Joke for the day

[padawan66]

A woman walks into a pharmacy and tentatively approaches the pharmacist. The pharmacist, seeing her hesitancy, asks if there is anything that he can do for her. She asks him in a quiet voice, "Do you carry extra large condoms?" He points to where they are and asks if she wants to purchase a box. She says, "No, but do you mind if I wait here until someone does?"



:wink: :lol:

[Trazalca]

One night a man rolls over in bed and gives his wife a big grin.
She says, ''Not tonight honey, I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay clean and fresh.''
The man feeling rejected rolls over and tries to go to sleep.
In a few minutes he rolls back over and asks his wife, ''Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?''

[Son of Gilbert]

What does a sixty five year old woman taste like?

















Depends

[Asonokirk V 2.0]

That is SOOOOO wrong!

:)

[Bill_the_Pony]

Why didn't Frodo and Sam just drive to Mount Doom?





:dunno:















































Because the PARKING there was MORDOR!!!!!!


http://www.excelsiornews.com/xboard/images/smiles/rofl.gif







:lol:


:ohwell:


:romy:


:rolleyes:

[kah]

The teacher gave all the children honey lifesavers.
After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.


"Well," the teacher said, "I'll give you all a clue, it's
what your mother may sometimes call your father."


One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver
out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're ass-holes!"

[Trazalca]

The teacher gave all the children honey lifesavers.
After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.


"Well," the teacher said, "I'll give you all a clue, it's
what your mother may sometimes call your father."


One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver
out and yelled: "Oh My God!!!! They're *******s!"

Eh, Kah? There's just WAY too many asteriks to make out that last word.
If I'm not getting it, all apologies. Any hints?

[sickness]

Think about the shape of a Lifesaver.

[Trazalca]

Think about the shape of a Lifesaver.

Got it. :wink:

[Asonokirk V 2.0]

True story, true story . . . :wink:

I was in a bar and all night long there was this guy at the far end just staring into his drink. He never drank it, just stared at it. I was bored and got curious, so I asked the bartender what was up with the guy.

The bartender said the guy's wife had left him earlier that day, and he was just too broken up to do anything but sit there like that.

I felt bad for the guy, having experienced a painful breakup in my past, so I thought I'd offer him a chance to at least talk about it. I asked him if he was ok, and this is what he told me . . .


"I was married for 6 years. It was sheer bliss for me. Then, today, out of the blue, my wife says she's leaving. I couldn't figure out why since I thought we were so happy together, and when she told me why, it just didn't make sense, what do you think about this?: She said the daily beatings weren't the problem, that my forcing her to work 3 jobs to support me wasn't the issue. She didn't even complain about my weekly sex romps with her friends, or the times I made her sleep in the backyard, naked in the poison ivy I had planted there. When I asked her if it was because I had never remembered her birthday, or ever bought her a Christmas present that made her want to leave, she denied it.

Finally, I said, Well WHY then, you bag of wormfood, are you f'ng leaving me?
She said it was because I couldn't remember her name."

"I still can't remember it, and I can't figure out why that is so important?"

I sat in stunned silence for a bit. Moved back over to where I had been sitting, and began staring into my drink.

[Bill_the_Pony]

Got it. :wink:


I get it, too! :)

In fact,

:rolleyes:

forget it

[sickness]

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence, but I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing a skimpy halter top and tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."