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February 24 March 2: SURREAL, FUTURAMA and MARRIED

Random thoughts abound

By Sonia Mansfield     February 24, 2003


FUTURAMA
© 2001 Fox

Random thoughts alert!


Hey, I didn't mean to make everyone so mad with my "I'm not enjoying Angel as much lately" rant last week. I hope you don't think I hate the show. That's not what I was saying. I was just expressing some disappointment. I'll start watching again when Faith returns next month. Woo-hoo!


So, I hear they're going to make another SURREAL LIFE. I was thinking that Corey Haim should do it. I mean look what it did for the other Corey.


Hey, Fox is actually airing an episode of FUTURAMA on Friday to which I say, "It's about @#$%*& time, Fox. Now bring back ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE before I get really pissed."


Speaking of Fox, the network with no shame is doing this new reality show next week called MARRIED BY AMERICA. Basically, two strangers are going to allow the TV viewers to arrange a marriage for them. Only seriously stupid people would participate in something like that. I wouldn't let most people in this country arrange my furniture let alone a marriage for me. These are the same TV viewers who don't know how to change the channel after KING OF QUEENS and sit through YES, DEAR.


Yeah, so anyway, let me know what you think? E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com. But please, when you email me, make sure you put something in the subject line other than "Hi" and "Hey" because sometimes I open those and they're ads for porn sites. Be specific. It's gotten to the point where I deleted those emails that don't have a more substantive subject line. I love hearing from you guys and I don't want to delete your email thinking it's porn.


Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.


Monday, february 24


Remember that

Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black) and John Crichton (Ben Browder) in FARSCAPE

movie about the bus that couldn't slow down because there was a bomb on it? I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down." Just kidding. It was called SPEED (HBO, 8 p.m.).


A long time ago, the editor of this website told me that he liked the movie UNCLE BUCK (TBS, 9:30 p.m.). I remember thinking that was so funny because the movie was so lame and for months after he told me that I'd say, "Uncle Buck" and laugh every time I saw him. Ahhhh, good times.


Shortly before Horatio is set to testify at a high-profile murder case in which the defendant is the husband of a city councilwoman, he's given new facts that could prove the man is innocent in tonight's new CSI: MIAMI (CBS, 10 p.m.). Well, nobody's really innocent if you think about it.


Who knows what this week's MIRACLES (ABC, 10 p.m.) is about? Last week, it was preempted so ABC could repeat that creepy Michael Jackson special, so this episode could be the postponed one or the originally scheduled one. Consider yourself warned.


Don't forget to check out tonight's all-new CLONE HIGH (MTV, 10:30 p.m.).


TUESDAY, february 25


Andrew tries to film a documentary about Buffy and the Scoobies in tonight's new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.). Title suggestion: Slaying in Sunnydale.


Lorelai's ex-fiancÚ Max pops up, reawakening old feelings in tonight's new GILMORE GIRLS (WB, 8 p.m.). I hate when that happens. Oh wait, no I don't.


It's 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. in tonight's new 24 (Fox, 9 p.m.) and President Palmer confronts his ex-wife. It's about damn time!


Christopher Reeve plays a scientist with some insight into Clark's origins in tonight's new SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.). Well, if anyone would know ...


Wyms gets closer to uncovering Mackey's dirty little secrets in tonight's new THE SHIELD (FX, 10 p.m.). His dirty little secret? He loves watching SORORITY LIFE on MTV.


WEDNESDAY, february 26


Archer and

FUTURAMA

Trip are charged with smuggling and imprisoned aboard a penal vessel in tonight's new ENTERPRISE (UPN, 8 p.m.). Heh heh, I typed "penal."


Matt Damon, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Andy Garica ... Oh god, I'm drooling. Yep, HBO has got OCEAN'S ELEVEN at 8 p.m.


No ANGEL tonight, folks. Sorry. Instead you get the TV movie THE LONE RANGER (WB, 9 p.m.).


A man gets a chance to change his future by visiting his past in tonight's new THE TWILIGHT ZONE (UPN, 9 p.m.). Oh, if I could ever do that I would stop myself from getting that awful perm in the eighth grade. What was I thinking? I'd also stop myself from paying to see BATMAN & ROBIN.


Don't forget to check out tonight's SOUTH PARK (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.).


THURSDAY, february 27


A cocky doc (Jay Mohr) reveals a secret about Dr. Cox to J.D. in tonight's new SCRUBS (NBC, 8:30 p.m.). That secret? Dr. Cox likes to watch DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION on Noggin.


A woman vanishes during a magician's act in this repeat of CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.). Hell, if I were watching a magic act I'd vanish right out the front door.


The guys try to attack John Cleese with fresh fruit in MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS (BBC AMERICA, 9:40 p.m.).


A 16-year-old girl vanishes from a locked room in a psychiatric hospital in tonight's new WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS, 10 p.m.). Any relation to the woman on CSI?


FRIDAY, february 28


The Moya

George Clooney and Brad Pitt front Steven Soderbergh's OCEAN'S ELEVEN remake

crew visits a Scarran border station to uncover Aeryn's whereabouts and mounts a rescue operation in tonight's new FARSCAPE at 8 p.m. on Sci Fi.


Daniel Jackson encounters his former SG-1 comrades in a dream scenario in tonight's STARGATE SG-1 (Sci Fi, 9 p.m.).


IMPOSTOR (Showtime, 8 p.m.) didn't make much money in the theaters. In fact, I think it made about $100, but any movie with Vincent D'Onofrio and Gary Sinse can't be all bad.


See host James Lipton sing the praises of crap like DIE HARD 3 when Bruce Willis stops by INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO (Bravo, 10 p.m.).


SATURDAY, MARCH 1


You've heard about chick flicks movies that make girls kinda weepy. Well, I think THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (TBS, 8:30 p.m.) is a guy flick (although it makes me all weepy too).


The Cartoon Network has got a full hour of JUSTICE LEAGUE, starting at 9 p.m.


Castaways on an eerie island have to face off against zombie-like inhabitants who worship a sea creature called DAGON (Sci Fi, 9 p.m.). Was this movie based on a SURVIVOR episode? It sounds suspiciously like SURVIVOR: MARQUESAS except it wasn't a sea creature; it was a girl with big, fake boobs.


Better get me a bucket. BBC AMERICA has got MONTY PYTHON'S MEANING OF LIFE at 10 p.m.


SUNDAY, MARCH 2


A pain-relief cream gives superpowers to Leela and Fry, who, with Bender, adopt secret identities to fight crime in tonight's new FUTURAMA (Fox, 7 p.m.). It's about freakin' time that Fox kicked down a new episode of FUTURAMA.


Peggy, Minh and Nancy bond to save a school program, but split up when Minh decides she's the best candidate for a school board seat in tonight's new KING OF THE HILL (Fox, 7:30 p.m.)


A movie star falls for Ned and moves to Springfield in tonight's new THE SIMPSONS (Fox, 8 p.m.). A repeat episode of THE SIMPSONS airs at 8:30 p.m. Woo-hoo!


UPN is giving you a second chance to check out Wednesday's ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.


The witches help out a mermaid in back-to-back episodes of CHARMED (WB, 8 p.m.).


A sex lecture from Lois rattles Malcolm in tonight's new MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (Fox, 9 p.m.). It would rattle me too.


HBO's SIX FEET UNDER returns for its third season tonight at 9 p.m. with a doozy of a death.


I know how much you CINESCAPE readers like shows and movies about witches so maybe you should check out CBS' two-part TV movie SALEM WITCH TRIALS starting at 9 p.m.


Jack's loyalties are tested by the strange and risky union he's forged with Irina to smoke out Sloane in tonight's new ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.). Hee hee, I typed "smoke out."


A woman killed in her home is the first victim of a killing spree in tonight's new DRAGNET (ABC, 10 p.m.).


BOOMTOWN (NBC, 10 p.m.) returns tonight with a new episode. And some of you were worried that it wasn't coming back.


Don't forget to check out tonight's new THE DEAD ZONE (USA, 10 p.m.).


FUTURAMA kicks off the Cartoon Network's line-up of ADULT SWIM starting at 10 p.m.



Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.


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