Asonokirk V 2.0
05-12-2006, 09:30 PM
Ok, here's the deal.
You're starting to realize, as you age, there is this thing called "death," and it is where you are actually going to end up, as does everyone. So, like this is so uncool, you know?
I figured out that what you can do is get yourself some "Reaper Bait," in other words a rube you can use to dupe the Grim Reaper. As death reaches for you, you've got your bait ready. You just make sure you've trained your bait to take that citybus hit for you, or come down with that Ebola virus you were exposed to, while you remain uninfected. The most difficult training is trying to get the bait to age for you. Eventually they would, but by then, you know, "rube meets citybus, etc."
You can identify your bait by the following discussion with the rube that takes place anywhere outside next to a street where there is traffic and parking for cars:
You are walking down the street and approaching an intersection. It is a time of the day when it is normal for there to be heavy traffic. The traffic signal in front of you is green. A car moving in your direction comes up from behind you and stops besides you, not next to the curb but in the middle of its lane, blocking all of the traffic behind it.
You glance over to it when you hear:
Rube: "Hey, mister, do you know how I get to the freeway?"
You look ahead of you, to your left, to your right, and then turn your head to see behind you. In every direction, are huge structures, each one consisting of two 10 foot long metal poles holding up a 15 foot high and 10 foot wide dark green display surface. The words on each surface have the words "Freeway" in 4 foot high letters, a direction (South, North, East, West) and a large white arrow pointing in one of the 4 directions. Now, the operative term here is "In every direction." No matter where you look, you see a sign saying "Freeway" with a large arrow pointing you towards it. You could not AVOID seeing these signs unless you had your eyes closed since stepping onto the street, didn't HAVE eyes, or had artificially induced your perception to provide you with false information regarding your surroundings :).
This person, my friend, is your rube. You will have to repeat this process more than once, of course, as bait is historically, well, never going to need retirement benefits . . . :)
This post is an attempt at making up a funny situation, I'm really not insane . . . really . . . :)
You're starting to realize, as you age, there is this thing called "death," and it is where you are actually going to end up, as does everyone. So, like this is so uncool, you know?
I figured out that what you can do is get yourself some "Reaper Bait," in other words a rube you can use to dupe the Grim Reaper. As death reaches for you, you've got your bait ready. You just make sure you've trained your bait to take that citybus hit for you, or come down with that Ebola virus you were exposed to, while you remain uninfected. The most difficult training is trying to get the bait to age for you. Eventually they would, but by then, you know, "rube meets citybus, etc."
You can identify your bait by the following discussion with the rube that takes place anywhere outside next to a street where there is traffic and parking for cars:
You are walking down the street and approaching an intersection. It is a time of the day when it is normal for there to be heavy traffic. The traffic signal in front of you is green. A car moving in your direction comes up from behind you and stops besides you, not next to the curb but in the middle of its lane, blocking all of the traffic behind it.
You glance over to it when you hear:
Rube: "Hey, mister, do you know how I get to the freeway?"
You look ahead of you, to your left, to your right, and then turn your head to see behind you. In every direction, are huge structures, each one consisting of two 10 foot long metal poles holding up a 15 foot high and 10 foot wide dark green display surface. The words on each surface have the words "Freeway" in 4 foot high letters, a direction (South, North, East, West) and a large white arrow pointing in one of the 4 directions. Now, the operative term here is "In every direction." No matter where you look, you see a sign saying "Freeway" with a large arrow pointing you towards it. You could not AVOID seeing these signs unless you had your eyes closed since stepping onto the street, didn't HAVE eyes, or had artificially induced your perception to provide you with false information regarding your surroundings :).
This person, my friend, is your rube. You will have to repeat this process more than once, of course, as bait is historically, well, never going to need retirement benefits . . . :)
This post is an attempt at making up a funny situation, I'm really not insane . . . really . . . :)