Yeah, so, I know all you guys want to talk about last week's ANGEL, but here's the thing: I didn't watch it.
That's right. I said it. I didn't watch it.
Now wait, before you shoot off an email summarizing the whole episode for me, I already got a synopsis.
Yep, I didn't watch it. Even though I knew what was going to happen (being a TV critic gives me some nifty access to spoilers) it still wasn't enough to make me switch from THE WEST WING.
Sure, I would've TiVo-ed it. That is, if my TiVo hadn't already been occupied. My sister has an addiction to THE BACHELORETTE that cannot be denied and considering all the TV hogging I do the least I could do is give her the one show she begs for.
Maybe it's a case of too little too late for me. ANGEL has been boring me for almost an entire season. It's gotten to the point where I don't care.
Of course, maybe it's not too late for ANGEL and me.
I've been watching my ANGEL season one DVD and remembering how much I loved the show. When Cordy was still Cordy and there were no Fred and Gunn.
Ahhhh, those were the days.
Yeah, so anyway, let me know what you think? E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com. But please, when you email me, make sure you put something in the subject line other than "Hi" and "Hey" because sometimes I open those and they're ads for porn sites. Be specific. It's gotten to the point where I delete those e-mails that don't have a more substantive subject line. I love hearing from you guys and I don't want to delete your e-mail thinking it's porn.
Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.
Monday, february 17
The crew goes after an artifact that holds the key to an apocalyptic scenario in tonight's new VERITAS: THE QUEST (ABC, 8 p.m.). Yawn.
An old man tells Andy his deepest, darkest secret in tonight's new EVERWOOD at 9 p.m. That secret? He watches and loves JOE MILLIONAIRE.
A Russian immigrant is stabbed to death in a peep-show booth in tonight's new CSI: MIAMI (CBS, 10 p.m.). There are worse ways to go.
Callan tries to learn more about a little girl whose appearances seems to always precede disasters in tonight's new MIRACLES (ABC, 10 p.m.). I heard she was in PLUTO NASH.
Don't forget to check out tonight's all-new CLONE HIGH (MTV, 10:30 p.m.) before it gets cancelled due to all that hunger-striking going on in India. You know, I bet Gandhi had a sense of humor.
TUESDAY, february 18
A slayer-in-training gets whacked in tonight's new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.).
Rory meets Dean's new girlfriend in tonight's new GILMORE GIRLS (WB, 8 p.m.). And I'm sure it won't be completely awkward.
It's 8 p.m. to 9 p.m. in tonight's new 24 (Fox, 9 p.m.) and it appears that the bomb has more protection than was previously believed. D'oh.
Martha is hospitalized after becoming seriously ill from exposure to kryptonite spores in the Kent's storm cellar in tonight's new SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). Kryptonite spores? Can you call an exterminator about that?
NBC's riveting six-part series KINGPIN (10 p.m.) comes to an end tonight. I bet someone dies.
Mackey and his Strike Team plan to bust the Armenian mob money train in tonight's new THE SHIELD (FX, 10 p.m.). Then they go out for ice cream and buy puppies.
WEDNESDAY, february 19
Archer's interest in a human body recovered from a crashed spacecraft takes a backseat to threats posed by the Suliban and the Tholians in tonight's new ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.).
This is probably your last chance to ever watch BIRDS OF PREY (WB, 8 p.m.) again. Enjoy.
Say buh-bye to Rob Lowe in tonight's new THE WEST WING (NBC, 9 p.m.).
Tonight's new THE TWILIGHT ZONE (UPN, 9 p.m.) takes its cues from the original series with two old vignettes getting the update treatment.
Don't forget to check out tonight's SOUTH PARK (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.).
THURSDAY, february 20
At 8 p.m. Fox has got MICHAEL JACKSON TAKE 2 - Jackson's rebuttal to that documentary that aired on ABC on Feb. 6, because you know, it made Jackson look weird and we all know he's just a regular guy.
Grissom and Nick investigate when a man with a wooden stake lodged in the back of his head stumbles out of his car and dies in tonight's new CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.). It looks like those slayers-in-training need some more training.
Dr. Cox's ex has her baby in tonight's new SCRUBS (NBC, 9:30 p.m.).
A bride disappears at her own wedding and suspicions of kidnapping fall on the guests in attendance in tonight's new WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS, 10 p.m.). Or maybe she realized her husband was a total chump. Or maybe, just maybe, this was all set up for a reality show.
FRIDAY, february 21
Don't touch that monkey stupid! TBS has got OUTBREAK at 7 p.m.
Want to hear the most annoying sound in the world? Watch DUMB AND DUMBER at 8 p.m. on UPN.
An encounter STARGATE SG-1 (Sci Fi, 8 p.m.).
Uneasy allies Crichton and Scorpius travel through the wormhole in search of the Scarran outpost, where they suspect the missing Aeryn is held captive in tonight's new FARSCAPE at 9 p.m. on Sci Fi. Held captive by Michael Jackson! Ahhhhh, noooooo!
SATURDAY, february 22
No time for love, Doctor Jones. AMC has got INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM at 6:55 p.m.
The Cartoon Network has got a full hour of JUSTICE LEAGUE, starting at 9 p.m.
Beka testifies in court for a friend accused of stealing DNA and events that follow cause the threat of an attack in tonight's GENE RODDENBERRY'S ANDROMEDA (check local listings).
Twenty years after a comet strikes Earth, humankind has split into two groups: the Cleans and the Infecteds, who suffer from a condition that causes them to age rapidly in DO OR DIE (Sci Fi at 8 p.m.). According to scientists this is the only way to get rid of Dick Clark. Small price to pay if you ask me.
SUNDAY, february 23
Woo-hoo! We've got a full hour of THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 7 p.m.).
Fox has got X-MEN at 8 p.m., like you don't already have it on DVD.
UPN is giving you a second chance to check out Wednesday's ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.
CBS has got the GRAMMY AWARDS at 8 p.m. if you're into that sort of thing.
A betrayed Dixon holds, but refuses to give up, the key to saving Sydney from a trap set by Sloane in tonight's new ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.). Damn Dixon! That isn't very nice of you. Why can't you be more like Marshall?
Friday and Smith investigate the murder of a model in tonight's new DRAGNET (ABC, 10 p.m.).
Johnny is spirited to a haunted house by three sexy kidnappers who want a murder that occurred within its walls solved in tonight's new THE DEAD ZONE (USA, 10 p.m.). Ummm, that sounds like a plot device for FASTLANE.
It's all come down to this. The series finale OZ starts at 9 p.m. on HBO.
FUTURAMA kicks off the Cartoon Network's line-up of ADULT SWIM starting at 10 p.m.
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.