Trazalca
01-23-2006, 01:35 PM
Mind you, certain preparations have to be made for a fully functioning rant.
The following effort is merely a test run of sorts.
You can't expect a Space Shuttle to be in top form after being
in a hangar for the last half a year gathering dust, now do you?
But as I've brought out the can of EndDust, added a few touches
of paint to hide the dings on the sides, and oiled up the gears,
this is a work in progress. Much work ahead for a proper release
of rant madness from yours truly.
So for now...this is only a test...
GASSSP!!
I can't believe it!
I can post again!
It's been too long. And I got rant build up
in my blood vessels enough to go into serious
competition with my cholesterol levels.
The idea of a bulletin board run solely by Mega and Tycoon
was just too much. I need variety dammit.
I can only watch "I'm Not Rappaport" and "Waiting for Godot" so many freakin' times in my simple lifetime.
Or reading endless banter between the two old geezers up in the balcony
of the Muppet Show theater. They're entertaining, sure.
But after a while, I needing reminding of what the butt
of their jokes still look like.
First of all, let me say I don't like cats.
Can't stand them. Sure they're good for cuddling
and snuggling when they get all lazy and purring
on your belly when you're sleeping. But I'm allergic to them.
My eyes get all puffy and watery, and my face looks
like it tried to recover from a week-long bender, and failed miserably.
It's awful. And good enough reason for me to daydream
all sorts of happy catastrophes to the feline species.
Replacing cats with shotputs would be a good start.
College football enthusiasts have my full permission
on practicing drop kick sessions on the back of a barn
with them.
Even better, you know that scene in the first
Superman movie where Clark Kent, all frustrated in
Smallville, kicks the football and it sails out of earth's orbit? Yeah. Replace with cat. Schweeeet. :D
Or better yet, remember that scene in Sean Connery's Outland where that guy in the space suit had the glass cover
of his helmet start cracking? Which of course led to his head exploding in the vacuum of space? Yeah. Replace dude with cat. Niiiice.
At this point, I just need to vent on just about anything.
Oh yeah. I heard two days ago that Michael Jackson is now putting on the finishing touches on his latest song to help out the Katrina victims...WOW!
He must be one dammed perfectionist to allow so much time
to pass before he allows his genius to hit the airwaves.
How kind of him to think his music still matters enough to make a difference to anybody other than himself!
It's enough to make me want to wear sequins, gloves, white sox with black shoes, and moonwalk myself off a 50 story building.
So it's pretty much a safe bet we can all relax once it hits the radio top 40 right about the time the Mardi Gras clean up crew gets to working down Bourbon Street.
You know, I was tempted to end that sentence a few lines up differently with "Michael Jackson is now putting on the finishing touches on his latest effort, his Bahrain slave-boy Amid...", but that would've been BAD, so BAD,
jammon...
This is a test.
This is a test of the emergency TRAZ RANT system.
This is ONLY a test.
If this had been an actual emgergency rant,
the puns, witticisms and barbs would've been flying about
your head at a much alarming and rapid pace,
crawling into your bleeding ears like Ceti eels, wrapping around your cerebral cortex, rendering lurkers to be
extremely susceptible to suggestion at the whim of Jakester, which soon the victims would succumb to a downward
spiral of madness, and a sudden urge to see a Michael Bolton concert, and flock to join online Clay Aitken fan clubs.
Stop, dropping and rolling would have done absolutely
nothing for you as you fall helplessly and mercilessly
under the onslaught verbal chaosity!
Tis a shame Bokchoi can't come up with the entire
Cinescape posters as cast members of West Side Story.
It would've been quite lovely.
And the musical qualities would've added enough spice
to this forum to make Jakester envious. Ah well.
:winks:
The following effort is merely a test run of sorts.
You can't expect a Space Shuttle to be in top form after being
in a hangar for the last half a year gathering dust, now do you?
But as I've brought out the can of EndDust, added a few touches
of paint to hide the dings on the sides, and oiled up the gears,
this is a work in progress. Much work ahead for a proper release
of rant madness from yours truly.
So for now...this is only a test...
GASSSP!!
I can't believe it!
I can post again!
It's been too long. And I got rant build up
in my blood vessels enough to go into serious
competition with my cholesterol levels.
The idea of a bulletin board run solely by Mega and Tycoon
was just too much. I need variety dammit.
I can only watch "I'm Not Rappaport" and "Waiting for Godot" so many freakin' times in my simple lifetime.
Or reading endless banter between the two old geezers up in the balcony
of the Muppet Show theater. They're entertaining, sure.
But after a while, I needing reminding of what the butt
of their jokes still look like.
First of all, let me say I don't like cats.
Can't stand them. Sure they're good for cuddling
and snuggling when they get all lazy and purring
on your belly when you're sleeping. But I'm allergic to them.
My eyes get all puffy and watery, and my face looks
like it tried to recover from a week-long bender, and failed miserably.
It's awful. And good enough reason for me to daydream
all sorts of happy catastrophes to the feline species.
Replacing cats with shotputs would be a good start.
College football enthusiasts have my full permission
on practicing drop kick sessions on the back of a barn
with them.
Even better, you know that scene in the first
Superman movie where Clark Kent, all frustrated in
Smallville, kicks the football and it sails out of earth's orbit? Yeah. Replace with cat. Schweeeet. :D
Or better yet, remember that scene in Sean Connery's Outland where that guy in the space suit had the glass cover
of his helmet start cracking? Which of course led to his head exploding in the vacuum of space? Yeah. Replace dude with cat. Niiiice.
At this point, I just need to vent on just about anything.
Oh yeah. I heard two days ago that Michael Jackson is now putting on the finishing touches on his latest song to help out the Katrina victims...WOW!
He must be one dammed perfectionist to allow so much time
to pass before he allows his genius to hit the airwaves.
How kind of him to think his music still matters enough to make a difference to anybody other than himself!
It's enough to make me want to wear sequins, gloves, white sox with black shoes, and moonwalk myself off a 50 story building.
So it's pretty much a safe bet we can all relax once it hits the radio top 40 right about the time the Mardi Gras clean up crew gets to working down Bourbon Street.
You know, I was tempted to end that sentence a few lines up differently with "Michael Jackson is now putting on the finishing touches on his latest effort, his Bahrain slave-boy Amid...", but that would've been BAD, so BAD,
jammon...
This is a test.
This is a test of the emergency TRAZ RANT system.
This is ONLY a test.
If this had been an actual emgergency rant,
the puns, witticisms and barbs would've been flying about
your head at a much alarming and rapid pace,
crawling into your bleeding ears like Ceti eels, wrapping around your cerebral cortex, rendering lurkers to be
extremely susceptible to suggestion at the whim of Jakester, which soon the victims would succumb to a downward
spiral of madness, and a sudden urge to see a Michael Bolton concert, and flock to join online Clay Aitken fan clubs.
Stop, dropping and rolling would have done absolutely
nothing for you as you fall helplessly and mercilessly
under the onslaught verbal chaosity!
Tis a shame Bokchoi can't come up with the entire
Cinescape posters as cast members of West Side Story.
It would've been quite lovely.
And the musical qualities would've added enough spice
to this forum to make Jakester envious. Ah well.
:winks: