who reads this crap?
Kurt: I hate you.
Fables #61 (MR) $2.99
Ben: And that goes double for this!
Kurt: Oh, wait – you were being coy! I still hate you.
Flash The Fastest Man Alive #12 $2.99
Hellblazer The Devil You Know TP (MR) $19.99
Justice League of America #9 $2.99
Justice League of America 2nd Ptg #2 $2.99
Justice League of America 4th Ptg #1 $3.99
Ben: That’s actually pretty impressive.
Kurt: There was this rock comic with Guns N’ Roses that came out in the early 1990s that went into its eighth printing. That has to be some kind of record. Speaking of records and Guns N’ Roses, that just gives me ideas for all kinds of jokes. Make up your own!
Justice League of America Var Ed #9 $2.99
Legion of Super Heroes In The 31st Century #2 $2.25
Oyayubihime Infinity Vol 5 $9.99
Ben: This is what I will do to anyone who buys variant additions.
Kurt: You mean, you’ll do something unpronounceable to them?
Plain Janes $9.99
Kurt: Hear that ladies? Read a comic book. DC is marketing to you. Actually, I’d kind of like to check this out. It’s just like when you read an issue of Cosmopolitan in the doctor’s office and – all right, I’m going to shut up now.
Scooby Doo #120 $2.25
Showcase Presents The Flash Vol 1 TP $16.99
Supergirl #17 $2.99
IMAGE COMICS
After The Cape #3 (of 3) $2.99
Bastard Samurai Vol I TP New Ptg $12.99
City Of Heroes #19 $2.99
Death Jr Vol 2 #3 (of 3) $4.99
Kurt: This is a cute series. My wife really digs it.
Frank Frazettas Death Dealer #2 (of 6) (MR) $3.99
Kurt: Well, this sold like hotcakes last issue, and it was actually pretty good. You might have to snap up a second printing of #1 to catch up, but it’s worth your time.
Hero By Night #3 (of 4) $2.99
Ben: I like this one. It’s fun.
Hunter Killer Six Pack $13.99
Ben: With a name like that who wouldn’t drink it.
Kurt: This is issues #4-8 and the scriptbook, collected in a pack. Sorry, but I’m done with this series. It started out with a lot of promise, but the lengthy delays and the condensed, rush storytelling in the last issue pounded the last nail in the coffin.
Kiss 4K Destroyer Ed #1 $50.00
Kurt: Does it come with Gene Simmons’s tongue or something? Christ.
Madman Atomic Comics New Ptg #1 $2.99
Occult Crimes Taskforce #4 (of 4) (MR) $2.99
Rob Zombie Pres Haunted World of El Superbeasto TP (MR) $19.99
Kurt: I love Rob Zombie, but this comic wasn’t as good as his music.
Sidekick #5 (of 5) (MR) $3.50
MARVEL COMICS
Amazing Spider-Girl Vol 1 TP $14.99
Blade Undead Again TP $14.99
Kurt: With so many cancelled Blade series preceding this one, you really want this little guy to go the distance. But, I’m sorry to say that, while it’s probably the best Blade series since Marv Wolfman wrote the character, it’s still not very good.
Cable Deadpool #40 $2.99
Civil War War Crimes TP $17.99
Civil War X-Men Universe TP $13.99
Dark Tower Gunslinger Born 2nd Ptg Var #2 (of 7) $3.99
Kurt: Hey, let’s count the number of reprints and variants when The Dark Tower wraps!
Exiles #94 $2.99
Fallen Son Death of Captain America Captain America $2.99
Ben: These have proven to be the worst way to honor the memory. Just sucktastic.
Kurt: I didn’t find them too terrible. That’s really glowing praise, I realize, but still.
Fallen Son Death of Captain America Spec Blank Cvr Ed $2.99
Kurt: A blank cover? You’ve got to be kidding me. What next? “Hey kids, it’s a blank comic book. You can draw your own!” Mark my words when I say that the next industry bust begins with this variant. I hear the 1990s tapping at the window.
Magician Apprentice Vol 1 HC $19.99
Magician Apprentice Vol 1 HC Book Market Edition $19.99
Marvel Adventures Avengers #13 $2.99
Kurt: A lot of people are into this book. Anyone want to let me know if it’s worth reading?
Marvel Adventures Flip Magazine #25 $4.99
Marvel Heroes Flip Magazine #25 $4.99
Marvel Masterworks Incredible Hulk Vol 4 HC Var Ed 78 $54.99
Marvel Masterworks Incredible Hulk Vol 4 New Ed HC $54.99
Mighty Avengers #3 CWI $2.99
Ben: Dear Mr. Bendis, stick to Ultimate Spider-Man and Powers or everyone will finally realize how much you can suck.
Kurt: Or, try writing Alias again. That book ruled.
Moon Knight #10 $2.99
Ben: Get ready Knight #11, a lot of butt is coming your way.
Kurt: Um, okay. Care to explain?
Orson Scott Cards Wyrms #4 (of 6) $2.99
Kurt: Back in college, this girl gave me the Orson Scott Card Wyrms. I went to the doctor and they gave me some antibiotics that cleared it right up!
Red Prophet Tales of Alvin Maker Vol 1 HC $19.99
Red Prophet Tales of Alvin Maker Vol 1 HC Book Market Ed $19.99
Runaways Vol 3 HC $24.99
Ultimate Spider-Man #109 $2.99
Ultimate X-Men #82 $2.99
Ultimate X-Men Vol 16 Cable TP $14.99
Ultimates 2 #13 $3.99
Ben: No mother f--king way is a new All-Star Batman and a new Ultimates coming the same week. Get an umbrella. It’s about to rain frogs.
Kurt: All right, I guess I need to get saved. Good-bye whiskey, cigars, and loose women.
Uncanny X-Men #486 $2.99
Kurt: And Ed Brubaker’s first run on Uncanny X-Men wraps up.
X-Factor #19 $2.99
X-Factor Many Lives of Madrox Premiere HC $19.99
X-Men First Class Special $3.99
Ben: Rolling into the new ongoing.
Kurt: And, I’m rolling out of here.
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Also, I'm looking forward to the 52 article next time. When I heard about Countdown at the FLGS I laughed so loud I'm sure I drove away customers. I was happy to not be a DC reader just then.