Stupid Skills

[kah]

What are those skills you have honed to champion status, but no one would ever give you an award for?

I have become a master toilet plunger. :o My stupid toilet is on the outside wall of our apartment, so cold weather makes it back up. So does warm weather, apparently. If you pee off-center it backs up. Looking at it with just a smidge of disgust will bring the water level to the rim. I swear, I am plunging that bastard 2-3 times a week.

I just want a little recognition for having to put up with such a stupid piece of porcelain, and developing such a useful, but embarrassing skill.

[Bill_the_Pony]

My stupid toilet is on the outside wall of our apartment.....

:eek:

Honnney, move to a place that has one INside. :o


But I'd still have a word with those landlords. :angry



:D

[kah]

:eek:

Honnney, move to a place that has one INside. :o


But I'd still have a word with those landlords. :angry



:D

We never even thought about it when we moved here. Of course, we only thought we'd be here 6 months instead of the 2 years so far. I'd never had a bathroom on an outside wall before, but I know better now. Between the toilet and the 20 degree temperature drop within a few feet of the wall in winter, it's not that great here, but that's what we get for paying next to nothing in rent.

[Bill_the_Pony]

oh, wait. I thought you were saying it was OUTSIDE. :o

:dunno:

:wink:

[kah]

LMMFAO!!!

We are not so backwards here that we still use outhouses!

Holy shit, I'm actually crying here.

:lol:

[sickness]

Stupid skills.... hmmmm... I shouldn't tell you the last one I figured out.

[Jakester]

You can suck your own ****, can't you? Although that's not really stupid. That's pretty awesome.

I can twirl pretty much any pillow on one finger. I can even toss it up in the air and catch it back on one finger. I can swap fingers, too.

Oh yeah. I can also lick my eyebrows.

[Monic]

For the past year and half, I became an excellent mice/rats (still don't know which one it is) slayer. I could have lived all my life without that skill, but hey... someone has to do it. :rolleyes:

If someone has some good tricks to keep the mice/rats outside the house, I'm listening.... :angry

[fastcar]

http://www.frumpyfoodie.com/photos/restaurant_widow_addition/cherry.jpg
http://www.informatics.sussex.ac.uk/images/admissions/physicsnewsletterimage01.jpg

http://static.flickr.com/41/118614455_48830a0a69_m.jpg

[Jakester]

So, Speedy, what are you doing tonight?

[fastcar]

Boy did you leave that one wide open.

I'll decline to interject one of the following.


"Your wife!"

"Your mother!"

"Your girlfriend!"


But in reality, probably cleaning the bathroom.

[Meathead]

If someone has some good tricks to keep the mice/rats outside the house, I'm listening.... :angry
*channelling Marg DeLaHunty* Stop cooking with CHEESE!*channel ends*
Seriously?
Plug up all the holes in the plaster leading to the outside that you can find.
A mouse can slide through a crack as small as 1/2" if it smells food on the other side. Heck, our full grown femal rat at 3 years old could wedge herself through a crack 3/4" wide if there was food on the other side...just make sure that the are only three typse of entrances to your home: doors, windows and the friggin' chimney (just for Santa though)...

[Monic]

Thanks Meathead. :)

That's my problem, I cannot find the hole where they enter. The exterminator who came last year told me that in some case it is very difficult to have the house mice/rats proof. Like you said, they can enter in a hole not bigger than a 10¢.

Now, I'm "controlling" the problem by killing the visitors BEFORE they reproduce. And I'm looking for alternate solutions to solve the problem. :ohwell:

[neglet]

Try the feline solution: adopt a barn cat, an older one so you know it's learned to hunt. Then just pick up the bodies and keep kitty's worm treatment up to date.

My stupid skill is nothing very exciting: I'm a champion belcher. I can achieve a depth and resonance to my burps that can shake the rafters. Not everyone appreciates this talent, however. :(

[kah]

Try the feline solution: adopt a barn cat, an older one so you know it's learned to hunt. Then just pick up the bodies and keep kitty's worm treatment up to date.

My stupid skill is nothing very exciting: I'm a champion belcher. I can achieve a depth and resonance to my burps that can shake the rafters. Not everyone appreciates this talent, however. :(

Ditto the cat.

I think that's a great talent! A girlfriend of mine did that at her own wedding reception in front of 600 people.

[sickness]

Negs, that is an awesome talent and one I would have gladly taken part in just a month ago but this new woman is starting to have an effect on me. Damn the female species! :lol:

[Bokchoi Cowboy]

Negs, that is an awesome talent and one I would have gladly taken part in just a month ago but this new woman is starting to have an effect on me. Damn the female species! :lol:

Whoooah there, retro back a bit Sickness....woman??

[Trazalca]

My stupid skills are thus:

Moving my scalp without raising my eyebrows to do it.
Moving my eyebrows independently from each other.
Wiggling my nostrils...

...now I feel stupider for posting this.
Thanks. :ohwell:

[sickness]

Whoooah there, retro back a bit Sickness....woman??
Yeah. Pretty much the long & short of it is we have the same circle of friends at the gym. A few months ago we both started to become a little more interested in each other. I thought she was pretty cool but didn't want to say anything for fear of making anyone uncomfortable, especially her. She thought I was pretty cool but didn't want to say anything for the same reason so we just never said what was obvious to a lot of other people. She told a friend of hers, who happens to be dating a good friend of mine, how she felt. Word made it to me and we've been talking for a couple or three weeks now. We've found there is definitely an attraction there but we're not sure if we want to go anywhere with it yet so we're just talking for now. However, I did spend Independence Day with her and her friends from outside the gym.

With that explained, she's detail oriented and prefers her guys well-groomed and well-mannered, even a bit old-fashioned (which I kinda already was... the old-fashioned part, that is). I don't know if I'd call the grooming metrosexual but it's different than what I was. I would definitely describe myself as rough around the edges before but that's changed. I've been trying to institute the well-mannered part without any drive from her just because it would be a total turnoff to most women if a guy they just started hanging out with started belching and farting in their presence without any sense of decency.

There ya go.

[omicron]

whipped!

No, just kidding, especially since you and your gym partner could snap my skinny little neck like a twig. :)

Boki, since you're back, you really need to PS Sick with one of those freaky leather-looking bodybuilding chicks they show on ESPN2 or whatever. :lol:

Omicron

[Bokchoi Cowboy]

Boki, since you're back, you really need to PS Sick with one of those freaky leather-looking bodybuilding chicks they show on ESPN2 or whatever. :lol:

Omicron


You mean like this?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v432/webdev/sicksNomi.jpg

[sickness]

No, no, no. She is not a heavy lifter at all. That is a major turnoff for me. I don't want a woman who looks like the guy who bench presses 335 pounds right after me.

[sickness]

You fuckin' sick bastards... :rolleyes: :lol:

[omicron]

ah it's good to have Boki back. :wink:

Omi

[Monic]

Try the feline solution: adopt a barn cat, an older one so you know it's learned to hunt. Then just pick up the bodies and keep kitty's worm treatment up to date.

Neglet, thanks for the advice.. also to Kah. Sadly, I'm very very allergic to cats. :(

[DaForce]

Neglet, thanks for the advice.. also to Kah. Sadly, I'm very very allergic to cats. :(


Howzabout a snake? Let the sucker loose, and he/she'll stop the little four legged invaders in no time.

[sickness]

whipped!

No, just kidding, especially since you and your gym partner could snap my skinny little neck like a twig. :)

Boki, since you're back, you really need to PS Sick with one of those freaky leather-looking bodybuilding chicks they show on ESPN2 or whatever. :lol:

Omicron
Whipped? No. Just smart enough to heighten the interest AND pick my battles. ;)

[Monic]

Howzabout a snake? Let the sucker loose, and he/she'll stop the little four legged invaders in no time.

http://smileys.sur-la-toile.com/repository/Surpris/run.gif

Seriously, I thought about it. Although, I'm not scared of snakes as I am of spiders, I'm not sure that I would want one loose in my basement. :D

[Asonokirk V 2.0]

What are those skills you have honed to champion status, but no one would ever give you an award for?

I have become a master toilet plunger. :o My stupid toilet is on the outside wall of our apartment, so cold weather makes it back up. So does warm weather, apparently. If you pee off-center it backs up. Looking at it with just a smidge of disgust will bring the water level to the rim. I swear, I am plunging that bastard 2-3 times a week.

I just want a little recognition for having to put up with such a stupid piece of porcelain, and developing such a useful, but embarrassing skill.

I guess the stupidest skill I have, one I actually practiced at to get better, is being able to flip coins over my head and catch them behind my back without looking. It is definitely stupid, as it has no functional value and has no relationship to any similar skill I can think of that is of some value.

[Meathead]

It makes coin tosses at football games interesting... :ohwell:

[kah]

My stupid skills are thus:

Moving my scalp without raising my eyebrows to do it.
Moving my eyebrows independently from each other.
Wiggling my nostrils...

...now I feel stupider for posting this.
Thanks. :ohwell:

I can do the eyebrow thing, too, but the scalp thing, impressive! I can bend my left index finger back over my hand and make it stick. Yeah, it's kinda gross.

Monic- Highly allergic? Or mildly allergic? Long haired cats for some reason have less allergens than short-haired ones. Snakes in da muthafuckin' basement? I don't think that's a better idea. I'd move first.

[Monic]

Monic- Highly allergic? Or mildly allergic? Long haired cats for some reason have less allergens than short-haired ones. Snakes in da muthafuckin' basement? I don't think that's a better idea. I'd move first.

hehehe... no worry... no snake. But I'm thinking a skunk. Someone told me that no animal will enter a house with a skunk. :D

I'm highly allergic. When I'm in a house with a cat, I have difficulty to breathe after a few hours, if I didn't take my Reactine. And even with Reactine, I'm still sneezing. And I love cats!! :(

[kah]

hehehe... no worry... no snake. But I'm thinking a skunk. Someone told me that no animal will enter a house with a skunk. :D

I'm highly allergic. When I'm in a house with a cat, I have difficulty to breathe after a few hours, if I didn't take my Reactine. And even with Reactine, I'm still sneezing. And I love cats!! :(

Bummer. You could buy the $3500 Hypoallergenic Cat (http://www.webmd.com/content/article/96/103591.htm). Or you could just live with the mice.:dunno:

[Sgt. Awesome]

I can wiggle my ears..

and my other skill... well... the sad thing is I COULD get an award for it...

...

I'm good at Day of Defeat...

...

The stupidest skill of all... skills at online games.