Go ahead, ask me.
Yes, I thought the Super Bowl edition of ALIAS was totally freakin' awesome too! It kicked ass. It ruled.
If that episode didn't bring in new viewers who are dying to watch it every week then I don't know what else the folks at ALIAS can do. They did everything just short of having two chicks make out to draw in all those male viewers watching the Super Bowl.
It's like a whole new beginning now. People were always complaining to me that ALIAS is confusing and they felt it was too late to get on board the ALIAS train.
Well, not anymore. Choo-choo. All aboard.
If ALIAS doesn't become the hit it deserves to be (and it may not it's my understanding the Super Bowl episode was delayed on the East Coast and didn't air until 11 p.m.! Way to screw things up ABC.) then that will only reaffirm my belief that most TV viewers are dopes.
Of course, the success of FEAR FACTOR already proves my theory, but you get what I'm saying.
Yeah, so anyway, let me know what you think? E-mail it to me at RedSonia@cinescape.com.
Now, let me break down the week for you. Oh, and as always, check your local listings.
Monday, february 3
The team is forced to crash-land a plane during a fierce storm in a search for an ancient, mysterious source of energy in tonight's all-new and very boring I'm sure VERITAS: THE QUEST (ABC, 8 p.m.).
Andy thinks about dating again in tonight's all-new EVERWOOD at 9 p.m. Hey, I totally understand his unwillingness. I go through it all the time.
A nude man is found tied to his bed, having suffocated on a rag stuffed in his mouth in tonight's all-new CSI: MIAMI (CBS, 10 p.m.). When did regular ol' sex stop being exciting enough?
Callan and in tonight's all-new MIRACLES (ABC, 10 p.m.). Does this have anything to do with the plane crash-landing in VERITAS?
Gandhi has A.D.D. in tonight's all-new CLONE HIGH (MTV, 10:30 p.m.). Oh, not the real Gandhi. Just the clone Gandhi.
TUESDAY, february 4
Willow gets a little action from Kennedy and turns into Warren in tonight's all-new BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (UPN, 8 p.m.). That's an unusual and unfortunate side effect of making out.
Lorelei remembers through flashbacks what happened when she found out she was pregnant with Rory in tonight's all-new GILMORE GIRLS (WB, 8 p.m.).
It's 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. in tonight's all-new 24 (Fox, 9 p.m.) and Jack takes Kate with him to find Syed Ali since she is the only one who can identify him.
Clark asks Lana out on a date and (what a surprise) she says yes in tonight's all-new SMALLVILLE (WB, 9 p.m.).
A cute, funny sitcom called A.U.S.A. premieres tonight at 9:30 p.m. on NBC. I only mention it because it stars Scott Foley (Jennifer Garner's husband) and I think he's hot.
Ernesto's murder puts Miguel in control of the cartel in tonight's all-new KINGPIN (NBC, 10 p.m.).
Mackey and Aceveda work together to nab a heroin dealer selling to middle school students in tonight's all-new THE SHIELD (FX, 10 p.m.). I doubt the nice drug dealers in KINGPIN would do that.
WEDNESday, february 5
Wesley Snipes is Wanda's boss in tonight's all-new BERNIE MAC (Fox, 9 p.m.). Ummm, I wish my boss looked like Wesley Snipes.
Angelus starts revealing secrets about the gang in an attempt to turn them against each other in tonight's all-new ANGEL (WB, 9 p.m.).
A gambler seeks an edge in tonight's all-new THE TWILIGHT ZONE (UPN, 9 p.m.). Hey, all a gambler needs to know is when to hold'em, when to fold'em, when to walk away and when to run.
Don't forget to check out tonight's SOUTH PARK (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.).
THURSDAY, february 6
Jordan tells Dr. Cox to take a hike when she's in labor in tonight's all-new SCRUBS (NBC, 8:40 p.m.). From what I understand, women say the craziest things when they are in labor. So, I guess they act like me when I've had too much red wine.
Catherine tries to track down a sexual predator who breaks into single women's apartments and terrorizes them in tonight's all-new CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION (CBS, 9 p.m.). Oh, this episode is going to give me nightmares.
Jack and his team investigate the disappearance of a flight attendant in tonight's all-new WITHOUT A TRACE (CBS, 10 p.m.). First luggage. Now flight attendants. Geez.
Actually, if I really want to be scared I'll watch THE EXORCIST at 10 p.m. on Cinemax.
Noggin has got a full hour of my hero DARIA at 11 p.m.
FRIDAY, february 7
Billie joins Van and Deaq's mad dash to stop a cop killer when an undercover Fed frames her for murder and puts the Candy Store's future on the line in tonight's all-new FASTLANE (Fox, 8 p.m.).
The SG-1 team squares off against the malevolent Gou'ald matriarch Nirrti, who plots to genetically engineer a race of superhuman warriors in tonight's STARGATE SG-1 (Sci Fi, 8:30 p.m.). I don't know what they're so worried about. He's starting with sheep.
A man in a space suit is shot by a teenager who saw a UFO in tonight's all-new JOHN DOE (Fox, 9 p.m.). Hey, teenagers do crazy things. One time I stayed out 20 minutes after curfew.
Female members of the Moya crew observe a secret meeting that will have a drastic impact on the future of the Uncharted Territories in tonight's all-new FARSCAPE at 9:30 p.m. on Sci Fi.
Sure, he's redeeming himself with ADAPTATION, but remember when Nicholas Cage was really cool? Before he was an Oscar winner. Before that movie about the war and the violin and Penelope Cruz. No? Then check out VAMPIRE'S KISS on IFC at 7:35 p.m.
SATURDAY, february 8
ABC has got the male equivalent of a chick flick (and a movie I truly love), THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION at 8 p.m.
Bob alert! IFC has got TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME at 9:05 p.m.
Cha-chunk. It's LAW & ORDER as far as the eyes can see tonight on NBC starting with the original at 8 p.m., CRIMINAL INTENT at 9 p.m. and SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT at 10 p.m.
The Cartoon Network has got a full hour of JUSTICE LEAGUE, starting at 9 p.m.
SUNDAY, february 9
We've got a full hour of KING OF THE HILL starting at 7p.m. on Fox, but I'd rather have AN EPISODE OF FUTURAMA!!!! What the hell is wrong with Fox?!
I hope I calm down enough to enjoy the full hour of THE SIMPSONS (Fox, starting at 8 p.m.).
But of course the full hour of MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE (starting at 9 p.m.) will be ruined for me because the whole time I'll be bitching about how I want to see ANDY RICHTER CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE. There's just no pleasing me. Just a little hint as to why I'm single all the time.
UPN is giving you a second chance to check out Wednesday's ENTERPRISE at 8 p.m.
The sisters try to save a sandman in tonight's CHARMED (WB, 8 p.m.). Next week, the old lady who lives in a shoe gets evicted and it's up to the sisters to help her move all her stuff.
Sydney plans to leave the spy life behind are interrupted when a scientist is kidnapped and it looks like someone from SD-6 is involved in tonight's all-new ALIAS (ABC, 9 p.m.).
Lupita warns Miguel of a black cloud looming over his impending deal with a Thai heroin cartel in tonight's all-new KINGPIN (NBC, 10 p.m.). It's always something with the Thai heroin cartel.
Johnny suffers a serious injury that requires a blood transfusion, causing the psychic to experience multiple visions of the multiple donors, including one whose life is in jeopardy in tonight's all-new THE DEAD ZONE (USA, 10 p.m.).
Don't forget to check out tonight's all-new OZ (HBO, 9 p.m.).
FUTURAMA kicks off the Cartoon Network's line-up of ADULT SWIM starting at 10 p.m.
Remote Patrol is our weekly Television column.