To All My Friends

[kah]

Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad-- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue-- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused-- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath ... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".



Remember .. A good friend will help you Move ...
a REALLY good friend will help you move a body ...
let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.

Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it, but only you
can feel the true warmth.

Edited just for you, Duckface.

[DaForce]

And a real friend would never, ever use that fucking horrible blue coloring for letters.


I'm just saying, yo.

[kah]

And a real friend would never, ever use that fucking horrible blue coloring for letters.


I'm just saying, yo.




No? Well, what color would a real friend use, Duckman?

[DaForce]

No? Well, what color would a real friend use, Duckman?


Maybe something a little easier on the eyes. Something that couldn't be seen from space.

[Jakester]

A real friend would give me "benefits."